2774. Well-liked Article (#1 posted 11/23/07)

• Feminism Indicted: Feminism is the philosophy of envy of men, the creed of anger at men, and the gospel of politics in relationships. Its inherent virtue equalizes unhappiness for women seeking or living with a man.
• Femininity Acquitted: Femininity is the philosophy of attractiveness for self, the creed of faithfulness with men, and the gospel of devotion to one man. Its inherent virtue civilizes men, balances male dominance, suppresses male aggressiveness, inspires men to prove their worthiness, and rewards men for acting responsibly as both husband and father.
• Feminism discourages male adoration of women. Femininity inspires it.
• Feminism demeans masculinity to get what women want. Femininity praises manliness to get what women want.
• Feminism unleashes the savage male beast. Femininity tames it.
• Anger and blame energize the politics of Feminism. Indirectness and modesty empower the cultural and domestic leadership of Femininity.
• And with thanks to Mary Wumths: Feminism seeks equality between the sexes. Femininity recognizes the differences between the sexes and uses it to female advantage.

2100. 7th Anniversary, Tempus Fugit

Seven years ago tomorrow I posted my first article as declaration of war against Feminism. I titled it “Feminism Indicted.” I copy it here as still appropriate and the birthmark.

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• Feminism Indicted: Feminism is the philosophy of envy of men, the creed of anger at men, and the gospel of politics in relationships. Its inherent virtue merely equalizes unhappiness for women seeking or living with a man.
• Femininity Acquitted: Femininity is the philosophy of attractiveness for men, the creed of faithfulness with men, and the gospel of devotion to one man. Its inherent virtue civilizes men, balances male dominance, suppresses male aggressiveness, inspires men to prove their worthiness, and rewards men for acting responsibly as both husband and father.
• Feminism discourages male adoration of women. Femininity inspires it. Feminism demeans masculinity to get what women want. Femininity praises manliness to get what women want.
• Feminism unleashes the savage male beast. Femininity tames it.
• Anger energizes the politics of Feminism. Indirectness and modesty empower the cultural and domestic leadership of Femininity.

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I started the blog with commitment to explain what women never hear and expected to post a few dozen articles. Now at 2100 I have become relatively devoted and intend to continue the mindset.

Those of you who comment make my duty more pleasant and enjoyable. Thank you.

 

559. He’s Wary to Marry — Section 4

Men see and hear too much of this to show much eagerness for marriage:

♦       She teaches or guides daughters about safe sex, expects them to experiment, and ignores the importance that deferred gratification adds to the maturing process. Fathers harbor contrary feelings.

♦       She just cannot be grateful for her husband doing what he’s best equipped and prepared to do—producing, providing, protecting, problem solving.

♦       She orients her thinking and feelings around harsh and loud and total self-centeredness, opposite to the female nature.

♦       She stresses her faithfulness to feminist ideology and political objectives.

♦       She tears down manliness and masculinity to uplift herself or get what she wants.

♦       She thinks about herself more than him and works with other women and what they should and can do.

♦       She offers unmarried sex after little more than chit-chat, and then after marriage complains about lack of foreplay.

470. He’s Wary to Marry — Section 1

Some women drop virginity and chastity on the premise that females have the same sexual rights as males. Other women believe that having the right does not make it right.

Some women tear down masculinity to get what women want. Other women uplift manliness to get what women want.

Some women teach young girls about sex without love, abandon them to experiment, and ignore their maturation. Other women teach young girls to mature first, love next, and leave sex to marriage.

Some women discourage manly devotion by providing cheap, uncommitted sex. Other women inspire manly devotion by delaying a man’s conquest until he wants her for much more than sex.

Some women popularize the feminist ideal, which makes men retreat from committing with one woman for much more than shack up. Other women persuade a man to commit for marry up by refusing to shack up.

Some women reject the concept or refuse on principle to fill the biblical role of wife submitting to husband. Other women realize that ‘submissiveness’ is more attitude than principle, more respect than honor, more cooperation than obedience, and that high power exists in softness.

Some women use casual sex to attract men, which fails to earn a man’s devotion or obligate him for much more than sex. Other women push hard for No Sex without Marriage, which creates time to deepen his interest, respect, and devotion for one woman.

Some women make themselves worthy of a man just to have one. Other women insist a man make himself worthy of her before marriage, and then she makes herself worthy of him after they marry.

Some women seek words of commitment before yielding. Other women seek a man’s devoted actions before allowing his conquest.

Some women convince themselves that the right combination of passion, love, religious beliefs, common interests, and kids will keep their relationship together. Other women know there’s no such insurance and that special stroking of her man as king to her queen is essential.

344. Ties that bind, or not! — Their fears

Self-interest motivates everyone to do what they do. Immature men make life tough, but the mature woman has the natural expertise to overcome.

 

She fears abandonment. She fears losing him above all else, whether killed, incapacitated, or a walk out. Abandonment strikes her ego as well as her heart.

 

She expects him to overextend himself, as necessary, to provide reassurances. The devoted husband sacrifices to avoid torturing his loveable wife with continual fears that weaken her appreciation for him.

 

He fears insignificance, and her eyes reflect it first. Her lack of respect and gratefulness makes his sense of significance decay. Wounding his spirit can be terminal.

