2271. Dark Side of Feminism: The Swamp of Ill-feeling

I aim at the gender level, ladies, so don’t take it personal except the sentence surrounded by asterisks.

The male and female natures inherited at birth have been socialized and domesticated into habits that work contrary to how we are born. Default conditions are ignored because of pressures designed by political activists. I don’t alibi for either sex but blame Feminism to explain how and why compatibility has sunk into the swamp of ill-feeling toward the opposite sex.

Feminists taught women to blame men for female problems. Doing so put women in the role of acting contrary to their nature, contrary to where their heart leads them. *As the direct response, single women soften their natural hard-headedness and married women harden their soft-heartedness.*

Men aren’t as much offended as they are disappointed in females. Men think: I want to cooperate but with all the crap you pull, why should I?

As women go so goes society and we all do what makes us feel good about ourselves; women do it with little regard for how it registers with men. The combination causes men to harden up their hard-headedness and refuse to soften up their natural hard-heartedness. Men are disappointed because they are discouraged from being heroes to the opposite sex, which gives every indication of being in distress but undeserving of masculine help.

Feminism changed all women; it’s now a universal spirit. Women can’t resist being convinced that they deserve better than whatever men produce and provide. They measure men by how men treat them instead of how men measure themselves by what they accomplish. That difference rocks compatibility.

Adopting feminist thought, women don’t or can’t abandon their natural motivational baseline, which bastardizes their motivational drive and produces results that further confuse the female mind, and which earns disrespect in the male mind.

She tries to bond with sex but men don’t. She abandons modesty to be liked and men don’t respect her. She forgoes mystery that fires up the male imagination and favors full disclosure that kills male curiosity. She expects boyfriend to be loyal to her but she doesn’t first earn his respect. She expects husband to be faithful but tries to change him. She builds his castle on fashion and her reputation with women and disregards his desire for a functional recovery and resting place. She weakens his comfort and daily recovery by insisting to keep a perfect appearance within the home. She tortures him with petty requests to do what she can easily do herself. She commands his presence without respecting his other obligations. She doesn’t respect his family but she wants them to do what she expects. She ranks her children over her man and expects him to peacefully play second fiddle to her music score. She ignores her heart by letting others convince her its undependable to protect and promote her interests. She wants to make sure he knows that her needs and wants are more important than his.

By trying to either be more like men or get them to act more like females, women confuse themselves. They are unable to produce the outcomes they long for. Men wish it were otherwise, but modern women are propagandized to listen to women instead of men. It’s more a gender than individual happening; by blaming men, women escape guilt for causing relationship failures. Much as the radical feminists anticipated it five decades ago.

On the other side of the ledger, the male nature stubbornly rejects feminist theory. Men stick to mostly following their nature, which of course is never all that admirable to women. Men learn in life that particular behaviors annoy the heck out of women and—when inclined to please their woman—they avoid the annoyances. However, when blamed, they easily convince themselves that ‘I don’t appreciate what she does, why please her?’, which pushes them back toward their self-centered, hard-headed, and hard-hearted nature.

So, what else is new? He takes me for granted. He never shows enough affection. His job comes before me. He won’t help with housework. He won’t help enough with the kids. He won’t clean or pick up after himself. He’s a slob around the house. He spends our money on his toys. He’s so selfish he doesn’t know the meaning of ‘us’. He wants sex whether I’m ready or not. He never wants to take my family into consideration. He loves our daughter but expects too much from our son. He thinks I should be able to handle a full-time job and housework with no help and no problems. He talks a good game but doesn’t produce when the chips are down.

Those are symptoms of men who don’t care if they annoy their woman or they purposely do it out of some real or imagined spite. Men aren’t that opposed to cooperation unless they want to save face.

Blaming a man shows disrespect and men tire easily of it. They expect to be respected and appreciated and to measure it by her displays of obvious gratitude, which also endorses his likeability to her and her willingness to be loyal to him.

Thus, the pointy finger of blame continues to mock compatibility and flood the already full swamp of ill-feeling toward the opposite sex.

