Tag Archives: female nature

2737. Back to Basics for Back to Basics — Part C


Your Highness Back to Basics,

I continue my response to your comment at 2728. I explain the male nature that causes so much roughness for women dealing with men. I believe the knowledge imparted below can relieve a lot of angst that leads to female unhappiness. It’s more complex than your view of how women think. It may or may not be of personal interest.

Your intriguing statements include this bolded sentence. The context is complaint. “And believing your man thought other females marvelous attractions… while he enjoyed you mostly for your personality….” That is, men are no darn good because they enjoy looking at other women and not appreciating the attractiveness they have at home. I address it in two sections: “marvelous attractions” here.

Men enjoy the marvels of female attractions because they have two sex drives. Their primary drive is the lifelong urge to have first-time sex with attractive women that permit it, aka conquest, and often referred to as spreading their seed.

From time immemorial women have complained about that natural urge. Modern women blame and complain about it, but either God or Nature did it. OTOH, and modern women seem to ignore this, God or Nature empowered women to conquer that male drive. Many women over the centuries mastered the art, and old school American women standardized the practice.

Highly different from males at birth, females are blessed with the relationship expertise required to civilize and tame men such that they devote themselves to one woman. It’s a skill set that requires knowledge of both the female and male natures and more than a little practice. Men lack that expertise, and so relationship building and management—more indirect than direct, more patient than impulsive, more sacrifice than selfish—devolves to women or it doesn’t go well or last very long.

Women should practice endlessly on all men with the male nature in mind. He has: need for a place to flop, throw his things, get some R&R, and prepare to face tomorrow’s competitors; drive to shape results by competing against men and Mother Nature and keeping himself satisfied with his accomplishments; want of freedom to do as he chooses and especially make himself stand out among others as successful competitor, as a person of significance; fear of insignificance; ability to give of himself to those who help keep himself satisfied with who he is and what he does; two sex drives as described above and below this point; and belief that he’s handy. Women differ on all counts (Part B, post 2736)

A man’s secondary sex drive is to satisfy himself with frequent and convenient sex. Two separate drives and both keep a man’s focus on beauty and sex; attractiveness and sex are inseparable to the male mind.

However, after a couple’s first sex together, her beauty plays a different role in their relationship. Sex does not bond a man and with attractiveness attached, she appears to lose value from less notice. It’s not her; it’s his nature.

Unconquered attractive women have a larger magnetic effect in male eyeballs, which makes a man’s loyalty reasonably easy to shift from one to another. A woman’s likeability and virtues—feminine qualities a man admires—are needed to keep a conqueror or husband from disappearing after a one-night stand, some dating, or even years of marriage.

If he’s unsatisfied with himself being with her, she’s temporary and perhaps dumped without notice. It burdens women to use their relationship expertise to help their man find satisfaction with himself by associating exclusively with her.

Women are born with ability to make themselves more magnetic to a man, to compensate and overcome male uniqueness with inborn and uniquely feminine expertise for generating successful relationships. The female nature is very capable of discouraging a man from exploiting his conquering hopes and dreams. It requires that females make their own sex drive useful and influential first, enjoyable and pleasurable later. (Women interested in exploiting their relationship expertise may find guidance in the Virtual Virginity series listed in the CONTENTS page.)

There is another side of male nature that leads women to wrongful conclusions. Unlike women, men are hunter-conquerors. Critical to well-being, their peripheral vision catches motion to assess it as prey or threat. It’s an unconscious reaction normal to the male nature. Although sexual ability declines with age, the primal urge to conquer doesn’t. A man glances at what’s passing most of his life. (Just a glance is not a red flag. If he stares at a retreating female body in her presence, it’s a minor problem and her accusations shift it to major.)

Yes, men are attracted to other women and always will be. With her free will, each woman has the ability to accept it as natural and compensate in other ways. Specifically, find self-gratitude in keeping herself attractive anyway, make her man grateful to have her, and help keep him pleased with himself. It’s the smothering blanket for a good relationship.

Sex and her attractiveness play minor roles in making this arrangement permanent. After they marry, he’s responsible for the marriage and present-day happenings. She governs their relationship and future expectations. But that’s another story for another time and place.

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Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, marriage, old school, sex differences

2620. Response to Edith Mcklveen at Post 2618


EDITOR’S NOTE: Her original comment is lower case, GUY’S RESPONSE IN CAPS.

YOUR HIGHNESS EDITH MCKLVEEN,

NOTHING WRONG. I ADMIRE YOUR THINKING ABOUT SHACK UP. YOU PROVIDE A NEW OPPORTUNITY TO DISTINGUISH THE NATURE OF HOW MEN ARE BORN FROM THE LESSONS THEY LEARN IN LIFE. FOR THE FORMER, THEY ARE FAULTLESS. FOR THE LATTER, THEY CAN BE BLAMED, BUT WOMEN FAIL THEMSELVES WHEN THEY DO SO.

