Tag Archives: male dominance

1970. Compatibility Axioms #371-380


NOTE: I can’t say it often enough. I have no objections to the legal, political, and economic progress made by women. Advancements were deserved long before they were won. I address Feminism only as the public fallout impacts social and domestic life among men and women.

371. The feminist challenge to millennia-old patriarchy is the fundamental cause of incompatibility. It separates the sexes, because it uses outside help in the form of public pressure to help prove women right and men wrong. Thus, Feminism leads women away from their natural strengths and relationship expertise. Misdirected, women give up their instinctive art of screening men until they become worthy of capture. Instead of dreaming of upgrading their Mr. Good Enough into Mr. Right during decades of living together, they try to ‘convert’ him immediately before or after marriage. [134]
372. Feminist-think calls for human nature to work backwards. Nowadays, women cooperate with each other for advice about men and unify support against them. They compete with their man for dominance. The first tends to prevent and the latter tends to melt compatibility. [134]
373. When women think and act like men, it transmutes into loss of the female genius that every couple needs to build longevity together. Romantic love fades faster. Sexual love becomes her manipulative tool. Enduring love doesn’t become mutual. Marital vows shrink in importance. One or both spouses become itchy to make a better go of it with someone else. [134]
374. The human competitive spirit and modern social pressures push women to act more like men—♫ I can do anything he can do better. ♫ Women imagine success and frustration arises at the lack of it. Frustration pushes them to escalate until they become the irresistible force trying to move the immovable object. Thus, womanly frustration generates greater manly stubbornness. [134]
375. A man’s love is founded on respect. And men respect women that persistently uphold values and standards that uplift women relative to men but not at the expense of men. It includes values and standards that men don’t initiate but value people who do. Femininity builds such respect, and Feminism discourages it. [135]
376. One woman says this. “Men need femininity. They call it ‘color in a black and white world.’ It heals their wounds, soothes their spirits and recharges their batteries. It is one of the things men look for in their wives; someone who makes them more powerful by feeding them with their femininity.” [‘Claudia’ as quoted in Keys to the Kingdom by Alison A. Armstrong, PAX Programs, Inc., p. 151] [135]
377. Femininity reflects intense femaleness with politics removed. It includes female traits that women rely on naturally to fulfill their hopes and dreams. Qualities such as feminine mystique, female modesty, religious morality, faithful monogamy, female-defined manners, female-friendly social standards, compassionate values, holy matrimony, and an eager-to-reveal emphasis against offense to a woman’s sensibilities. Femininity generates personal power dealing with men, because it enables women to reduce the hormone storms of male dominance—sometimes into submission or at least toleration. [135]
378. When the female gender institutionalizes the feminine qualities just cited, men learn to respect females more than males. Their unconditional respect for women provides the foundation for the conditional respect for one woman who eventually transmutes into the enduring love that sustains compatibility for life. A man’s enduring love of one woman isn’t all that strong, if he lacks respect for her gender. Old-school mothers made it work. Our forefathers built American greatness out of wifely inspirations, expectations, encouragements, and gratefulness shrouded in femininity. [135]
379. Our foremothers knew male dominance has to be outsmarted and outmaneuvered and not squelched obviously. They generated and sustained compatibility very differently than modern women. First, they competed with other women for a man with sex out of the picture. Sex was the bonus after he qualified as worthy to be her husband and father of her children. Second, they cooperated with their husband and revealed their respect and gratefulness by pleasing him. [135]
380.Further, our foremothers exploited their femaleness to clarify two very different and cooperative roles as a couple—separate responsibilities for each. His domain was outside the home, hers inside. He was chairman, she was CEO. With clearly separated roles, they balanced relationship power without outside influence. [135]

 

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1917. Equality Worsens Women’s Dilemma


I expound upon about a great paragraph, but do it in reverse order from effect to cause to consequence. Her Highness Denise said this:

“I’m finding that more and more, younger men seem to focus on being the good friend and involved father, and perhaps even affectionate husband, rather than provider-protector. The “new normal” emphasizes equality in roles, and I’m not sure whether these new kinds of relationships show that men and women have found a new equilibrium that will ultimately work just as well, or whether there are hidden negative consequences waiting down the line.”

Effect. Denise describes a “new normal” and I agree but not about equilibrium. The female gender as a whole has swung toward praising certain men for satisfying female demands and expectations. Women expect more female-type displays of affection, friendship-love, and fatherly nurturing. Macho men and masculinity are less popular and often disrespected by women. Women upstage their men with higher incomes, status, and ability to provide-protect. In many other ways, men are put down but yet expected to please women. Women compensate by reasoning that they deserve masculine-style sexual freedom.

The political urgings of equality all across society have changed the culture to please the radical feminists who originally aimed to destroy patriarchy. Male behaviors have been ground and sanded into female-defined roles foreign to the male nature. Some men find success relating with women on female terms. But other men find inadequate satisfaction and resent, resist, and retaliate against females who urge for more female-friendly behavior.