2269. Compatibility Axioms #891-900

891. Nagging doesn’t get more offensive than that which tampers with his sense of sexual significance. [298]

892. Marital longevity shortens under pressure of sexually accessible women outside the home. The sisterhood’s sexual freedom thus devalues marriage. [298]

893. To satisfy their self-centeredness and exercise their will over others, women use conditional love to manipulate their man and raise their children. The effect torments everyone. OTOH, both husbands and children appreciate unconditional love, which they know they don’t deserve. When wife and mother provide it, she earns magnificence beyond what she deserves. [298]

894. The more that women practice masculine-style sexual freedom, the more dedicated becomes the sex-chasing lifestyle of men. Things both marital and domestic lose their allure. [298]

895. Trying to change a man sours his affection for whoever tries. Her pressure for more affection produces the opposite of what she seeks. [298]

896. After split up, she’s the only one qualified to tell her how wrong she may have been. But listening to others tell of things she did right eases her pain. [298]

897. When she abrogates her role as relationship expert, she loses strength for easing his dominance. [299]

898. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Finances—or more accurately for here, squabbles about indebtedness and spending—stimulate break up more than almost anything else.  [301]

899. Marriage vows express devotion to each other. Unplanned, unnecessary, and surprise spending and indebtedness can easily kill such devotion. [301]

900. The continual practice of spending less than income reinforces devotion to each other. Teamwork bonds. [301]

2186. Anorexics, Suicides, et al. — Part 1

We’re all concerned with this subject. What causes teen behaviors identified by the title above plus overdosers, rapists, and mass shooters?

Several new revelations tied together in this series explain how some infants are mistreated, improperly guided as toddlers, and poorly led prior to puberty. The unintentional outcome leads to family disorder, heartbreak, and often tragedy.

Before such unfortunate children turn up to surprise everyone, their behavior is unpredictable or else preventives would work. But preventives have to address main causes, which modern preventive efforts do not. Ignorance prevails but no longer.

The childhood causes are described in this series. It enables preventives to be made part of a child’s upbringing. IOW, insurance against raising kids too far outside the adolescent and adult norms.

Those malformed personalities arise out of four phases of life before adulthood: 1) As a fetus responding to mother’s disrupted emotions. 2) Infant care which is the most critical. 3) Well-intentioned but ineffective parenting. 4) Associating with like-minded people.

I close this opening post with an offense that will scorch the equilibrium of virtually every mother. Details will follow but loving a child to deliberately make him like himself is both ineffective and can be contrary to good self-development. Read that sentence again and focus narrowly on this part: make him like himself. That’s the only issue under discussion here, and the point I intend to prove with a description of how human nature works contrary to that motherly wish and well-intended practice.

Don’t stop loving him for that or any other reason, he needs all you provide. However, by depending on mother’s love too often prevents doing what is necessary to ensure that he likes himself. Moreover, the harder mother tries, the less he may like himself. None of us are convinced we deserve tremendous love when we get it, and children and especially sons realize it too. If we feel we don’t deserve it, we don’t appreciate it all that much. Consequently, it affects our belief system very little if at all.

I can imagine you ladies vigorously shaking your heads, but bear with me. By the time this series ends, you may not be persuaded or change, but you’ll be better informed of some of the unexplained behaviors you see in your own kids.

Part II tomorrow if I can finish it in time.

2169. Chivalry — Recovery is Everything and Overdue

If you read the first post on this subject, #2168, why have we as a culture so readily accepted the intentional murder of chivalry at the hands of feminists? More importantly, how do we recover if the feminists were to let us? Or why should we even try?

I talk much about the character and custom-setting deeds of our forebears and how society’s female-friendly standards shrink. Perhaps chivalry could help right our sinking cultural ship, so I describe the road to recovery.

Chivalry indirectly leads to female happiness in one of life’s cause-and-effect natural phenomena. The process that follows is produced by both sexes following their hearts to live according to the natural condition they inherit at birth. It’s what instinct and intuition lead men and women to do naturally. It contributes greatly to general compatibility that leads respectably to enjoyable mating and indirectly to better fulfillment of girlhood hopes and dreams.

However, the practice has to be taught in childhood. That’s right. Both sexes need to have the benefits of following one’s instincts reinforced. God provides no owner’s manual until old enough to study the Bible. So, parents have to close the gap.