 

Even slight decay can jumpstart motivational forces in him. He seeks to restore his sense of manliness—more independence, expensive toys, trophy woman, or just walk out. Mid-life crisis worsens whatever he chooses to do.

 

He doesn’t necessarily expect it, but ‘smart wife’ becomes head cheerleader for who he is and what he does. She also adds each child to the cheerleading squad.

264. From feminine mystique to feminist mistakes—Part 5

Allow me to personalize the male and female natures as Manhood and Womanhood. I wish to describe traditional America before the 1960s.

Womanhood capitalized on male dominance instead of tearing it down. She supported Manhood’s dominance of society (what people do), while she took over dominance of the culture (why people do it).

Womanhood’s goal: One reliable man to help fulfill her dreams for nesting, nurturing, and nestling with loved ones. She sought stable marriage and family. She convinced Manhood to provide the wherewithal and do the hard labor. In return, she rewarded his husbanding and fathering.

She gained status and added personal stature by making herself very different and highly unique. She capitalized on gender differences and exploited the female nature. Her character was shaped around feminine mystique, female modesty, moral standards, marriage, monogamy, manners, virginity, virtual virginity, soft-heartedness inside and hard-headedness outside of marriage,  and whatever else would distinguish her from Manhood.

She taught daughters to mature first, love next, leave sex to marriage, and uplift manliness and masculinity as the way to fulfill female hopes and dreams.

In the process she earned Manhood’s unconditional respect for the female sex. The benefits grew through the decades. Womanhood changed cultural values and the social and domestic environments in such ways that the genders respected the opposite sex more than their own (e.g., my generation).

Womanhood developed American life into a family game. She emphasized separate but equal genders with cooperative rather than competing roles. In her eyes, good character and virtuous actions overwhelmed looks, interests, and words.

For over a century, Manhood was preoccupied on the job with technological and economic advancements. He dominated workplace and society. Gradually adopting wifely-inspired and family-friendly values, however, Manhood gradually yielded dominance of home and culture.

Family dominance was a toss up, but mostly it had the appearance of husband as head, wife as neck, and children as no more than adult-hopefuls. Womanhood accepted and parlayed this truism: Perceptions are reality, and whatever appears to be, is.

Manhood bought into the lifelong married life sought by Womanhood. Family responsibility guided husbands in the workplace and society. With laws, wealth, and leadership, husbands shaped America to his wife’s vision of family-centeredness.

Mutual respect grew as husbands implemented feminine values in society. Husbands in the workplace made America more family friendly. The beginning of the end, however, arose in the 1960s.

[More on old school America appears in posts 263, 238, 218, and 204 below. Scroll down or search by the number with dot and space following it.]

248. Virtual Virginity #14

♀ ♥ Virtual virginity means just say No to unmarried sex. The purpose: To separate mature from immature, real from fake, reliable from irresponsible, surprising from humdrum, decisive from spineless, adult from adolescent in men and boys. Otherwise known as assessing a guy’s true potential for responsible husbanding and fathering.

♀ ♥ Unless he chooses to drop her—very likely in today’s sexual arena—denial of unmarried sex makes a man focus more and more on her quality, value, and potential as whole person and, hence, wife.

♀ ♥ Conquest stops his looking so diligently for her weaknesses and thus learning about her strengths; other things become more important than sex with her.

♀ ♥ Conquest releases a man to focus on other things. It frees him to move his attention to something else such as job, hobby, buds, or other females. 

♀ ♥ If she can refuse unmarried sex until she conquers him for marriage, she expands her influence over his natural dominance. The winning conqueror shapes their subsequent relationship.

♀ ♥ Women play the man’s game. They shop for friendship, pay with sex, and hope the relationship leads to shack up or marry up. Friendship based on sex doesn’t last, which makes escape easier for men.

[More about virtual virginity appears in posts 231, 212, 198, 181, 169, 158, 147, 136, 125, 96, 70, 51, and 44. Post 25 describes options for girls. Scroll down or search for the number with a dot and space following.]

230. Newlywed Bonding #2 —Virtue as glue

Newlywed life should not be about surviving storms, but learning how to dance in the rain. The dance instructor is virtue. Her gown is adorable femininity. His tux is admirable manliness. Dance shoes are their characters. The dance floor is home.

Daily pressures threaten every home. ‘Virtuous behavior’, as defined in this and future posts, glue a marriage by overcoming daily shock and awe. Couples make it happen, if they identify and dedicate inside defenses against outside threats.

The first and most important defense is this: Live up to things bigger than spouse, self, and even togetherness. This puts each spouse on the right road to virtuous behavior in the home.

Two strategies enable it: Worship God first, honor spouse second, and rank self as next in line. Belief in this ‘chain of command’ solidifies emotions around what’s most important to each spouse.

The second strategy is this: Create a series of principles and rules that lead to goal achievement and squabble prevention. Three arenas are the most vital: respect, money, and teamwork.

Each will be described in future posts. Not as advice, but as concepts that can work. Not as requirements, but as options for newlyweds to choose and use as they see fit.

When a couple can define and adhere to standards and expectations of their own making —aka virtues—then they breed complementary, cooperative, and compatible behavior. It’s the essence of marital glue and the driving force behind hopes and dreams.

[This newlywed series starts at post 224. Scroll down or search by number with dot and space following it.]