2170. Chivalry — Wherefore Art Thou?

We need to teach children there is no shame in acting chivalrous, and no shame in girls welcoming and appreciating a chivalrous boy. Why wouldn’t a girl or woman, for example, love and appreciate that her male friend or potential suitor fixed a flat bicycle tire for her?

Parents should teach sons to NEVER stop acting chivalrous, no matter how many figurative slaps to the face they receive. Teach each boy to never stop trying to be the one who is first to help the damsel in distress, first to pay a compliment about a girl’s appearance, first to open a door for her, first to brave up to bullies on her behalf, first to put down boys that demean her, and first to ignore the taunts of boys for paying chivalrous tribute to girls.

And parents should teach little girls to pleasantly accept kindness every time it comes their way. It’s a blessing when males extend the chivalrous hand of help or friendliness that lacks sexual overtures. It doesn’t need to happen; males have other things to do, other and easier ways to earn self-admiration and respect. OTOH, the chivalrous boy CHOOSES to give unconditionally and make something come out to some female’s favor. Just the attitude of chivalry in the hearts of boys is sufficient to uplift the worthiness of females after both pass into adulthood.

As one of the most important character traits, parents should teach that no shame attaches to chivalry, even if and when females denigrate offers or the deliverer of help. It happens because of unwillingness in the modern pop culture to accept being called the weaker sex. Yet, accepting that pretense produces guys putting themselves at the disposal of women. However momentarily it may be, a chivalrous act confirms unconditional respect, unconditional willingness to please, and eagerness to earn female favor. It may be duty to him, but he acknowledges with action her self-worth in his world. It’s the beginning of mutual respect.

Our present-day pop culture continues to become more unfriendly for females.  It’s a small factor, but disclaiming being the weaker sex fuels the female ego contrary to the best interest of women and the natural propensity of men to win their favor. Yet, feminists and their followers continue to demean men and boys, which causes other women to miss the good old days of chivalry that so boldly confirms females as important.

Women feel awkward when faced with chivalry. They have little confidence. Some think they don’t deserve it, others wonder how they can adequately express their gratitude.

A ‘thank you’ is fine but it means little to men. Words just aren’t that meaningful to men; actions are. Women should provide more encouragement; they can reach a man’s heart with an action statement of admiration. Such as, ‘Men are never more handsome than when they please a lady.’ Or, ‘Wow, who taught you to be such a pleasant gentleman’? Or, ‘I measure a person by their deeds, and you make your deeds special.’ Note that each statement praises indirectly; nothing direct enough to be taken as a hit even so much as ‘You’re likeable.’

He’s admired and that makes her gratitude meaningful to men. Such admiring remarks are significant. But at least some acknowledgement must be paid by women. No recognition of chivalrous action shames the woman as ungrateful.

If we ever restore chivalry to society, women have to do it starting with boys and girls and blending it in over future generations. It’s amazing how the principles and practices of chivalry please both sexes with the other.

Tomorrow we return to dating in mid-life.

 

2104. Will You Respect Me in the Morning?

Sir Eric at 2101 pondered life this way. “This is something I’ve never quite understood: I can’t imagine having sex with any woman I didn’t at least value in some way. It would seem actually to work the opposite way: a woman giving sex to a given man should, in theory, increase his respect for her.

What you say makes you a better man. It has significant appeal to women, and they seem to even shape their lives around that idea. Doing so, however, is flawed.

You probably learned such respectful values growing up; mother or other women taught you. You benefited from old school teachings. It used to be that way and girls knew to capitalize and complete the process to the advantage of females and children. Mothers tamed boys, girls guided teens toward marriage, and wives domesticated husbands for harmony in the home. It aimed at teaching males to respect females by females earning it.

Men don’t need to respect a woman to bed her. How often are you aware of men jumping into bed after taking only a short time to determine how respectable much less respected the women are?

Unless a man is taught in his youth to unconditionally respect women as unique and very different and very respectable creatures, it takes time for him to learn to respect each one. It’s the main disqualifier of masculine-style sexual freedom for women; they don’t earn the respect of men or each man they bed. Yielding sex does not earn masculine respect; in fact, cheap and easy conquest awards her disrespect. Moreover, if she’s easy for him, then she’s not respectable enough to be faithful to him. If the man has not paid his supreme sacrifice, namely yielding his independence on her behalf, she’s shortchanged of his respect.

The nature of man works like this. Men have two very differently motivated sex drives. The first is to conquer attractive women, That primal urge quits for each conquered woman but remains active for others. The second is the normal physiological and psychological urge that women know so well.

To conquerors, the vanquished earn as much respect as they are difficult to conquer; the higher her price, the more respect she earns. It’s not sex that earns respect, it’s her character that controls access to her sexual assets.

