2806. Response to a Malcontent

The previous post, 2805, lists 20 mismanagement tendencies that cause marital breakups. To it, Godsgrace55 responds this way:

“All 20 of those behaviors also apply to men. But men think they don’t have to address their own behaviors. That is why you notice so many middle age and senior women without a wedding ring. Those women get fed up, divorce, and live a better quality of life.”

I respond as follows.

——

Dear Godsgrace55, you still don’t get it.

1. Blaming men costs women whatever advantage they wish they had among men. (Blame may be well deserved, but it works contrary to what women intend.)
2. Neither sex lives alone without the presence of the other in their lives. At the cultural level aimed at brightening the females’ future, women lead and men follow. At the societal level aimed at the present, men lead and women follow. It’s a swap-meet at which women have first choice for generating success for females, if they but focus on the future instead of getting their way in the present.
3. In general and indirectly but not in particular and directly, women act and men react in response to the cultural values, standards, and expectations, and men drive society along those lines.
4. This blog is What Women Never Hear, not what men never hear. Men don’t listen to men about how to handle or deal with women. If women don’t exemplify what they expect out of men, then men follow their competitive and often combative nature that women resent so easily.
5. The sexes are born such that each individual seeks to get his or her way associating with others. It makes competition the most universal motivator. Except for sex before conquest, men have little or no use of women who compete with them. When women get their way all the time according to female expectations, men lose interest in providing/protecting, raising children, and staying with one woman.
6. Women gain the superior edge in society by using morality, religion, pre-conquest sex, and marriage to tame and harness men to female expectations without emasculating them.
7. Women do what’s right based on what they believe. Men do what’s right based on what they figure out will satisfy them the best. Blame cancels masculine interest for believing that women could be more right than he.
8. When the dominant gender becomes mesmerized by feminine ability, aptitude, and astuteness, dominance dissolves beneath an canopy of female superiority.
9. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera….

Your last sentence is one-sided and exclusively blames men: “Those [middle age and senior without wedding ring] women get fed up, divorce, and live a better quality of life.”

To which I make it two-sided by inserting and bolding the blanks. “Those women get fed up because they can’t get husbands to change to meet wifely expectations, initiate divorce in order to save face and more realistically discredit him, and live a better quality of life by demeaning him, by calling single life high quality to cover her disappointment or embarrassment, and to hide her disenchantment of life without her man.”

Summarized, modern women continue to lose the ability to get what they want out of men. Blame, demand, and political pressure get results, but not what women wish they had from about middle age onward.

534. The C-words revisited

Compete or Cooperate?

He has drive to compete buried deep within and male dominance to back it up. When sensitive discussions with her shift toward confrontation, he shifts into competitive mode and then resorts to his dominant nature to squelch argument. This happens easily because, except for conquest, men naturally avoid competing directly with a woman.

She has cooperation embedded in her need for brighter future. Unfortunately, taught by feminists to disrespect the male gender, she shifts sensitive discussion toward confrontation. This energizes his competitive spirit followed by dominance in order not to win so much as to squelch dissent or argument. Men just don’t wilt under competitive pressures, especially in front of someone they can otherwise dominate. She lost when she chose confrontation over cooperation.

361. Mr. Wrong alias Mr. Right

Women seek to marry what’s not truly identifiable before marriage: Mr. Right. Many marry their supposed Mr. Right only to uncover Mr. Wrong. They choose poorly:

·        First, her perceptions are easily misled about his potential, because she believes the sexes are or should be more alike than different. He doesn’t respond as she expects, but she thinks he will change.

·        Second, his potential only converts to ‘rightness’ or ‘wrongness’ after marital responsibilities pressure him to live up to something bigger than himself.

·        Third, she too eagerly accepts his words of commitment instead of expecting actions that signify devotion to her and their union.

·        Fourth, the real Mr. Right actually emerges only after years of marriage. Provided, that is, Mr. Wrong doesn’t emerge first.

The marriage-minded woman sees him as Mr. Right. Then, she faces marital reality. It’s tough, but she can’t identify Mr. Right as such until he’s been melted down in the crucible of responsible family life.  

NOTE: The next post, #362, is companion to this one. It describes an alternative that can lead to marital success.

337. Unsafe at Any Speed

When most females ‘put out’ easily and casually, sexual relations work against female safety. Males take rejection personal, as female condemnation.

Each attractive female has what he’s after, because male hormones push for sex. When sex is cheap, he looks for easy stuff rather than spin wheels screening for the female of his dreams.

Her rejection spawns bitterness, aggression, and violence. Rejection imagined as extremely personal turns boys, and those men who can’t handle it, toward extreme aggressiveness and even violence.

When No Sex without Marriage is the strategy used by most women and honored by girls, males do not so easily take rejection personal. If rebuffed, they assume her character and moral standards reject his invitation, so females are not rejecting him personally.

This turns men away from sex for its own sake and pushes them to compete for a woman with sex as follow-on. This requires and males accept that they suppress aggressiveness and violence. They make themselves more female-friendly.