PARENTHETICALLY, THE FEMALE ADOPTION OF MASCULINE-STYLE SEXUAL FREEDOM HAS DISTORTED FEMALE THINKING ABOUT MEN. AS THE LEFTIST POLITICAL CLASS PLANNED HALF A CENTURY AGO, MEN AND WOMEN ARE NOW ENEMIES. PERHAPS I CAN SOFTEN SOME OF THE WRONG-HEADED NOTIONS THAT ARISE OUT OF THAT.

WWNH does women a great service by making crystal clear certain basic truths of male-female relationships.  THANKS

This service is absolutely necessary since modern women, in American culture and other cultures, are not being taught these basic truths as they once were. TRUE

This article [2618] makes clear yet again why sex outside marriage is so bad and detrimental to women.

ABSOLUTELY BAD AND DETRIMENTAL AND IT PROMOTES MALES DISRESPECTING AND DOMINEERING FEMALES. BECAUSE THEY HAVE BEEN TURNED INTO ENEMIES, THE PHYSICALITY OF MEN  DOMINATES THE MENTAL ACUITY OF WOMEN AND SOCIETY LOSES IT’S COMPASS AND THE CULTURE WANDERS WITHOUT DIRECTION UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF FEMININE ORDER.

But this particular [SHACK UP] post adds an aspect of male behavior that, for me, actually undercuts the WWNH assertion that men are very practical and rational and wham, bam, thank you ma’am about sex.

AS ARE WOMEN, MEN ARE ALWAYS PRACTICAL AND RATIONAL TO THEMSELVES. IF THERE’S NOTHING WORTHWHILE TO LEAVE BEHIND, THEN POKE, COME, AND GO ARE VERY PRACTICAL AND RATIONAL TO BOTH GENDERS. BUT WOMEN AFTER SEX USUALLY HAVE SOMETHING WORTHWHILE NOT TO LEAVE BEHIND.

IF WOMEN FIND IT IMPRACTICAL AND IRRATIONAL TO DEAL WITH POKE, COME, AND GO, THEY HAVE THE COMPETITIVE ABILITY TO MAKE MEN PAY AN ADVANCE PRICE OF SELF-INVESTMENT, SUCH AS MARRIAGE. EVEN IF MEN CAN’T, WON’T, OR DON’T, BOTH GENDERS ARE BORN TO COMPETE TO GET THEIR WAY WITH OTHERS. WHOEVER DOMINATES THAT PROCESS, WINS IN THE END.

YOUR ASSERTION THAT WWNH UNDERCUTS ITSELF RESTS ON THE PRESUMPTION THAT THE MALE NATURE CANNOT BE DISTINGUISHED FROM LESSONS LEARNED IN LIFE. MEN SHOULD BE HELD AT FAULT ONLY FOR LESSONS LEARNED. IT’S THE MALE NATURE THAT GOD CREATED AND THAT WOMEN MUST PRIMARILY WORK WITH AND EXPLOIT THEIR OWN NATURE DOING SO. THAT IS, IF WOMEN HOPE TO SUCCEED IN FULFILLING THEIR HOPES AND DREAMS.

My view of a man who would be “desperate” to start co-habiting or to continue by shameless manipulation is that he is not merely or only doing the natural male thing.

YOU’RE RIGHT, THOSE ARE LESSONS LEARNED. MEN BY NATURE ARE NOT DESPERATE ABOUT WOMEN. THEY LEARN THAT SHAMELESS MANIPULATION CAN REWARD WITH A SMALL INVESTMENT OF SELF.

He is actually doing something that is warped, that is immature, that actually denies the male-female realities WWNH reminds women of.

EXAMPLES SET BY POOR PARENTING AND IMMATURE TEEN PEERS WARP THE MALE MIND. VALUES AND STANDARDS ADOPTED IN ADOLESCENCE GENERATE IMMATURITY. MASCULINE-STYLE SEXUAL FREEDOM MAKES ADULTOLESCENTS OF MEN.

Co-habitation reinforces for men an immature, actually pre-adolescent view of life. It’s the view that ignores the reality of the existence of women.

JUSTIFIED BY SEXUAL FREEDOM, WOMEN REFUSE TO EARN THE RESPECT OF MEN BY WITHHOLDING CONQUEST. WOMEN ARE CONSEQUENTLY SEEN AS UNRESPECTABLE, UNDESIRABLE EXCEPT FOR SEX, AND TO BE USED AS TOOLS OF MALE PLEASURE. AND THAT’S BEFORE THEY GO OVERWEIGHT AND LOSE THE REST OF MALE INTEREST FOR MARRIAGE.

It’s the [PRE-ADOLESCENT] view that says pleasure and power can be obtained by being persistent, clever, and overwhelming, and responsibility for properly handling pleasure and power can be discarded the moment that responsibility starts to limit enjoyment of pleasure and power.

BOTH SEXES ARE BORN TO GET THEIR WAY WITH THE OTHER. WOMEN USE THEIR FREE WILL TO DISCARD RESPONSIBILITY AS MEN DO; EXAMPLE: WHEN A WOMAN YIELDS TO  CONQUEST OFTEN AGAINST HER BETTER JUDGMENT.

