Tag Archives: chastity

2129. Avoid Being Dumped


At post 1343 Her Highness Mia inquired “How can we avoid falling into the same trap over and over again … of getting dumped….” Gaining a man’s devotion and learning to keep it is the only insurance against being dropped kicked into misery.

Caution: A strategic plan follows. I have idealized how to earn a man’s devotion. Life isn’t that simple, however. Also, no plan works as written. You have to figure out what and how the principles of the plan can work in your life with your prospects. Relevant blog articles are cited and underscored.

A man interested in you will see you in two lights, sexual and emotional attractiveness. He will tend to stay focused on the sexual. Your job is to develop and keep emotional connections alive and well while he learns to see greater merit in you than just conquest.

  • Be yourself. Be honest and truthful with yourself. Avoid all phoniness regardless of what you think is happening. Be up front, blunt, and candid with him. He will appreciate it. (But not totally candid and exceptions of what NOT to disclose are described below. Definitions used here: Honesty means accuracy. Candid means full disclosure.) [HardToGet tops Full Disclosure!]
  • You’re the buyer, he’s the seller. Buyers don’t have to buy right away. He acts, you respond. You don’t initiate, he does. He works to please you. You respond to please him, but you don’t go out of your way. Reward him, however, for going out of his way for you.
  • If you can’t admire him for who he is and what he does, then you won’t be able to respect and be grateful for him. In that case, he won’t qualify as Mr. Good Enough unless you lower your values, standards, and expectations, which I urge you not to do. Better to drop him early rather than later. [Five articles listed in CONTENTS with Good Enough in the title.]
  • Always dress modestly and your gorgeous best when he’s anywhere near. [Boob Language in 25 parts] Smile a lot and especially at and with him. Show a lot of humor but not faked. Forget any purposeful sexual attractiveness. You can’t be extraordinary, if you dress, act, and look ordinary—and sexual attractiveness is now ordinary.
  • He never sees you excited with or about him. Stay calm; he’s just another guy but one of sufficient interest to perhaps be worthy of you. Emotions you reveal can be used against you and probably will be—not dishonestly either—to facilitate conquest. Full disclosure is out and sexual history—including virgin status yes or no—is your business and none of his. [Virgin? Keep It Secret! in 2 parts; Her Sexual History in 10 parts.]
  • Have moral, religious, and personal reasons for not having sex. Don’t explain yourself, however. You are just that way. You are living up to someone or biblical values or principles higher than you. Don’t use phrasing such as you’re saving yourself for husband, etc. You’re celibate simply because your conscience says to stay that way. The more you explain, the more ammo you give him to persuade you otherwise. [Virtual Virginity in 24 parts]
  • Forget trying to convince him of your love, or love conquers all, or whatever else your female mind can conceive as beneficial of love. It may not be meaningless to him, but it won’t carry the day, won’t convince him of much. Love just isn’t that important to how a man views his future with a mate. He sees your love in the respect/appreciation/gratitude you show—actions more than words—for who he is and what he does. [Love vs. Respect in 5 parts; Sex Diff. Redux Parts 18 through 28]
  • DON’T gift him with the expectation that it will gain you favor. Men don’t appreciate unearned gifts, so you gain nothing at considerable cost. Give simple and inexpensive birthday, Christmas, and especially Valentine gifts. He doesn’t rate Valentine’s Day nearly as high or important as you. How he gifts you, however, tells you a lot. Don’t cook for him except as reward for some special favor he’s done. (Should you marry, you want your cooking to reward him for providing/protecting and not his expecting it for just being the man you love.)
  • Be patient. You need many months to allow time for a good man to change to meet your expectations. And, he has to do it mostly at his own motivation and time; your role is secondary. First, he downgrades his primary interest in conquest to include stronger interest in you. Then, he expresses his commitment with words that brighten your future. Then, he morphs into a state of devotion clearly exhibited by his actions to please himself just for wanting to please you. Then, he finds himself deeply devoted, and it shifts his focus to the promise you hold for his life and ambition. Somewhere along that process, his devotion to you shifts conquest into second place on his priority list. (You go wrong to try to influence or expedite that process. So, be patient, yourself, pleasant, and likeable in his presence. Take your complaints and worries to the Lord—but not girlfriends or family.)
  • Practice the art of thanking a man without saying thank you. See article 2059. Men are Never More Handsome….
  • DON’T pay or split pay for dates. If he won’t, he’s not good enough. If he can’t, let him treat you at Taco Bell. How he handles money promises what your future will be like with him. (Men don’t change, remember?) [Single Women Don’t Pay in 3 parts]
  • Don’t bug him to call, text, or speak of his love. He takes it as invitation to change and men don’t change for a woman—except as each one becomes devoted through his own motivation and action.
  • Use indirectness to get what you want. Seed planting, hints, questions, and weakly worded suggestions. Neither describe nor ask for your expectations to be fulfilled. What he figures out impresses him much more than what you describe or request. [Her Indirectness Overpowers Directness]
  • Don’t complain about him or his habits. If unsuitable for your future, drop him. (If you accept undesirable habits now, you in effect are saying you can live with them. When you mention them after marriage, you give him incentive to dump you. You deceived him; he married a phony because he was okay before the altar.)
  • There is no Mr. Right and it should take months for him to prove to you that he’s even Mr. Good Enough. Convince yourself and reflect this attitude: He’s not REALLY good enough FOR YOU but you’re willing to spend time with him for the enjoyment that the two of you have together. Just to see what happens. You might make good friends someday; he’s worth that as long as he’s nice and kind. Don’t try to manipulate, just find ways to keep his interest up for many months. It won’t be easy either but necessary for his focus to shift to putting your interest first and ahead of sex. [Four articles with “Mr. Right” in the title.]
  • Don’t let him hear you complain; you’re already a winner so you don’t want him involved with the complaint side of your life—at least not yet.