Having given up her most prized possession to him in their first sex together, he views her very differently and she’s easily disposable, candidate for booty, or a keeper for another reason. The other reason is respect based on her qualities other than sex. Qualities he can admire as virtues.

As to their subsequent sex, it’s routine because he as conqueror ‘owns’ the ‘right’. He may learn to like and enjoy it and it may entitle her to a great position in his life, but any additional respect that she accumulates comes from other than their sex together.

Female genitalia does not earn loyalty. However, it’s potential for loyalty can be realized, and she is born with the ability and talent. She lures without conquest in ways that produce devotion to her based on virtues that idealize her promise as his ‘support system’ to fulfill his life’s ambitions. IOW, a long chaste courtship which she arranges and manages in order to brighten her future by showing the promise to strengthen his life. As her virtues accumulate in his mind, his respect grows.

Eric’s standard is admirable. While it may not be rare, women are making it more so with masculine-style sexual freedom. Maximum respect of females is mutually exclusive with unmarried sex.

 

2097. Compatibility Axioms #521-530

521. Sexually active women highly value hunks for looks, which causes them to capture men poor for keeping. Experience with many sex partners—easy for hunks—weakens a man’s spirit for devoting himself to one woman. Each score leaches out of him a little respect for female self-protectiveness and regard for a woman’s interest. [191]
522. It’s social custom especially regarding sex. Each new generation of females works harder to duplicate males. Females initiate everything more and more, but males retain the leadership role. They help females lower female-friendly values, standards, and expectations and to demean themselves just to please males. (And a new generation emerges with different values about every six or seven years.) [191]
523. Women act and try to date like guys. They accept ‘whatever’ to keep a relationship going. They try to participate and enjoy masculine fun and games. They let desire to not offend a man override their nature—for example, tolerate embarrassment that offends a woman’s natural modesty. Her value as any man’s keeper weakens from not standing up for herself better if at all. [191]
524. Girls and women adopt masculine-style sexual freedom. Females devalue virginity. Girls ditch it, and mothers don’t try hard to prevent its loss to make their girls more popular. Women think of themselves as sexually adventurous. They dismiss chastity that makes males try harder, that earns masculine respect, that primes men to devote to one woman. [191]
525. To demonstrate their independence from men, women reject feminine virtue, duplicate masculine behavior, and even demo baser behaviors in public. By acting more like men, women hope to be more appealing. In fact, successful relationships revolve around differences between the sexes that couples reduce to compatibility. [191]
526. If women refuse to honor the male gender as more worthy than the female gender, they kill what it takes for men to respect women as more worthy than men. It’s far more attitude than fact, appreciation than trust, approximation than precision. Caution: The reverse never happens, because men don’t respect women that portray no gender uniqueness. [196]
527. Feminists believe that male and female infidelity are the same and equal. Not so. He cheats, and she breaks down emotionally and seeks outside help. She cheats, and his sense of significance plummets. This makes her obsolete. He maneuvers to be rid of her—sometimes harshly or violently. Of course it’s not fair, but men aren’t females regardless of how feminists hope to change them. [196]
528. Men bond with a woman and strengthen family responsibility by making themselves useful and proving their worth as rescuers, protectors, providers, problem solvers. But his woman’s insistence on her independence turns him toward escapism in big toys, expensive adventures, irresponsibility, females. To the degree he’s not needed, he’s free and looks to have pleasure. [196]
529. Mothers imply it. We all tend to become like those with whom we associate. Feminists for three decades claimed men to be selfish lovers, inadequate mates, and poor responders to female needs. Now, women accuse men of being irresponsible lovers, mates, fathers, and family men. They also claim that men are ignorant of female needs, wants, hopes, dreams, and relationship-building. ♫ Ta da ♫ Men no longer make good husbands. Just as feminists claimed. [196]
530. Feminism makes the worth of men decline in female eyes. Consequently, the reverse happens too. Women receive less respectful, harsher, and even abusive treatment and then try to compensate with cheap and easy sex to satisfy men into being more reliable at helping fulfill women’s needs. It doesn’t work very long for a woman. Or does it? [196]

659. Quips from Mrs. Guy — #2

• Happy moments, praise God
  Difficult moments, seek God
  Quiet moments, worship God
  Painful moments, trust God
  Every moment, thank God  (source unknown)
• Dorothy Parker had it wrong: Men DO make passes at girls who wear glasses.
• Home is where you grumble the most and are treated the best.
• A wife is a reflection of her husband.
• We became ‘rich’ when I learned to live within a budget, but that’s another story.
• Fail to plan and you plan to fail. Budgeting is planning that prevents having to say, “The check’s in the mail”.
• Women take offense when referred to as a girl, but it implies she’s younger than reality.
• Necessity may be the mother of invention, but frustration is the father.
• Mature men respect ladies and girls more than just women. Ladylike actions induce masculine respect. Women perceived by men as ‘girls’ seem more dependent and in need of a man, which tends to generate masculine respect. Women seem less dependent and, therefore less in need of a man. Womyn earns no respect.