Whether they are gay or straight, it doesn’t matter.  It’s just the male way, built on DNA, hormones, and brain wiring.

I SEE THE POWER/PLEASURE INTERACTION AS COMPETITION, NEGOTIATING, AND THUS NATURAL TO BOTH GENDERS. POWER IS THE PROCESS OF MEN DEALING WITH WOMEN, ENTERTAINMENT IS THE SYSTEM AND PLEASURE OF WHAT WOMEN OFFER WHEN DEALING WITH MEN. NEGOTIATION CALLS FOR BALANCE, BUT MEN LEARN HOW TO DEFEAT WOMEN WHEN WOMEN DON’T LIVE UP TO THEIR DNA, HORMONES, AND BRAIN WIRING.

But I am at a point in my life where I am coming to see that men who function this way are actually not functioning as men were made to function.

MEN ARE FOLLOWING THEIR NATURE TO THE CORE WHEN WOMEN FAIL TO FOLLOW THEIR NATURE TO THE CORE. BOTH SEXES ARE BORN TO BE COMPATIBLE AS MATES AND WILLING AND ABLE TO COMPETE TO GET THEIR WAY. WHEN ONE GOES ASTRAY, THE OTHER FOLLOWS BY TAKING ADVANTAGE. BY FOLLOWING THEIR NATURES, THEY MATCH UP PRETTY EVENLY, AND IT’S A DRAW THAT EARNS MUTUAL RESPECT.

For purposes of teaching and reinforcing WWNH ideas, it is very helpful to isolate instinctive male behavior and look at it separate from female behavior, but that behavior in the real world is not separated from female behavior.

I THOROUGHLY ISOLATE INSTINCTIVE FEMALE MOTIVATION AS WELL AS MALE. SO, AT WWNH, FEMALE BEHAVIOR IN THE REAL WORLD IS NOT SEPARATED FROM MALE BEHAVIOR. I GO FURTHER, MATCH THEIR NATURES AS COMPATIBLE, AND IDENTIFY DIFFERENT MOTIVATIONS AS THEY LEARN DIFFERENT LESSONS IN LIFE.

Men who consistently act as if their male behavior is meant to exist independent and uninfluenced by female behavior . . .

Those are not men as God intends them to be.

YOU MUST MEAN IN RELATION TO WOMEN. NEITHER SEX STANDS ALONE. GOD CREATED A SPECIES THAT HAS TO PERPETUATE ITSELF OR PERISH, AND HE WOULDN’T DO THAT OR WE WOULD HAVE BEEN GONE MILLENNIA AGO. INSTEAD, WE’VE BECOME THE MOST SUCCESSFUL SPECIES, IF WE JUST MEASURE BY EXPLOITATION OF OUR MENTAL ABILITY AND DEVELOPMENT.

Men who use their maleness to get their every selfish desire . . . and who try to try coerce other people when it looks as if what they desire is slipping away . . . those are not truly male men, no matter how much they may look it on the surface.

BOTH SEXES ARE BORN TO COMPETE TO GET THEIR WAY. IF WOMEN ARE LOSING, IT’S NOT THE FAULT OF MEN. IF MEN ARE WINNING, IT’S A PYRRHIC VICTORY, BECAUSE THEY HAVE LOST FAR MORE BY WOMEN LOSING THEIR ABILITY TO HANDLE MEN SUCCESSFULLY IN RELATIONSHIPS.

In my view, however much a man might want sex, if he does not have the ability to patiently wait for it in the context of marriage, and if he is not willing to go into a serious relationship with the idea that it will end in marriage . . . he is no real man.

THAT’S WHY AND HOW WOMEN MAKE REAL MEN. WITHOUT WOMEN NO REAL MAN CAN EXIST, SINCE A WOMAN MEASURES THE REALITY OF A MAN AS SHE THINKS OF HIM AS FIT FOR MATING.

If a man can only be “tricked” into a commitment through a woman’s romantic strategies and is not mature enough to leave her the hell alone if it looks like marriage will not work . . .

SORRY, BUT ROMANTIC STRATEGIES HARNESS WOMEN AND NOT MEN. MEN RELY MORE ON LOGIC, REASON, CURIOSITY, AND IMAGINATION RATHER THAN ROMANTIC FANTASIES THAT MOTIVATE WOMEN TO EXPECT MORE THAN MEN ARE WILLING TO INVEST OF THEMSELVES.

He is not, not, not a man as God intends men to be.

OF COURSE HE IS. HOWEVER, HE’S NOT THE MAN THAT WOMEN OR ONE WOMAN INTENDS HIM TO BE. GOD MADE WOMEN THE GOVERNORS OVER MALE BEHAVIOR. WOMEN ARE ENDOWED WITH THE RELATIONSHIP EXPERTISE, BUT MEN HAVE NOT THE FOGGIEST NOTION OR INTEREST IN HOW TO CREATE, BUILD, OR MANAGE RELATIONSHIPS THAT LAST (ONLY THOSE BUILT AROUND POKE, COME, AND GO).