He will press you to find weaknesses to get you into bed. You need months to delay bedtime together while he discovers qualities in you that he can admire. They become virtues to him. Enough virtues and you become fascinating to him. You need more months for him to see promise in you as mate to supplement his life and ambition. After that, perhaps, a proposal.[Men Self-talk their Way to the Altar]

 

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2098. Compatibility Axioms #531-540


531. When he shows interest, she starts out as targeted sex object. Her yielding confirms it. Hunters stop aiming at game already put down—except for arranging booty call. [198]

532. To each man interested in her, she’s a sex object. She yields and becomes something else. She does not yield and becomes something better for him—bigger challenge, rise above himself, something he has to earn by showing more respect for their mutual interest. [198]

533. Her withholding unmarried sex is the most valuable way to shift a man’s focus to feminine interests, especially away from male dominance. [198]

534. Before conquest he keeps looking for weaknesses to get her in bed. While doing so, he learns of her other qualities and strengths that can benefit him, and which can grow into promise that she has to be his mate. [198]

535. Female dominance works indirectly, beneath conscious thought. Her insistence on chastity before marriage forces him to choose. Either depart or enlarge his interest in all the other wonderful things she has to offer and qualities she has to charm and bless his life. [198]

536. Unmarried chastity with a man enables her to orchestrate his interest gently but deliberately through this sequence: girlfriend, sweetheart, fiancée, bride, wife. It’s her path to feminine glory. [198]

537. Her yielding unmarried sex empowers him to pursue this: hook up, link up, and maybe shack up until his freedom calls, and they split up. It’s his path to masculine glory. [198]

538. Male virginity has no value to females. Moreover, unmarried boys have little future use for the girl who taps it. [199]

539. A man changes dramatically after conquering a woman. She never knows what to expect either, which is why time and delay work better for women.[199]

540. Three major roles rooted in human nature trump love. Dominance for a couple comes in three colors: Dominant mate or the head, dominant nester or the heart, and dominant family leader or the most cherished. Marriage works best when that sequence matches this: him, her, and either. [199]

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2097. Compatibility Axioms #521-530


