2236. Your Heart Says This About Men — Part V

Editor’s Note: Viewed from my end, you ladies are not very involved with this series. But I post it to complete the series and make way for tomorrow’s subject about the superior gender.

Don’t you for the most part see men this way?

31. Trying to impose guilt on a man works against me. They won’t accept what I call guilt except from themselves (self-criticism) and even then they fix whatever ‘is broke’ or they forget it.

32. Even when he’s wrong, having to explain himself is contrary to his self-respect.

33. Decisions men make are like promises, and they don’t break promises to themselves. Perhaps to someone else but usually not to self.

34. Self-respect and self-assurance of their rightness enable men to resist criticism.

35. Men are instinctively energized to conquer attractive women. I can neither understand it, accept it, nor live with it, but I have to try my best.

36. Men value virginity out of proportion to its value; they can’t be that dumb but they sure seem to be.

37. Men are dedicated to the task at hand: work, study, rest, reading, relaxation, recovery, responsibility, fun, games, or whatever. Interruptions are unwelcome.

38. He’s both capable and self-centered enough to take care of himself, which enables but doesn’t recruit him to help others.

39. Men are fairly easy to understand until their words don’t match their actions.

40. Men can sit and do absolutely nothing. They claim to be thinking but productive evidence is lacking to me.

41. A strong masculine presence can calm fears that often arise in me.

42. Men are independent, benefit from a good woman alongside, but go out of their way to keep it to themselves.

43. Men have a strong and resilient character that is compatible with a woman’s strong and resilient spirit.

44. I will never understand the males’ mentality of wham, bam, thank you ma’am. I bond through sex, why not men?

45. Men are more easily respected than trusted but my unconditional trust earns more of their respect for me.

Those conclusions about men seem prominent in the female heart. They are connected to the ‘be good’ prime root that goes back to the Garden of Eden, which comes up in the next series tomorrow.

2172. Mid-life Dating — C7: Her Sexual Past

NOTE: During proof reading this sounded like an alibi for men. Not intended. I labor for truth and clarity and hope my writing confirms each.

Men don’t respect others until they earn it. Women lay the foundation for earning  masculine respect through usage of their sexual assets.

The male psyche is guided, albeit unattractively to women, by this conviction. Respect for females begins with respect for how they handle their sexual assets. It’s not the only but most important female behavior that impacts respect early in relationships.

The conviction is stimulated by the male primal drive to compete with Nature and men and to shape human events. Every discouraged conquest means a competitor failed, which adds respect for her. Every conquest means a competitor succeeded, which reduces respect for her. Marriage provides the only exception, because a husband earns his conquest; it wasn’t given to him.

The fewer her experiences and closer to virginity, the more respect is due a woman. His sense of significance is partially based on his ability and success of beating out his competitors for conquest or nearest thing to it. Men mostly fear insignificance. Discovering their woman to have been promiscuous activates those fears, and spikes his interest in restoring his significance, which could be at considerable cost to her.

Consequently, men have an insatiable appetite to know their woman’s sexual past. However, the more details they hear about, the more details they want. It becomes ‘not enough’ once she starts to reveal her history. As she describes whoever and whatever preceded him, his curiosity grows to determine how many, meaningful, lovingly, and legal were her experiences.

He’s really in pursuit—however clouded by disguised intentions—of how his performance ranks in her mind and heart relative to his predecessors. He starts from the conviction that he’s by far the best lover, and so every revelation of hers that enables him to think otherwise sinks their marital ship just a little deeper in the waters of separation. A man can’t live very long with the thought that his woman thinks more of another man’s sexual abilities. He can even be jealous of a dead husband.

Modern women have had enough sex partners that it clouds future relationships. A woman’s next man wants certain reassurances that flow from knowledge about her past. She may provide it, she may withhold it, or he may find out from others.

Political activists and political correctioneers declare it unfair. Her sexual history is none of his business. However, modern sex practices change the dynamic of what’s best for each woman with each man.

Her man wants to know her past. He knows she’s been active. So, he probes until she reveals the details. Even counselors preach mutual candidness. That does not make it good, only acceptable to continue whatever relationship they have.

Advantage accrues to her, if she can keep her sexual history secret or as nearly so as possible. The less he knows, the less he can judge her in jealous or other incidents. The fewer the details, the fewer the thoughts that energize more inquiry. The less he knows, the less he can use against her in future squabbles.