Male Nature:

• Women are born to earn happiness over time. Men are born to earn satisfaction through daily achievements, and chivalry provides significant opportunity for both sexes.
• His actions generate his feelings. A male who practices chivalry develops over time a deeply-rooted belief that he should unconditionally respect females, which includes the desire to give unconditionally, which enables him to eagerly find favor with a female, which energizes him to put his convenience momentarily at the disposal of a female, which makes him feel good about himself, which earns self-admiration, which provides satisfaction that he did the right thing. His chivalrous actions program his heart with those feelings (so long as the process isn’t interrupted by female signals that his effort isn’t welcome, in which case his will power and determination have to say ‘don’t quit’).
• To boy or man brought up to be chivalrous, it becomes a duty. They are automatically responsible for distressed or otherwise discombobulated females. Fulfilling one’s duty is not an event that deserves reward, and men don’t appreciate unearned gifts. Consequently, women don’t know much about rewarding a chivalrous act, even though mere acknowledgement is sufficient when a guy does his duty.
• It’s a hard and fast belief developed in childhood. Teaching boys that females are weaker and, therefore, to be protected makes males feel stronger, which opens the male heart to helping, which opens the door for chivalry, which defines a new duty, which energizes males to earn female favor, which produces a male at her disposal, which makes females feel superior, which puts her in the role of boss, which confirms she’s not the weaker sex, which guys can accept unless it’s verbalized.

Female Nature:

• As you’ve read so often on this blog, women are born to be happy but they have to earn it. It comes from each woman’s gratitude for herself compounded by gratefulness for others in her life. Treated chivalrously, she becomes grateful for who she is and what she deserves, which adds to her sense of self-importance and ability to pass her gratitude on to others.
• Chivalrous actions make a female feel superior. Her heart becomes programmed with respect and gratitude, which makes girls and women more grateful for themselves, which contributes to their happiness. Indirectly, chivalrous men help women find happiness. Also, his actions program her heart with respect and appreciation for males.

However, the foundation of chivalry is a delightful charade based on male eagerness to deceive themselves about females. Men are extremely unwilling to acknowledge any superiority to women; it’s inconsistent with their natural sense of dominance. By focusing solely on physical abilities and calling females the weaker sex, men can ‘prove’ to themselves that any superiority attached to the female gender is inconsequential. Chivalry confirms the weakness of one sex, which strokes the ego of men, and lifts any burden from men to admit otherwise. That’s the female-friendly charade that men develop to win female favor, but also to protect their own sense of significance.

Which begs the question, isn’t Feminism designed to highlight the superiority of women? Sure, but it doesn’t work except with the power of government imposed for legal, political, and economic advancements that become toxic when brought into both social and domestic relationships by well-meaning women with unrealistic expectations.

History proves the sexes can live compatibly. Men can’t and won’t do so when women impose their superiority to get their way. Either women keep their superior nature to themselves and avoid reminding men that it even exists, or men resent, resist, and often retaliate. To admit women are superior is to admit manly insignificance, which by nature is a man’s greatest fear that ranks with her fear of abandonment, which is what he does when she goes too far.

I submit that men or boys who are raised to be chivalrous, are not the same males who are abusing and disrespecting women and children on a regular basis. True chivalry, when ingrained in a boy, serves him throughout life. It provides a sense of satisfaction when he is able to help, please, win their favor, or delight women and children. It also serves as an internalized insurance policy against him becoming an abuser. Men can’t hit women, if taught to be chivalrous in boyhood.

Observe these Italian boys: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2OcKQ_mbiQ and watch to the end.

You saw with the Italian boys how easily a charade can be turned into more safety for females. One simple admission, females are weaker, which enables males to ignore female superiority as long as it remains inadmissible as evidence for females to get their way. It’s easily and best taught in childhood. That’s next as this series grows from two to three installments.

 

2156. Dating in Mid-life — Part A1: Put Children Aside for Now

Being too conscientious as single mother is your greatest obstacle to successful dating in mid-life. Your biggest badge of honor is complete dedication and sacrifice to your children, and you moms with one child have it in spades. If you can’t ease up on that single-minded, self-induced, and no longer essential pressure in your life, you’ll never be able to add and successfully merge a new man into your family. If you don’t deserve your own life relative to your children, how can you ever be worthy of a man or deserve your own life with a new husband?

The prospect of family conflict is daunting. No question of that. But resolution is simple. You have to decide. Not who’s the most important in your life, husband or children? But how do you merge their interests into an integral family and harmonized home? If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you’re right.

You know your children and how to handle them. You’ve spent years learning just what they need, want, and can take without breaking. If you can’t convince them that you deserve the attention and affection that they’ve gotten from you for so many years, or if your guilt won’t let you ease up the pressures you put on yourself, then you have no business even considering entering the dating arena.

Sorry, but I was trained in mid-life to be up front, blunt, and candid when high pressure subjects come up. My hard-nose attitude reflected above is based on one irrevocable principle that floats unshakably in the male mind. Husbands will not play second fiddle to children, even their own and much less someone else’s. And they won’t play second fiddle to their wives except for those husbands full of devotion for their own.