  1. Sexually active women highly value hunks for looks, which causes them to capture men poor for keeping. Experience with many sex partners—easy for hunks—weakens a man’s spirit for devoting himself to one woman. Each score leaches out of him a little respect for female self-protectiveness and regard for a woman’s interest. [191]
  2. It’s social custom especially regarding sex. Each new generation of females works harder to duplicate males. Females initiate everything more and more, but males retain the leadership role. They help females lower female-friendly values, standards, and expectations and to demean themselves just to please males. (And a new generation emerges with different values about every six or seven years.) [191]
  3. Women act and try to date like guys. They accept ‘whatever’ to keep a relationship going. They try to participate and enjoy masculine fun and games. They let desire to not offend a man override their nature—for example, tolerate embarrassment that offends a woman’s natural modesty. Her value as any man’s keeper weakens from not standing up for herself better if at all. [191]
  4. Girls and women adopt masculine-style sexual freedom. Females devalue virginity. Girls ditch it, and mothers don’t try hard to prevent its loss to make their girls more popular. Women think of themselves as sexually adventurous. They dismiss chastity that makes males try harder, that earns masculine respect, that primes men to devote to one woman. [191]
  5. To demonstrate their independence from men, women reject feminine virtue, duplicate masculine behavior, and even demo baser behaviors in public. By acting more like men, women hope to be more appealing. In fact, successful relationships revolve around differences between the sexes that couples reduce to compatibility. [191]
  6. If women refuse to honor the male gender as more worthy than the female gender, they kill what it takes for men to respect women as more worthy than men. It’s far more attitude than fact, appreciation than trust, approximation than precision. Caution: The reverse never happens, because men don’t respect women that portray no gender uniqueness. [196]
  7. Feminists believe that male and female infidelity are the same and equal. Not so. He cheats, and she breaks down emotionally and seeks outside help. She cheats, and his sense of significance plummets. This makes her obsolete. He maneuvers to be rid of her—sometimes harshly or violently. Of course it’s not fair, but men aren’t females regardless of how feminists hope to change them. [196]
  8. Men bond with a woman and strengthen family responsibility by making themselves useful and proving their worth as rescuers, protectors, providers, problem solvers. But his woman’s insistence on her independence turns him toward escapism in big toys, expensive adventures, irresponsibility, females. To the degree he’s not needed, he’s free and looks to have pleasure. [196]
  9. Mothers imply it. We all tend to become like those with whom we associate. Feminists for three decades claimed men to be selfish lovers, inadequate mates, and poor responders to female needs. Now, women accuse men of being irresponsible lovers, mates, fathers, and family men. They also claim that men are ignorant of female needs, wants, hopes, dreams, and relationship-building. ♫ Ta da ♫ Men no longer make good husbands. Just as feminists claimed. [196]
  10. Feminism makes the worth of men decline in female eyes. Consequently, the reverse happens too. Women receive less respectful, harsher, and even abusive treatment and then try to compensate with cheap and easy sex to satisfy men into being more reliable at helping fulfill women’s needs. It doesn’t work very long for a woman. Or does it? [196]

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1189. Boot Camp for Girls—Day 26: Graduation


Girls have an instinctive ability to handle boys. However, many lack enough talent and skills to win consistently. New knowledge improves talent and broadens skills. So, squeeze this baker’s dozen of truisms into your thinking of the future.   

  1. HardToGet keeps a girl in the driver’s seat. Non-passionate relations make the best bus tires for rolling over the hottest boys.
  2. Self-respect counts most in a girl’s character. Without it, self-confidence plummets. Earning self-confidence builds self-respect. So, she gets what she earns as she pursues her hopes and dreams.  
  3. A girl’s happy future with a happy mate depends more on his integrity than anything else. Integrity strengthens mutual respect, commitment to marriage, devotion to her, and his vow-keeping.
  4. A busted courtship shouldn’t be such a big deal. Multiple courtships pay off. Her man’s character depends on her making enough wrong judgments to learn how to choose the best man for her.
  5. Ladylike behavior, high modesty standards, and moral expectations stir men to be gentlemanly in a woman’s presence. It also works for girls.  
  6. A boy takes interest in a girl for two prime reasons. Fixation on sex energizes him temporarily. Desire for her admiration focuses him on long-term possibilities. If she enables the former, she can forget the latter.
  7. Self-respect fades when you give what you oughtn’t, do what you shouldn’t, or suffer what you needn’t.
  8. Do what’s right, avoid what’s wrong, but more importantly, always do what you should.
  9. Kissing does matter. Sensuous suggests the rightness of you for him. Passionate suggests the rightness of him for sex.
  10. Guilt guides your life, so start now affirming your intention and ability to do what you should. Most importantly, learn to forgive yourself and don’t look back. Old guilt leads to depression when loaded with doubt about how you previously handled it.  
  11. A boy respects what he can’t conquer. He respects chastity in general and especially a girl’s abstinence with him. A man’s love rests on a firm foundation of respect for a woman. Boys want sex, and so he keeps trying. Where else can she get enough respect, unless she keeps denying sex but not disrespecting his trying?
  12. Feminine beats plain femaleness. Mystery beats full disclosure. Modesty beats masculine morality. Monogamy beats sexual freedom. All of it makes males back off from their naturally dominant personas, which helps fulfill female hopes and dreams.   
  13. If you can train boys to follow your conscience, you’re well on the way to excellent relationship expertise.

Congratulations to everyone that completed boot camp. Only you know who you are but reward yourself some way. I’m proud of you.

Regular WWNH broadcasting resumes tomorrow.

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775. The Blessings of Patriarchy — Chapter 4


MORE DETAILS

This continues the part of yesterday’s article where I said: “Historical facts suggest women will be eternally blessed and made hopeful by male-dominated, wealth-building society. The question then pops up: How do women capitalize on what they face? How do they balance their interests with those of men? Before Feminism came along, our foremothers intuitively knew how. The answer squirts out in this misty spray: Women depend on, use, and exploit men in society and around the house. (Details tomorrow)” The details now follow.