The more he knows, the more likely he will make her pay some price for her past. She may never know or understand what’s happening. Yet, her man may strike back because of her earlier sexual events. It takes very little for reminders of her past to grow into self-generated humiliation for him. Her history affects his sense of significance, whether she knows it or not, accepts it or not. And he’s always eager to restore any loss to his sense of significance; saving face, as it were, by blaming her. 

 

2112. Conviction Redefined

I’ve undergone a change in my thinking. I’ve been touting that men want to marry a virtuous woman. Refreshing my thinking, I think that applied in old school. Modern men want to marry a fascinating woman. But only the name has changed, because virginity has been downgraded from virtue, which made all virtue unimportant to think about.

Virtuous and fascinating effectively mean the same thing to a man. He sees admirable qualities within a woman and each becomes a virtue to him although he doesn’t name it that way; she just is. As he perceives more qualities and learns to admire them, virtues accumulate. Her admirable qualities fire his imagination and confirm her likeability; he finds satisfaction with himself in her company.

Instead of him thinking of her in virtuous terms, he thinks of her as fascinating enough to devote himself to pleasing her regularly. It sets the hook for a trip to the altar. But he still has to perceive significant promise for her to improve his present life and help fulfill his ambitions and goals. All that before he hooks himself by proposing and then falls in line with what she and her mother plan for the wedding.

 

2039. Old School Movie: The Moon is Blue

Attention, Ladies,

I was recently captivated by an old school movie I’d never seen. The producer must have caught the censors napping. It’s much unlike other flicks from 1953. Not dirty but virginity is discussed, and it seems mild by today’s standards.

Darling of a fictional heroine, never-famous Maggie McNamara is given a superlative role and plays it beautifully. Heavyweight casting against her. She’s up against William Holden and David Niven in The Moon is Blue.

Her directness works very well in the movie; it’s entertaining. But in real life, I don’t think women could get by with it. I don’t suggest her character as role model, but recommend the movie just to enjoy an unusual story told very well about a different kind of woman.

I couldn’t find it on Netflix but didn’t look elsewhere.

Guy

 

1981. Compatibility Axioms #421-430

421. Husband may forgive, but he can’t forget. Feminists claim that women need no forgiveness for previous love and sex interests. But, to men, it’s neither love nor forgiveness that counts. It’s her screwing other men, bending to the will of his competitors, and who knows when she may do it again? [145]
422. Her sexual history is best kept secret. In any event, she should never disclose any detail. The first detail will ignite his curiosity for more, followed by his imagining the worst about everything she does not disclose. He will likely pump her for more info, or resentment will accumulate within his ever-active imagination. (Resentment can kill the likeability that is so critical to compatibility.) [145]
423. Females learn the most and best lessons by insisting on retaining virginity, both real and virtual. Keepers don’t dump a woman over that. If he won’t honor her wishes before conquest, he’ll do worse afterward. [147]
424. He strives to get her to yield sex. She seeks his acceptance of something more important. The battle of the sexes revolves around the subsequent battle of wits and wills. It takes a lengthy, likeable, and complimentary courtship to convert him to her way of thinking. [147]
425. She’s of high interest to him. Her insistence on remaining virgin-like injects and stirs uneasiness and uncertainty into his manly desire. It pressures him into the passenger seat of their relationship. He tries harder to earn the driver’s seat by proving himself worthy and acceptable for sex. If he still can’t earn acceptance into the driver’s seat by conquering her, he either hops out of the car or accepts whatever greater ‘price’ she expects. [147]
426. If she doesn’t yield and he dumps her anywhere along the courtship trail, she escapes with a higher sense of self-worth. He was not a keeper, and she found it out without losing the battle of wills. [147]
427. Her refusals to yield earn a man’s maximum respect. Men respect will power and hers tops his best will and effort. [147]
428. If he dumps her for not yielding, she earns the maximum self-respect regardless of what he says to the contrary. It’s also good practice for her. [147]
429. Mr. Good Enough’s love will be based on respect for her. The greater her self-respect, the greater her ability to sustain his respect. [147]
430. Her gentle but firm refusals to yield indirectly tame his masculine ego and condition his dominant nature to accept her as a power to be reckoned with. It brightens her future, polishes her self-image, enhances her self-interest, and promises more worthiness as his potential mate. Thus, women move closer to their dreams and goals by protecting their real and virtual virginity. [147]

 