However much a woman might want him to be The One, she needs to run as far away from him as possible.  Because it is for sure that she will get hurt if she doesn’t.

IT’S WHY GOD MADE WOMEN SO MAGNIFICENTLY ENDOWED TO IDENTIFY, SCREEN, AND REFUSE TO ASSOCIATE WITH THOSE FROM WHOM SHE SHOULD RUN. IF SHE DOESN’T, WHY BLAME MEN?

SHE HAS ALL THE RELATIONSHIP TALENT. SHE HOLDS THE COUPLE/FAMILY UNIT TOGETHER. HE HAS ALL THE HARD-WORK TALENT. HE IS DESIGNED AND HORMONALLY FITTED TO KEEP A RELATIONSHIP PROVIDED, PROTECTED, PROVISIONED, AND WITH PROBLEMS SOLVED.

EXPECT MORE OR SOMETHING ELSE, WITHOUT FIRST RAISING HIM AS A BOY AND LATER CONDITIONING HIS THOUGHTS TO FEMALE ADVANTAGE, AND YOU WILL BE SURPRISED BY A MAN’S LIMITATIONS FOR SATISFYING ONE OR MORE WOMEN.

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2604. Who is Responsible for Marital Success? Chapter 13a: Hank Explained


Her Highness Femme says “there is NO WAY a man would make a speech like that to a woman (me).” I’m sure she rings many bells elsewhere.

The series is titled, Who is Responsible for Marital Success? Common sense says both parties and a dual responsibility. Common senses says that sharing, dividing, and fulfilling the dual responsibility is a competitive and possibly combative job. Common sense says negative motivation—criticism and blame—produces unwanted results and can prompt failure in any process. Works that way with kids doesn’t it? Husbands are just big kids in the view of their wives. Yet, many wives ignore common sense and produce their own misery.

Women want their husband to be more responsible, and so Hank assumes full and complete responsibility even ahead of his marriage to Jenny. He exemplifies his male nature; he is sufficiently motivated to upgrade a system in need, please his woman, and admire himself for having undertaken to produce such promising results. The greatest satisfaction comes from the toughest achievements, and Hank is hardwired to believe it.

Women sympathize, empathize, share their miseries, swap justifying thoughts, and support each other as they bad mouth men. Then, as a gender, they shape their complaints and blames into female-sharpened hatchets to be thrust into the masculine psyche. With Hank, I idealize five things to expect, if men did what women claim they want and expect.

  1. Our man Hank takes complete charge to produce a magnificent plan of what he thinks his woman will more than welcome. He has no hidden agenda and expects to negotiate details later. (He knows the marriage system doesn’t work well. Women rely on love, but it is never enough. He intends to prevent problems rather than have to overcome them and thereby relieve Jenny of so many wifely problems. His intentions are far more honorable than any woman should expect, but yet less acceptable. He lacks one thing: spur of the moment woman-think, and his lack converts the story to fantasy.)
  2. Our motivated hero demonstrates with actions his promise to be a good husband, to take charge and assume responsibility for mate, family, and home. (He is motivated to assume all risks and rely on his expectation that wife will provide full cooperation with his leadership. He dreams of their life together sixty years from now. He’s not a dawdler. He accomplishes, produces, and can be depended upon to make things work out satisfactorily.)
  3. Our potential husband already planned how he intends to prevent rather than have to heal or recover from interpersonal problems with wife and family. (The eight strategies described in post 2600.)
  4. Inspired not just by Jenny but his own need to please her, Hank knows what Jenny needs most. His plans are aimed directly to guarantee his promise to cherish her for life as her husband.
  5. Following his nature, Hank designs and plans to cure ailments in the ailing marital system, because he is sufficiently incentivized to make his life more sterling in his eyes and golden in Jenny’s.

There comes a time in the world of under performing marriages, wifely complaints, and assigning blame that men stand up to say, let’s do something else; e.g., upgrade marriage. It was Hank’s time, and he took it. Common sense says he could never get away with it. In fact, it would probably scare most women away. But not Jenny, she has her own lessons to teach, so the fantasy continues.

Admittedly, the story morphed to fantasy. It is pardonable. He knows the female nature and knows it well, but Hank lacks one thing. Woman-think, the common mental processes that will dominate Jenny’s development of events and relationships under his grand plan. It amounts to this in the real world. A man’s planning for their future too easily interferes with a woman’s relationship development and self-brightening of her own future at the present time.

Of course you won’t see or hear Hank’s speech from a man today. Hank morphed from real in chapter 1 to fantasy in 13.  Women don’t always need what they expect out of men and their man, and Hank represents it on steroids. It’s Jenny’s turn for fantasy, next.