Women depend on, use, and exploit men in many ways. But it’s best done gradually and unnoticeably. Before anyone says I’m endorsing manipulation, think again for I’m not. All that follows is motivated naturally by these primal urges: her drive to nest, nurture, and nestle; her need for a brighter future; her wants for a man’s help in fulfilling her hopes and dreams, her fear of abandonment, and her time focus on the future more than the present.

The following is not a How To. It’s intended to be educational. So, it requires study to deepen one’s understanding of the female nature when balancing self-interest with that of a man:

·        She stakes out ownership of the feminine domain and competes to preserve it. She clearly and ungrudgingly yields ownership of the masculine, and cooperates to help men or husband to do better.

·        She competes strongly with men to preserve her chastity or marital fidelity. She cooperates strongly with husband to preserve their relationship. She assumes responsibility for ‘maintaining’ any relationship.

·        She has a natural urge to take charge of almost everything concerning her family. She knows when she shouldn’t especially in areas that husband considers his responsibility or domain.

·        Without offending husband, she learns to control enough of life’s events to pursue her hopes and dreams for her family. She wins enough independence by depending on him.

·        She knows men don’t like to ask females for help, and so she anticipates and meets husband’s needs without his asking. It’s not reciprocal, however, because he isn’t as sensitive to her feelings.

I found the list too big for one day. It will finish tomorrow.

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540. Unmarried women shape society: Part 1


Before the sexual revolution, married women shaped society by dominating the culture. After the 1960s unmarried females enabled men to dominate the culture, and now the society works against females. She always has choices, however….

©     Her Nature: She shapes their relationship to meet her expectations for fulfilling her hopes and dreams. Dating for other reasons wastes her time and his money. Is this current practice?

©     His Nature: Dates using her money benefit him financially but weaken his emotional ties to her. If she’ll pay, she’ll play—his game, that is. Using his money adds value to her as person instead of sex object. Spending on her invests himself in her and her interests, as long as he doesn’t see it as cover charge for sex. This final point uplifts virtual virginity to best strategy and hardtoget as best tactic. Is this approach popular?

©     Money: Wasting his money harms her reputation, but using hers weakens their relationship. Acknowledged by females?

©     Look Alike: If she won’t yield sex, they shouldn’t spend her money. Her money works best when she handles it under the same principles as her chastity—as reward for giving up his independence in marriage rather than as bribe to stick around or settle down prematurely. Do women nowadays see it this way?

©     Booty: Dateless sex makes her valuable for booty call but under his terms. Something may develop beyond conquest, but what stirs his interest about her beyond sex? Her money?

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520. Exes with Benefits? — III


After a breakup, if she wants him back, she lets him work on his own mind and heart. Chastity triggers it like nothing else can. Some additional thoughts:

·        What should be free no longer is. It drives little boys crazy. Men can be little boys grown tall.

·        He has trouble believing that she’s not a pushover. So, he makes mistakes that offend her. He hasn’t changed. His mistakes strengthen her resolve. No benefits unless he marries her will eventually sink in.

·        Her resolution strengthens her. Ever mindful of how to hit her hot buttons, he fails, and she earns new respect that grows to admiration after a while.

·        Newfound admiration reminds of former times and tends to rekindles his residual love.

·        Denied sex, ego motivates him to prove his charm and worth and win her once again. She can then decide on the merits of his earnestness and his newly developed worthiness.

·        If chastity pushes him away and he shows no interest, he demonstrates unwillingness to accept her standards and expectations. She wins, because he refuses to be different from whatever he was before breakup; she dodged another mistake with him.

·        She also wins if chastity keeps him returning to associate with her. He slips back into his natural hunter-conqueror role. This means that he once again tries to woo and win her. Perhaps only for sex, but that’s always the starter.

·        Greater respect for her and admiration for her chasteness will haunt him to conquer again. Not that he’ll come back to her, but the failure will haunt him. He can’t grasp that he can’t go where he’s been so many times before.

·        The longer she remains chaste with him, the greater his interest in teaming back up with her. Time works for her, because chastity inspires his curiosity, which fires up his imagination to conquer, which fires up his ego to try over and over until he’s victorious. (The past still haunts: From the instant they met, it was a mind game for dominance of her sexual assets.)

Let me close with this reminder. Einstein claimed “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” She has tremendous power to stir a man’s curiosity with other than sex. His imagination can’t leave her mystery alone, if he can’t conquer or re-conquer her.

So much for exes. This series ends here—at least for now.

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