It doesn’t mean that women with kids can’t have a new husband. It means that she must use her greatest relationship expertise every day to keep both kids and new date/boyfriend/fiancé/husband convinced that they rank as first priority in her heart. Mothers do it carefully and endlessly with kids. Why not throw someone else in the mix if she can be rewarded by someone other than herself?

I’ve always admired Her Majesty Grace’s success with our three boys. When alone with each, she referred to them as her oldest and most precious, her middlest and most precious, and her youngest and most precious. It worked beautifully for her. They were in mid-life before they learned they were loved more equally than they thought. It added to their regard for each other, because each saw how their mom more highly regarded his brothers.

Hold off the family uproar until you discover if you really want to date. If you really want to face what I shall describe in this series. Not discouragements but encouragements, although you may not see things exactly as I do.

I can’t do it now, but I shall put together an article on how to help handle children better. In the meantime, I think you should forget the impact of your entering the dating arena will have on them. Do what you think is best for yourself while considering how you want to possibly change your life. They will not be forever in the nest, and everything else shall pass as you think and perhaps manage your way into a new way of life.

I admire your courage if you enter the dating scene. I admire your character if you do it in spite of what your children wish. I admire your readership if you argue back with me. I admire your spunk if you learn to make men uncomfortable and thus earn their respect.

As for masculine discomfort, up front, blunt, and candid can pay off with manly respect. For example, I love this motto when you’re approached uninvited and unwanted: No ring, no booty. Still interested?

For tomorrow: 2157—You Gotta’ Know the Territory

 

2152. Push Husband Out, It’s Easy

Her Highness Mia inquired about clarity on minor subjects, but it prompted me to rant. Nothing she did or said. Just me reminding myself. So, she and you can take yourself personally out of what follows. No accusations aimed your way. However, some of it applies to women everywhere just to the extent they find something of interest to do or undo.

Pointed at all women, the writing just comes better in second person, you, and hopefully reads more interestingly that way.

It doesn’t matter if cheating husband’s other woman is perfect partner or not. If he sought her out, it means you’re not the perfect partner he thought he married. You were the love of his life. So what fractured, shattered, or crumbled his love into nothing with any loyalty left for you? It’s not even a shadow of what left the altar.

I’ve preached it for several years. Positive and affirming emotions such as love and respect do not hold marriages together. Not as much as negative emotions rip marriages apart. Such as a continual bombardment of irritants, criticism implied or stated, and mini-failures to close the gaps of emotional differences. In short, the lack of relationship expertise that recognizes little nods of negative connection and finds ways to abolish them.

Counselors and advisors advise continually on what to do to please your partner. It may help a little but it’s not the answer for marital success. Your time is better spent avoiding what ticks off your partner or spouse. Stop kicking him and kick yourself.

When a husband takes up with another woman, he’s at fault. No way to justify it. However, we can examine his motivational background.

His love depends on his respect for you, so how did you undermine it? Nag? Criticize? Withhold sex? Enable him to feel inadequate in bed? Blame him? Point out his shortcomings? ID his faults? Treat him as uninteresting? Talk endlessly about things of no interest to him? Feed him what you like instead of what he likes? Get up grouchy in the morning? Nag? Do little to please him but expect him to please you continuously? Act grouchy after work? Have too many headaches at night? Refuse to entertain his friends? Resent his hobbies or habits that take him away from you? Dislike yourself and too lazy to do something about it? Forget who you were that attracted him to you? Plan to return to your natural personality once you hooked him? Always act sick with little reason? Manipulate him? Never smile at him? Fail to confirm his importance in your life? Never try to please him for the pleasure it gives you? Keep alive your own negative attitude? Fail to show gratitude for what he does? Fail to show your dependence on who he is? Complain to girlfriends about him? Expose his foibles to others? Show disdain for him in public? Embarrass him? Whine endlessly about all your problems? Fail to teach the kids that dad ranks higher in the pecking order than they do? Fail to grant him the status of family leader? Nag? Spend too much money with the false expectation you will like yourself better? Expect him to make you feel better about yourself? Disturb him unnecessarily at his job? Express complaints about him in front of the kids? Overeat as if you deserve it to feel better about yourself? Fail to acknowledge your secondary role in family matters (as he sees it, darling, not as you suppose it should be)? Fail to step up to your responsibilities for harmony in the home? Fail to use your relationship expertise to generate harmony between the two of you?