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Blog 2339. Suggestions for Raising Children — Part XIII


Tactical Parenting: Encouraging Sexual Restraint in Teen Girls

I presume that readers take exception to masculine-style sexual freedom for females. It’s now expanded with a follow-on movement of sex for pleasure in the U.S. It’s now developing overseas into threesomes for one and both sexes and on-the-street connecting up with those known and unknown, which means only a matter of time before the practice immigrates here.

If you don’t like it, your best contribution is teaching girls to avoid teen sexual activity. By avoiding it in adolescence, girls learn that other things are more important than sex and sexual freedom; for example, the ability to keep a husband. It’s then up to girls to teach boys, provided moms and dads teach boys to respect girls as unique and more valuable to men when treated respectfully.

To all moms, don’t preach to save herself for her husband. Teach to protect her heart and mind for herself, so she’s better prepared to handle males and life as she sees fit. A girl well-educated about herself and males knows what to do that’s best for her. She knows how to distinguish sincerity from smooth talk and lies and how to handle each.

Moms can’t be too well prepared to train and uplift girls to earn their potential for the handling of men and a mate. As women go so goes society, and only mothers can get them there. Dads need to encourage but moms do the work.

You may think of the following as too philosophical. However, sound personal decisions are based more on good philosophical underpinnings than on less stable beliefs such as popular opinion. So, I intend to unload all that I can figure out as relevant to moms raising girls to achieve their girlhood hopes and dreams.

Until now, I never realized the endless connections between what mom knows and how to raise better daughters. Sex today interferes dramatically with that process. Moms need more non-sex info and so this series continues to expand far beyond that originally intended.

Female character shapes the values, standards, and expectations that flood the culture and determine how people live in society. When moms focus on teaching about sex, they miss the boat. When they teach about screening males, handling dates, training boyfriends, discouraging players, and especially keeping husbands, they are on target to raising sterling daughters into women with significant influence with men and over boys.

When mom has a better picture of how the male and female natures prioritize and interact, she’s much better prepared to convey the lessons appropriate to each girl’s level of maturity. By puberty the lessons can be complete and a girl’s sense of self-development can carry her through adolescence without too much hurt.

A mother’s judgment is invariably sound when she depends on facts rather than popular opinion. Her biggest burden then is to gain and maintain daughter’s respect for mom’s teachings, which is a matter of self-discipline, nurturing love, not blaming others, and starting with toddlers in the third year.

NOTE: Mom’s biggest challenge is to get the father’s support, backing, and encouragement of daughter to listen to mom, whether present in their lives or not. IOW, mom sorely needs father’s respect to reinforce whatever respect daughter has for mom.

Modern teens are involved in sexual activity after copying adults, so moms have to counter that social movement when they teach about sex in early childhood. It’s tough, but how else can they overcome the political outrageousness of sex-ed in kindergarten unless they start early?

I suggest this plan. Except for basics, discourage interest in sex-education as being promoted. Mom knows better than bureaucrats. Teach beneficial behavior that attracts and holds the interests of males without having to satisfy those interests. Teach girls to make males work for everything they get from girl or woman. Earn masculine respect rather than popularity. Teach independence, teach girls to dislike the popular venues and achieving popularity. They all want to be liked. But they benefit permanently when they are respected. They earn respect when they refuse boys having their way even in the simple things such as copping a feel, kissing without earning it by demonstrating devotion with actions rather than just words, and  specifically by not spreading their legs for any reason.

Men respect what they earn and don’t appreciate what they don’t earn. Free gifts are meaningless, especially sex. And men can’t love who they don’t respect. So, the love of a man depends on how she makes him earn the sharing of her persona with him without sexual involvement.

Girls gain nothing from conquest except they bond and boys don’t. She loses and he benefits immensely: 1) Whatever respect she gained earlier by refusing quits growing. 2) His obligations to please her ‘expire’. 3) He doesn’t have to search any longer for weaknesses to facilitate bedding her; he owns their sexual agenda. She’s a keeper, booty, or dumpee. 4) He’s free to look for someone else.

Moms should stick to family values that glue relationships. Promote strengthening of personal character that emerges from sexual restraint. Describe the unexpected penalties for lack of good character that urges restraint in teen life. Teach deferred gratification and persuade against immediate gratification. Teach the importance of self-gratitude as critical to the sense of self-importance so earnestly craved by the female psyche.

Instead of blaming men for the social and domestic ailments of females, teach the blessings that women brought to American greatness. Men conquered the West, but women civilized it. Through their indirect influence with husbands, American wives morphed two male-dominated religions into our one-of-a-kind female-dominated Judeo-Christian culture. Our country is what wives made it by taming the male nature and husbands into pleasing the women in their lives. Womanly influence is maximized at the breakfast table and pillow talk—provided her man has obligated himself by becoming devoted to her.

It raises the question. What makes him become devoted to her? Answer: Her likeability and his determination to be loyal to her without his fear of being dumped. Devotion builds as he pleases himself for the purpose of pleasing her, and his actions reinforce his feelings for her.

Men need neither religion nor morality; they can and will just fight out their differences. Women need both, which are essential to strengthen the female character, political relevance and influence, and ability to make better men out of their mates—as both better husbands and good examples for other men.