In this way, the sexual habits of most females stifle male aggression and violence toward individuals.

 

 

 

 

 

 

333. What daughters never hear — Section 09

The female nature provides women with extraordinary skills for eliminating confusion interacting with men. But, women don’t trust their nature anymore, so they look for admin, legal, or political assistance.

♂♥♀ Some women follow their nature and dress up fishing for compliments. Other women dress down, abandon their female nature, and miss compliments that could uplift their feelings.

♂♥♀ Men see a female as more lovely when she is happy, merry, cheerful, full of life. Her glass half-empty shrinks it.

♂♥♀ Men flirt to good naturedly but cautiously intrude and avoid or delay outright rejection.  

♂♥♀ Men tease to make a woman smile, which makes them prettier, more feminine, more appealing. It’s affection in the form of attention.

♂♥♀ Women can’t tell the difference between being hit on and just teasing. They automatically think the worst of uninvited initiatives.

♂♥♀ Married men compliment her. She takes offense, because she concludes he’s flirting and married men should not do that.

♂♥♀ Married men flirt. She calls it harassment, because men are no darn good.

Brooding about men after the condemnations of Feminism, women either can’t read, or they misinterpret masculine intentions. The unintended consequence: Women want more attention than they are getting from the opposite gender, and need more affection than they get from their man.

[Eight other posts about this title are listed in the Content page at the top.]

326. Female dominance: Gone! — Part 11

It works like the HIV virus. Equality is impossible to achieve, especially on the subject of dominance. Even thinking about it is futile and can be destructive to any relationship.

·        If he loves her more than she loves him, she can dominate, which means he adopts a submissive spirit to her wishes and demands. If she loves him more, she can’t, and he doesn’t.

·        Both sexes dominate with their strengths: A woman can love a man more than herself and show it daily—her strength. A man withholds on daily displays, but he’ll sacrifice himself to provide, protect, and save her and children—his strength.    

·        Being the relationship expert, women have choices: Does she prefer that love, affection, and warmth dominate her relationship, or that he doesn’t dominate it?

·        What does his dominance cost her? Her ego can’t stand the thought of it or the need for her to submit. Her heart doesn’t mind, though, when she loves him more than herself. Her choice: ego or heart?

Women program themselves for defeat as soon as they concern themselves with dominance and submissiveness. The former is Nature, the latter is accommodation that makes a relationship work.

[Ten other posts about dominance are listed in the Content page at the top.]

319. The high cost of cheap sex—13

Cheap sex to males means no permanent obligations. The easier the conquest and escape, the cheaper the sex.

·        Cheap sex turns mature men into teen-minded boys. The things women consider vital have much less value to adolescents—personal responsibility, faithfulness, marriage, family, dependability, truthful promises of commitment, reliable pledges of devotion, adherence to vows.

·        By cheapening sex, women cheapen themselves. Relatively, this makes males more powerful, dominant, independent and, therefore, valuable in society.

·        Males made more valuable force women to compete with each other, to make themselves more worthy for men. Hunks profit from quiet patience, as women fight over them. This reverses the natural way of men competing and making themselves worthy of a woman.

·        Sex outside of marriage gets ever cheaper as men grow more dominant relative to women. More eager to look elsewhere even when committed to someone.

·        Unmarried sex doesn’t provide what men naturally seek in a woman—if he’s to be permanent in her life. So, he has little sense of permanency. This makes him unreliable for faithfulness to her.

In the final analysis, men do whatever women require for frequent and convenient access to sex. And, unmarrried sex requires no loss of independence.

[More about high costs of cheap sex appears in posts 284, 226, 207, 190, 171, 161, 149, 138, 99, 84, 39, and 2. Scroll down or search by the number with dot and space following.]

311. Preventive maintenance — Checklist II

The squabble-prevention checklist continues:

♥ Keeping him is easy but not simple, once she learns to use her female strengths.

♥ Feminine brightens his day. As one woman put it, femininity adds color to a man’s B&W world. [Alison A. Armstrong, Keys to the Kingdom, p.151]

♥ People respect those who are different, unique, and powerful within themselves. Her power thrust in his face offends, however, whereas well-controlled internal strength is admired.   

♥ Virginity, devotion, and marriage are recoverable. People make so many mistakes that recovery is everything. (Details in posts titled Virtual Virginity.) 

♥ She’s a keeper, once she learns to keep him.

♥ Hook up but no call? Moved in but no joy? Married but no peace? Then change herself, because men don’t or won’t.

♥ Women are the maintenance experts, men go along for a smooth and maintenance-free ride.

♥ Learn the difference: Self interest motivates everyone. Self-centeredness motivates you. Us-centeredness motivates us. Selfishness de-motivates others.

♣ Feminism sours his day.

♣ Attacks unsettle his day.

♣ If she’s never satisfied, it drives his thoughts to other options. (The wedding signaled she was satisfied with him, so dissatisfaction means she changed and is no longer the woman he married.)

[The checklist started at post 296. Scroll down or search by the number with a dot and space following it.]