Change your habits/personality/behavior from the woman he married? Refer to him minor problems with kids that you could solve if you weren’t fearful the kids would dislike you? Find less interest in him than other people and things outside the home? Fail to read and understand just what goes through his mind during both good and bad relationship incidents? Fail to help him recover from his mistakes and self-caused accidents? Disagree with each other in front of the children? Fail to reward him for special tasks that please you? Overdo pillow talk with irrelevant or unimportant issues? Resent his frustrated sense of independence? Find ways to shame him? Use too many words, rather than silence-that-informs, to plead your case that he upset you? Nag? Resent his rest and recreation with TV and beer immediately after work? Fail to show faith in his judgment when he’s intent on doing things his way (e.g., not asking for directions). Elevate your job as more important than his? Fail to trust him. Resent his earning satisfaction daily at his job while happiness comes to you after years of striving? Disrespect men generally and it leaks over onto him?

You see, I enumerated many ways that you could and perhaps still do that disappoint him. If he provides any feedback, you ignore it. In any event, before he met you at the altar he expected none of the above or he would have left you standing by yourself. Now he takes it out on you. He resents, resists, and eventually retaliates on some simple thread the camel’s back could not carry.

Men are not inclined to stay married to women who are not the same one they married. Some men do it by sneaking off to cheat first. Others let their woman’s surprises turn them into abusers. Still others just walk out. Finally, a few hang around having had their masculine courage smashed into apathy; they prefer the certainty of misery to the uncertainty of change, which then reverses the game by costing them your respect.

Men follow inspiring female leadership in relationships. When will relationship experts learn to lead men respectfully in ways that men accept with dignity and gratefulness? Learn to make themselves more important by making themselves less obvious, less intent on being completely understood, less convinced that only they know what’s proper, and less convinced that micro-management will improve their marriage?

The pinkie finger article is aimed at highlighting your upsets and leaving unstated what you expect out of him. It dumps your displeasure in his lap to do with as he pleases, which gently and without accusing flips his ‘Uh Oh’ switch to read: ‘I probably should not do it that way again’. Self-correction is a much more agreeable meal for him to digest, which makes you as the relationship pinkie-waving ‘cook’ look much more dependable, friendlier, and likeable. He can easily learn that he wants to remain closer to you rather than another.

NOTE: More reasons to justify use of the pinkie will be disclosed in a day or two. If you have reasons, feed them to me and thanks for doing so.

 

2148. Recovery from A.D.D.

They are born this way. Women have affection deficit disorder. Men have affection delivery disorder. The hearts and minds of the superior sex, aka the irresistible force, are blessed with the patience and temperament to move the dominant sex, aka the immovable object, and cure A.D.D.

Her Highness Beloved at 2147 asked: “So how do you train him to be affectionate?” The subject has universal appeal, so I shifted my response to this article. You ladies probably have developed better and more enchanting techniques, but here goes my suggestion.

First, your mission. Encourage your man to expand his actions that express his love to include more and better displays of affection, and do all that in order to more pleasingly light up and make the love of his life to shine in his favor and face.

Encouragement always excludes blame, faultfinding, criticism, and displays of disappointment. So, the mission calls for suppression of your negative feelings about the subject of affection and perhaps other subjects. Everything is relative, recovery is everything, and so recovery is also relative as to what will come out of your effort.

Second, don’t complain about him and don’t explain yourself. Also, don’t get angry or frustrated when your expectations are not met. Be patient and rely on your heart rather than just your mind. Forming a new habit takes many events over time; 90 days is not unusual. And men do best when they learn to do what they figure out is best for them.

Third, find numerous ways to interact with him pleasantly and perhaps even silently to convey what you expect out of him. I suggest hints, suggestions, and a seed planting campaign such as the following. A few times a day may not be too much early in marriage but might be too much early in courtship. If you’ve been married awhile, move slowly. Don’t be obvious; it causes suspicion about your motivation.