1980. Compatibility Axioms #410-420

411. Using sex to capture a boyfriend is easy. Sex infatuates boys, but it does not bond men. Thus, unmarried sex paves the road to ex-girlfriend, -lover, -live in, or -wife. [143]
412. Women have no greater direct influence on their own personal world than when they refuse to provide unmarried sex. Yielding weakens their influence and determination and it enhances the guys’ dominating spirits. [143]
413. Women have two major windows in which they can by design change their man: A long courtship before they first have sex and years later in marriage after Nature softens his heart. Both periods, however, require patience, indirectness, and feminine charm. [143]
414. Women reject a long and chaste courtship. They prefer the joys of sex—or to have a boyfriend. They bypass the opportunity to make sure he’s Mr. Good Enough with potential for Mr. Right after a couple of decades of marriage. Taking the road of sex instead of opportunity, she feels greater pressure to ‘fix his faults’ soon after they marry, It’s a sure-fire way to push him toward other arms. [143]
415. Women want to change their man after marriage but find that they can’t. The male nature resists her pressures to change, except as a woman delays his premarital conquest and stimulates him to more deliberately earn her. As he explores her for weaknesses that may lead them to bed, he uncovers and admires other qualities. Admired qualities become virtues, which morph into fascination that holds his interest in her. [143]
416. A long sex-free courtship resolves uncertainty about a man’s character and potential for successful marriage. Most men reveal their true character when facing a woman’s hard-headed and continuing delays for their first sex together. But, women are in charge of courtship only as long as it remains platonic (although men easily yield wedding prep control). [143]
417. A simple test of a man’s devotion: With his actions, he honors her interest ahead of his own. If, however, he continually pleases her at the expense of his manly dreams or obligations, she will lose respect for him and he will eventually become dumper or dumpee. [143]
418. Spill her guts and end up in ruts. Her status regarding virginity and details about her love life are personal and, if known to her man, will likely be used against her sometime, someplace, somehow when she least expects it. [145]
419. Knowing her sexual history, suspicion sprouts from her man’s imagination when future troubles plague their relationship. She may not even recognize it, because the questions and consequences arise in his mind. As Einstein said: Imagination is greater than knowledge. [145]
420. Husband may run into one of her former love interests. What to do? How to avoid? Will he know for sure? How was their sex? What does the other guy think about the woman he passed on to husband? Is she still interested in the ex? Competitors want to know such things. [145]

1241. RANDOM THOUGHTS—Group 38

• Men appreciate female virtue and women appreciate masculine character as most promising for a good life together. Virginity ranks highest and near-virginity ranks next on the virtue scale. Personal responsibility ranks highest on the character scale.
• Men are the bricks of society and women are the mortar. Bricks don’t weep, but mortar often does. Socially conditioning boys to cry weakens them as adult bricks. The mortar hardens automatically to compensate, and confusion follows when relationship strains and stresses arrive.
• She does not love being a female, but she expects to keep one man around. Nature places heavy odds against it happening.
• Managers tell people HOW to do their job. Leaders tell people WHAT to do. When leaders can’t distinguish between their two roles and act accordingly, they generate poor morale.
• Women like men to open doors for them to enter first. A man’s good character shines brighter when he holds open doors and displays other courtesies for all females.
• Don’t be so quick to want rules about flirting and other male-female interactions. Rules bypass individual natures and turn people toward phoniness. Not good for making relationships last.
• Necessity is the mother of invention. Frustration is the father of both invention and all cuss words.

747. RANDOM THOUGHTS — Group 10

• When women don’t appreciate and highlight manly courtesies, men grow indifferent to qualities that females like to see in men.
• If she doesn’t like herself very well, men over time have difficulty liking her.
• Her neatness captures his attention as prelude for displays of affection. Female sloppiness short-circuits the connection. 
• Raised without a father figure in their home, immodesty and immorality among girls should be excused out of ignorance. Mom’s lessons don’t impact clearly without girls seeing dad’s daily reactions, standards, and dictums.  
• The ultimate power of virginity lies with unconditionally forgiving masculine attempts to conquer it. It keeps men trying and enables her to screen more discreetly. Once the virgin yields, the power to resist new conquerors wanes but can be effectively restored with virtual virginity, by prioritizing thoughts above emotions.
• Modern day politics and feminist theory persuade females that males are undeserving of female respect. Consequently, men operate as if one woman will not maintain a home to his satisfaction, another will. Or, he can do it himself in the interim.

• Attention mothers of teenagers: A new study is out about bingeing both sex and drink in college coed dorms. Some details are at:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20091117/sc_livescience/nosurprisecoeddormsfuelsexanddrinking