557. HELP!!!

I’ve been asked for details about which I have no expertise and no hope for glory. I invite helpful viewers to respond.

A young lady asked for details about dress and grooming. My response is simply this: In general, if it takes time, effort, or money, she’ll be attractive. If not, she won’t. Setting sex aside for the moment, men find attractiveness in feminine mystique, female neatness, gender uniqueness. They find challenges in feminine independence, female modesty, virtual virginity, and moral uprightness.

Her email follows with only compliments edited out and one comment added internally:

My name is K. and I am a young college student. … My first question has to do with dress and grooming. I agree that women often dress sloppily or unbecomingly. However, many times I think women THINK they are dressing neatly and attractively but the result is sloppy. What does “neat” and pretty look like- could you give examples of what the visual signals of neatness and prettiness are? What clothes typically look neat and attractive to men? Also, what are the typical visual signs of sloppiness and slovenliness? What types of clothes, combinations, colors, etc. typically look sloppy or uncared-for?

Similarly, when it comes to hairstyles, what do men find to be sloppy? What are the hallmarks of poor grooming in a woman? Again, direct and visual examples would be very much appreciated.

Also, as I have a very full chest, the line between modest and sloppy seems rather tenuous when it comes to shirts. Do you have any hints on this particular point for other young women in the same position? Should we lean towards more formfitting shirts and sweaters that line our shape, or would this be too sexual? (Guy offers this: Two boobs beat one bust, one bosom, or one bundle.)

As young girls are often more clueless about this topic than you can even imagine, you cannot be specific or direct enough about what looks good and what looks bad 🙂

Thank you so much for your time.

Most sincerely,

K.

PS. Anticipatory thanks to all who respond. Guy

555. Choices Program the Heart — Part I: Intro

As a man, I operate under these basic assumptions: A female’s sensibilities show the boundaries of her heart. When offended or threatened that way, she has gone too far and should reverse course wherever she is and whatever others are doing. To do otherwise is to program her heart against her self-interest and usually for the worse. Her internal sensitivities guide her better than anything else for remaining a strong, independent, and well-balanced female.

I learned this by observing generational trends among females. Over the past five decades girls converted their gender toward evermore masculine beliefs. They aborted female mystery, modesty, marriage, monogamy, and manners. They demeaned ladies and scorned gentlemanly behavior.

Each generation outdid the previous; they blew away well-established and female-protective sensitivities to open earlier and more expressive exposure to males. They freely gave away their uniqueness, attractiveness, and superior value as mates. They gave away the very influences that attract men and hold one man to one woman.

Girls led the way when they quit listening to mom and authority figures in the Sixties and took up listening to males. Adolescent values last for life, unless tempered with wisdom during formation. Consequently, women find themselves well into physical maturity but strapped with adolescent values about sex, dealing with men, and keeping a husband.

516.1 — Female Dominance

 

 

511. The ABCs when A stands for Women

Women come first, because they determine the rules of life and its social and domestic games. Unfortunately, through immaturity, ignorance, or stupidity, many disregard or misuse their female nature.

God designed and Nature genetically and hormonally endows females with expertise to build and sustain relationship compatibility:

©     Women are instinctively driven to nest, nurture, and nestle with loved ones. This instinctive drive holds society together in family units.

©     A woman instinctively needs a brighter future for her and her children. Her nature seeks security of life, dependable relationships, and family cohesiveness. She seeks family, economic, and social stability. She seeks safety of health, life, and family. To fulfill such need, she has two options. Give of herself to a helpmate, or do it alone, lonesome, and perhaps eventually lonely, isolated, or desperate.

©     A woman does not absolutely need a man, but she wants company or assistance at specific times in life. Her primal want is for a solid relationship with someone stronger and more influential in shaping events that impact her and her children. She wants help to brighten her future in a society dominated by powerful people, unexpected events, and catastrophes. She wants comfort in needy times and companionship for prevention of loneliness. (Doesn’t this qualify Mr. Good Enough as potential Mr. Right?) Intuitively she favors one man, because two will not knowingly share her except when one cuckolds the other.  

©     Women fear abandonment more than anything else. First by mother as little girl, then by father as bigger girl, and finally by her man.

©     Time focus—Women focus their doing on the present and their thinking on the future. Most of their present-day concerns and activities are handled as the result of earlier anticipation and planning.

Handling of sex issues other than coitus determine a woman’s success with her primal drive, need, want, fear, and time focus. This means men, next post.