When society moves upward with moral standards, women dominate the culture. When women allow moral standards to deteriorate, society becomes more immoral and men come to dominate values and standards. As that happens, the culture declines and individual marriages are made weaker. Today, they are also made fewer, and female influence fades accordingly.

But notice this. Wives and not single women did it in the past, which means that marriage is critical to supporting a female-friendly society made that way by wifely dominance of cultural values and standards. Single women don’t wield influence over men except as power enables it on the job, but that doesn’t impress men to accept and adopt female value and standards off the job. Only wives can get men to change their ways in the direction of more female friendliness, and it requires a delicate, well-educated, patient, and feminine touch.

What does all that mean for teaching girls to avoid teen sex? How can girls do what’s right for themselves? How can they understand themselves, boys, men, mates, and their promiscuous peers, unless they know the likely consequences of interacting and how to both resist female peer pressure and outsmart males?

When moms teach it well, girls know what to do with it. The more females keep their feelings among their sex, the more mysterious women are to men, which reduces the male’s ability to take advantage, which keeps girls and women in the driver’s seat in their relationships.

I have more on this subject but inadequate time to get it organized and explained with the clarity I seek. Sorry, but the following will be more ‘miscellaneous’ in its identity.

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2271. Dark Side of Feminism: The Swamp of Ill-feeling


I aim at the gender level, ladies, so don’t take it personal except the sentence surrounded by asterisks.

The male and female natures inherited at birth have been socialized and domesticated into habits that work contrary to how we are born. Default conditions are ignored because of pressures designed by political activists. I don’t alibi for either sex but blame Feminism to explain how and why compatibility has sunk into the swamp of ill-feeling toward the opposite sex.

Feminists taught women to blame men for female problems. Doing so put women in the role of acting contrary to their nature, contrary to where their heart leads them. *As the direct response, single women soften their natural hard-headedness and married women harden their soft-heartedness.*

Men aren’t as much offended as they are disappointed in females. Men think: I want to cooperate but with all the crap you pull, why should I?

As women go so goes society and we all do what makes us feel good about ourselves; women do it with little regard for how it registers with men. The combination causes men to harden up their hard-headedness and refuse to soften up their natural hard-heartedness. Men are disappointed because they are discouraged from being heroes to the opposite sex, which gives every indication of being in distress but undeserving of masculine help.

Feminism changed all women; it’s now a universal spirit. Women can’t resist being convinced that they deserve better than whatever men produce and provide. They measure men by how men treat them instead of how men measure themselves by what they accomplish. That difference rocks compatibility.

Adopting feminist thought, women don’t or can’t abandon their natural motivational baseline, which bastardizes their motivational drive and produces results that further confuse the female mind, and which earns disrespect in the male mind.

She tries to bond with sex but men don’t. She abandons modesty to be liked and men don’t respect her. She forgoes mystery that fires up the male imagination and favors full disclosure that kills male curiosity. She expects boyfriend to be loyal to her but she doesn’t first earn his respect. She expects husband to be faithful but tries to change him. She builds his castle on fashion and her reputation with women and disregards his desire for a functional recovery and resting place. She weakens his comfort and daily recovery by insisting to keep a perfect appearance within the home. She tortures him with petty requests to do what she can easily do herself. She commands his presence without respecting his other obligations. She doesn’t respect his family but she wants them to do what she expects. She ranks her children over her man and expects him to peacefully play second fiddle to her music score. She ignores her heart by letting others convince her its undependable to protect and promote her interests. She wants to make sure he knows that her needs and wants are more important than his.

By trying to either be more like men or get them to act more like females, women confuse themselves. They are unable to produce the outcomes they long for. Men wish it were otherwise, but modern women are propagandized to listen to women instead of men. It’s more a gender than individual happening; by blaming men, women escape guilt for causing relationship failures. Much as the radical feminists anticipated it five decades ago.

On the other side of the ledger, the male nature stubbornly rejects feminist theory. Men stick to mostly following their nature, which of course is never all that admirable to women. Men learn in life that particular behaviors annoy the heck out of women and—when inclined to please their woman—they avoid the annoyances. However, when blamed, they easily convince themselves that ‘I don’t appreciate what she does, why please her?’, which pushes them back toward their self-centered, hard-headed, and hard-hearted nature.

So, what else is new? He takes me for granted. He never shows enough affection. His job comes before me. He won’t help with housework. He won’t help enough with the kids. He won’t clean or pick up after himself. He’s a slob around the house. He spends our money on his toys. He’s so selfish he doesn’t know the meaning of ‘us’. He wants sex whether I’m ready or not. He never wants to take my family into consideration. He loves our daughter but expects too much from our son. He thinks I should be able to handle a full-time job and housework with no help and no problems. He talks a good game but doesn’t produce when the chips are down.

Those are symptoms of men who don’t care if they annoy their woman or they purposely do it out of some real or imagined spite. Men aren’t that opposed to cooperation unless they want to save face.