• Interrupt what you do daily to interact eye-to-eye with him in ways that he appreciates. Just ‘howdy’ smiles to show your appreciation for his presence. Silent displays of your affection register powerfully with a man, but they don’t draw immediate and similar responses. Your affection confirms that all is well, so he need not contribute. He does that regularly in his daily actions of being with you and providing/protecting—or so his nature guides him.
• Remember, men don’t appreciate interruptions when they are doing complicated things, such as reading the newspaper and watching TV. You should catch him between events. Female smoothness can add sugar to carry interruptions in your favor, but don’t make it too sweet. It generates suspicion about motivation, which is ‘ungood’.
• When asked to do something and before you do it, ask, “Do I deserve some encouragement? Would you turn me loose to do such a humongous thing, make such a gigantic effort, without so much as a smooch? Hug? Promise?” (Make him laugh and feel good about himself.)
• After you’ve done something that he asked or you did something to please him, then confirm your enjoyment of him and inquire with a huge smile: “Do I get/deserve/have I earned special treatment? My buns drag and no one wants to give me a lift? You have any ideas for a pick me up? No, a pat on the buns isn’t enough.”
• When he does something to please you or you need some attention. Highlight your attractiveness as he likes to see you, smile charmingly, and wave gently with both hands pointed upward and friendly for him to come near. (I like the idea of making it a ritual before you head for the bedroom at night.) At first you may have to close the last few inches of the gap for physical contact, but he will finally figure out what you want and see eventually that you need it. Find ways to reward him for showing whatever affection he displays to please you. The object is to convert his thoughts to pleasing himself for pleasing you and to make it habitual.
• Exploit his departure for work just as you send children off to school. Make it pleasant but include kiss and push for a hug. If you don’t have the time because of your schedule, improve your schedule to ensure you pay faithful attention to your craving for affection.
• But be alert to his reactions. You’ll figure it out if you go too far or too much, so teach yourself to also pull back in those cases. Go slower, gentler, and less deserving but get what you are after, but which is so difficult to pull out of his contrary nature.
• Patiently connect mutual thinking together with this thought. He may not but you do expect displays of affection to be shown both visually and physically. It’s your fruit from his tree of devotion. You do all manner of things to fertilize his tree, and you expect the fruit to fall rather than be plucked or bought. Fruit more freely given wraps your heart in foil impenetrable by and for anyone else. He needs to know that but should learn it indirectly; i.e., he figures it out rather than being told directly.

When he figures out that showing affection is his duty, it will become habit. But be aware, he may never be as affectionate as you like. If he isn’t, you probably have to live with whatever progress he has made. Don’t change your habits of encouraging him for more, but expect that you will have to do the hinting and suggesting forever.

The most admirable quality in a man is the spreading of his affection to the one that admires him and his affection the most. He needs to learn that. It’s a tough teaching job even for relationship experts. Men just don’t want to disclose their feelings when their actions are so loud—but only to them.

You relationship experts need to reinforce this thought in your heart of hearts. You expect your man to deliver what is not in his nature to expose, that is, how he feels. His actions convey his feelings, or at least all he wants to expose. All progress is great progress and some may have to be enough. His nature resists more extensive displays of his feelings, once he has admitted that you were right at needing—and now getting—more affection. In his heart of hearts, he’s done enough. You’ll just have to get along with that. So, color yourself blessed to the extent that he thinks displaying his affection is his duty.

That’s my suggestion for working on a cure for A.D.D.

2137. RANDOM THOUGHTS—Group 97

• Modern women betray their best interests. They abandon their greatest strengths dealing with males: mystery, modesty, morality, manners, meekness, marriage, monogamy, mothering, and a self-imposed and unique majesty that commands respect from males. The fallout spreads across society and men assume greater dominion over women and their home together.
• Feminism encourages men to spread their seed. Femininity rewards men for hoarding it.
• Confused but ever alert for another conquest, men watch as females of all ages deal unsuccessfully with their mates. As relationships crumble, men exploit the females dumped into the pool of those so desperate to recover they are easy to conquer.
• If a man is to compete energetically for one woman to keep for a lifetime, women must have something of greater value than just genitalia.
  Since all women have that in common, he’s lured by other rewards than just sex for husbanding and fathering.
• Feminism expects men to suppress their masculine instincts and still please women. Femininity expects men to use their masculine instincts to prove themselves worthy of women, children, and family life.
• Women seek to change their world but do not listen to men. They learn by listening only to women. Consequently, what women know about men is often wrong.
• Men see things like this. Things don’t change satisfactorily unless men change them or have them changed.
• Men don’t look for flaws in the woman they marry. Her qualities outweigh her shortcomings, so that’s good enough. Women are opposite. His flaws are both correctable and his being good enough depends on his qualities enabling her to work on his flaws. Consequently, men marry a good woman and expect her to remain good for him. Therefore, he’s blameless if she changes. Women marry a man with flaws correctable by her and expecting to make him better for her. She earns the blame if he turns out different than she expects. Out of that arises the foreigner in their relationship, undeserved blame for the other. Blame and compatibility are already mutually exclusive, and undeserved blame makes it toxic.