- A man’s love of a woman begins with his pleasing her while she remains relatively quiet about who she is and what she does. She focuses on listening and encourages him to talk about himself, which begins to earn his respect. Thus, she puts him in the seller role. She makes him work to figure out what she can mean to him. He has to earn her by investing and selling himself while she fills role of buyer. Of course, it takes a lot of time, patience, and self-respect for her, but it’s the kind of behavior that starts a man’s love to develop and grow.
- A husband’s present life depends on many things other than his wife’s love. His interests are bundled together such that wife never views them completely until they’ve been married for decades. Even then, she’s probably detected them more indirectly than directly. His interests are those things that make him satisfied with who he is, what he does, and who he does it with. After marriage, the main ingredients are his satisfaction with her, what she does, and living with her.
- If she loves him without his need of it, he can use it to facilitate conquest. If she yields sex early, he can dump her. He doesn’t bond with sex, and if it takes a while to conquer, he figures out before she yields just how she will end up afterward: keeper, booty, or dumpee depending on how much of himself he invests in her and how satisfying will be his continuing effort to associate with her.
- A man seeks to marry a virtuous woman, and a woman’s virtues are whatever qualities she has that earn a man’s admiration. He has little interest in what others call her virtues, unless everybody calls her beautiful. Figuring that it will take time, he delivers a concentrated effort aimed at capturing her for himself. As he uncovers new virtues, he gives up chasing sex with her and determines that she’s more valuable to him than sex with her. It may take awhile, but he likely proposes when he’s convinced living with her will be more satisfying that how he now lives.
- By chasing a man, she fails to earn his respect, which is the essential and primary foundation of a man’s love. She’s interested in sharing her love, finds a man, and showers him with all the love she has. She’s surprised to find that he’s turned off; he was the pursuer but her love isn’t attractive or appealing with her in chase mode. So, he conquers and dumps her, or so he quickly plans.