Blaming a man shows disrespect and men tire easily of it. They expect to be respected and appreciated and to measure it by her displays of obvious gratitude, which also endorses his likeability to her and her willingness to be loyal to him.

Thus, the pointy finger of blame continues to mock compatibility and flood the already full swamp of ill-feeling toward the opposite sex.

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2175. Dating in Mid-life — Part C8: Her Past, A Simpler View


You can’t shape the dating atmosphere to your advantage without anticipating what is likely to come up. This post is aimed at reinforcing the more practical side of a subject and admittedly aims more at younger than more mature women.

Perhaps the toughest test of your worth to Mr. Good Enough, can and will he accept you without knowing the details of your past sex life? He has four interests: to determine his comparative value as a lover, to prevent his embarrassment as your lover, to determine the likelihood of you cheating, and what really intrigues him: Promiscuous? With his friends? With someone he knows? Mistress? Shack up? Cheap? Easy?

It’s his nature; he’s born that way. Men begrudge anyone who went before them, and the begrudging varies with who are the individuals. Husbands can be forgotten as legitimate earners of your favors (unless you bring it up)—but not the others and some measure of too many or too much reflects harshly against not just you but more importantly him.

CAUTION: The Manosphere loudly broadcasts that women are equally entitled to sexual freedom and their history is of no concern to advocates of Game philosophy. Don’t fall for it, darling. Their philosophic values are founded on the supreme superiority of men over women to the extent that respect for women is non-existent. Their philosophic flavoring floats on Feminism, tends toward homoeroticism, and leans on Islamic values. Overall, it contradicts anyone’s interest in sexual discretion and monogamy.

Here are a dozen pointers to help shape the dating scene to your advantage.

  1. Your known past generates suspicions that override acceptances and assurances. Your unknown past generates fewer suspicions to eat away at the mutual trust you hope to build.  [241]
  2. Men seek and others often advise full disclosure. When men actively pursue more about your past, they can’t ignore and not use the information to shape their thinking. Talked into full disclosure, women expect fairness and equality. The male nature does not originate fairness for sharing sexual assets, and equality is a female concept that men don’t normally consider in human relations. [241]
  3. People argue that trust cannot arise without full disclosure. Hah! Trust arises from convictions drawn from beliefs and speculation about a person. Trust does not arise when specific knowledge prevents such convictions. [241]
  4. Full disclosure comes out uneven, unequal, un-repairable, because the male nature values a woman’s chastity far more than the female nature finds interest in a man’s sexual history.  [241]
  5. The harder a man works to draw details out of your sexual past, the more likely he will use it against you sometime, someway. Perhaps latently, indirectly, or vengefully. It’s available to hold over your head and to rationalize or recover from his own mistakes. [241]
  6. Forgetting your sexual past with lack of knowledge is far easier than forgiving what Mr. GoodEnough learns from full disclosure. The more he knows, the more he thinks. The more he thinks, the more he looks for the bad or unacceptable. The more unacceptable, the less forgetting. The less forgetting, the less forgiving. [241]
  7. Feminine intuition trumps full-disclosure. While not easy, you are blessed with the skills and expertise to withhold who, what, when, where, why, and how of what he doesn’t already know. Withholding information is not dishonesty. Disclosure means candid, accuracy means honest. [302]
  8. His spirit and willingness to give more than he takes may indicate his ability to honor your decision and help qualify him as Mr. GoodEnough. However, if he’s more of a taker, he may not honor your other expectations either. Such as these after marriage: Have kids even though he agreed. Or your desire to stay home and home school, when he wants more income in the home. Or support you in caring for a sick parent. [327]
  9. Your undisclosed sexual past defends your relationship, because his ammo box lacks your historical bullets to fire back in domestic squabbles. [327]
  10. The forward-thinking woman convinces all her female friends to never leak anything about her past to her dating partner, boyfriend, husband, or any other man. But this may fail too, because friends betray friends. They steal dates, boyfriends, lovers, and husbands, don’t they? Consequently, the wisest woman keeps her sexual history as secret as possible even from friends and family. [327]
  11. Former relationships may be known to your man, but no mention should be made or comparative details disclosed. It’s toxic in any relationship for you to disclose the relative sexual worth of one man to another, regardless of who’s the better. [302]
  12. Don’t think you can outsmart him by claiming he’s your greatest lover ever. You opened the door to his inquiry about how and why he’s the greatest, so you’re trapped into telling what you’re best off not to disclose.

The more that Mr. GoodEnough knows, the more likely he will make you pay some price for your past. Couples do squabble. You may never know or understand what’s happening. Yet, he may strike back because of your earlier sexual events. It takes very little for reminders of your past to grow into humiliation for him. Your history affects his sense of significance, whether you know it or not and accept it or not. 

I know this subject has been perhaps overheated and difficult to accept. Too much of a good thing can still be boring. Tomorrow’s subject is also a tender one that needs to be reviewed for mid-life dating. It’s submission, even though we all know that subject doesn’t apply before marriage. Preparation is easier than recovery, which is the not just everything but quite often the only thing.

 

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Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, How she wins

2169. Chivalry — Recovery is Everything and Overdue


If you read the first post on this subject, #2168, why have we as a culture so readily accepted the intentional murder of chivalry at the hands of feminists? More importantly, how do we recover if the feminists were to let us? Or why should we even try?

I talk much about the character and custom-setting deeds of our forebears and how society’s female-friendly standards shrink. Perhaps chivalry could help right our sinking cultural ship, so I describe the road to recovery.

Chivalry indirectly leads to female happiness in one of life’s cause-and-effect natural phenomena. The process that follows is produced by both sexes following their hearts to live according to the natural condition they inherit at birth. It’s what instinct and intuition lead men and women to do naturally. It contributes greatly to general compatibility that leads respectably to enjoyable mating and indirectly to better fulfillment of girlhood hopes and dreams.

However, the practice has to be taught in childhood. That’s right. Both sexes need to have the benefits of following one’s instincts reinforced. God provides no owner’s manual until old enough to study the Bible. So, parents have to close the gap.

Male Nature:

  • Women are born to earn happiness over time. Men are born to earn satisfaction through daily achievements, and chivalry provides significant opportunity for both sexes.
  • His actions generate his feelings. A male who practices chivalry develops over time a deeply-rooted belief that he should unconditionally respect females, which includes the desire to give unconditionally, which enables him to eagerly find favor with a female, which energizes him to put his convenience momentarily at the disposal of a female, which makes him feel good about himself, which earns self-admiration, which provides satisfaction that he did the right thing. His chivalrous actions program his heart with those feelings (so long as the process isn’t interrupted by female signals that his effort isn’t welcome, in which case his will power and determination have to say ‘don’t quit’).
  • To boy or man brought up to be chivalrous, it becomes a duty. They are automatically responsible for distressed or otherwise discombobulated females. Fulfilling one’s duty is not an event that deserves reward, and men don’t appreciate unearned gifts. Consequently, women don’t know much about rewarding a chivalrous act, even though mere acknowledgement is sufficient when a guy does his duty.
  • It’s a hard and fast belief developed in childhood. Teaching boys that females are weaker and, therefore, to be protected makes males feel stronger, which opens the male heart to helping, which opens the door for chivalry, which defines a new duty, which energizes males to earn female favor, which produces a male at her disposal, which makes females feel superior, which puts her in the role of boss, which confirms she’s not the weaker sex, which guys can accept unless it’s verbalized.

Female Nature:

  • As you’ve read so often on this blog, women are born to be happy but they have to earn it. It comes from each woman’s gratitude for herself compounded by gratefulness for others in her life. Treated chivalrously, she becomes grateful for who she is and what she deserves, which adds to her sense of self-importance and ability to pass her gratitude on to others.
  • Chivalrous actions make a female feel superior. Her heart becomes programmed with respect and gratitude, which makes girls and women more grateful for themselves, which contributes to their happiness. Indirectly, chivalrous men help women find happiness. Also, his actions program her heart with respect and appreciation for males.

However, the foundation of chivalry is a delightful charade based on male eagerness to deceive themselves about females. Men are extremely unwilling to acknowledge any superiority to women; it’s inconsistent with their natural sense of dominance. By focusing solely on physical abilities and calling females the weaker sex, men can ‘prove’ to themselves that any superiority attached to the female gender is inconsequential. Chivalry confirms the weakness of one sex, which strokes the ego of men, and lifts any burden from men to admit otherwise. That’s the female-friendly charade that men develop to win female favor, but also to protect their own sense of significance.

Which begs the question, isn’t Feminism designed to highlight the superiority of women? Sure, but it doesn’t work except with the power of government imposed for legal, political, and economic advancements that become toxic when brought into both social and domestic relationships by well-meaning women with unrealistic expectations.

History proves the sexes can live compatibly. Men can’t and won’t do so when women impose their superiority to get their way. Either women keep their superior nature to themselves and avoid reminding men that it even exists, or men resent, resist, and often retaliate. To admit women are superior is to admit manly insignificance, which by nature is a man’s greatest fear that ranks with her fear of abandonment, which is what he does when she goes too far.

I submit that men or boys who are raised to be chivalrous, are not the same males who are abusing and disrespecting women and children on a regular basis. True chivalry, when ingrained in a boy, serves him throughout life. It provides a sense of satisfaction when he is able to help, please, win their favor, or delight women and children. It also serves as an internalized insurance policy against him becoming an abuser. Men can’t hit women, if taught to be chivalrous in boyhood.

Observe these Italian boys: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2OcKQ_mbiQ and watch to the end.

You saw with the Italian boys how easily a charade can be turned into more safety for females. One simple admission, females are weaker, which enables males to ignore female superiority as long as it remains inadmissible as evidence for females to get their way. It’s easily and best taught in childhood. That’s next as this series grows from two to three installments.

 

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Filed under Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, Feminism: OOPS!