The female gender as a spirit continues to endorse some unisex society. But more legal, political, and economic equality produces much more turmoil on the social and domestic scenes. The female gender operates with little male gender input. They have definitions and expectations but no end-game except masculine-style sexual freedom and husbandly household care. Denise wonders if a new equilibrium has been found. It’s a female hope, but equality is not attainable. The losers fight back. My bet is that the masculine pursuit of fairness will carry this century. The consequences below seem to point that way, that women will learn and adjust to get what they are after. That is, more reliable, steadfast, and long-lasting marriage.

Cause. Article 1915 describes this natural phenomenon. Men are born with loads of firmly implanted and permanent self-respect, and they expect respect shown by others to match or exceed it. They become aggressively troublesome when they don’t witness enough respect. OTOH, they are born without self-love, and so they don’t expect to be loved for no reason. They automatically strive to earn it from those who are important to them. But they only know one way, natural way that is. They produce, provide, protect, and problem solve. All else, such as just being affectionate without sex on the mind, is learned behavior.

Denise’s “new normal” is the result of some men setting aside their self-respect long enough to earn self-love first with the self-promise they can recover their self-respect. Does it work for such men and will it work for the remainder of men? Or, will relationships continue to wilt to the dissatisfaction of both sexes? You be the judge, next.

Consequence. How well and how long can women treat men as they do today and live with the masculine nature that urges men to:

  1. Build their ambitions around their need for self-admiration, amidst women who continue to condemn manly ambitions that don’t resonate well with uniquely female values?
  2. Seek to develop their self-love by earning the love of women, but who continually berate manly traits and habits that build male self-respect?
  3. Reinforce their self-respect by charming women into bed and leaving them?
  4. Go into fight or flight mode and leave adrift women who try to change them?
  5. Experience the 2-year glitch, 7-year itch, and 20-year switch?
  6. Learn to love from women who respect them dearly?
  7. Value a female sexually according to how few men had her out of wedlock?
  8. Consider it unforgiveable for their woman to physically cheat on them?
  9. Protect or restore their self-respect first and above all else?
  10. Respect women for their ability to withhold premarital sexual relations?
  11. Love females to the extent that women respect and admire them?
  12. Learn from females to act civilized and domesticate themselves to the expectations of women?
  13. Conquer women for short-term and frequent convenience?
  14. Abhor women who cast doubt on a man’s sexual performance or ability?
  15. Consider masculine-style sexual freedom wrong for women but so compensable for men that they overlook other female wrongdoings?
  16. Focus on ‘me before us’ and ‘you before us’?
  17. Choose a mate based on a woman’s uniqueness, respectable character, and the promise he sees in her for supporting his efforts in life?
  18. Not value what women say as much as what women do?
  19. Resist adamantly their mate’s efforts to change him?
  20. …etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

Who knows how long that list could grow? Throughout this blog hundreds of sex differences appear that women choose to ignore or condemn in order to have their way, in order to elevate themselves over men rather than expecting men to put women on pedestals. Women can get what they expect but not what they dictate. Each man’s dominance is conquerable by some woman, but patriarchy has proven indestructible for six millennia but manageable in earlier America.

——

Historical Note. In the past half-century women have been de-trained from recognizing one simple trait of the female psyche. Women naturally respect other people until events discourage it. Men are opposite. Women put themselves in control, when they unconditionally honor the masculine nature. Then, marital relations become easier and more steadfast because men work harder to maintain the respect of their mates. Men are incapable of improving the female life without the indirect, imperceptible, and unoffending leadership of women.

That principle evolved into an American tradition until the 1960s. Both sexes unconditionally respected the opposite sex more than their own. It grew out of our political freedom and, while certainly not perfect, enabled women to chew away at the disadvantages of patriarchy. After the 1960s and for political reasons, radical feminists overwhelmed the natural trait of female patience in order to justify their attack on men and patriarchy. Women today have to overcome that debilitating legacy.

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1831. Sex Difference Redux—Part 79: Feminism vs. Femininity


Theme: Feminism smacked men in the face and promised women a different and supposedly better role model than Femininity. History shows the results. (I capitalize to symbolize the terms as polarized opposites.)

History: When Feminism cut a swath across the social fabric, radical feminists claimed that patriarchy would be overwhelmed by a popular upsurge toward matriarchy. Feminism attacked male dominance and manly behavior on every front. Feminists demeaned to extinction the concept of gentlemen and gentlemanly behavior. They thrust this offending attitude in the face of men: You stink! Men fought back but their natural masculine spirit was driven underground. Subsequent generations of boys have been feminized for lack of rugged individual role models. Consequently today, women complain the pool of marriage candidates appears half empty and half contaminated against ideal courtship, marriage, and raising a family.

Feminism causes disbelief or disinterest in three natural female skills. 1) How to value and uphold morality as the primary key to condition both sexes to live compatibly. 2) How to tame males to accept feminine dominance in matters of female uniqueness and sensibility. 3) How to lure and harness individual men into domestic responsibility with a woman and children. Part of their present-day unhappiness stems from women not using those three natural skills. Instead, they mistakenly expect men to be and act as feminists expect, rather than who and what men actually and naturally are.

Femininity both empowers and enables girls and women to capture, hold, and energize a man to help fulfill female hopes and dreams. Although beneficial in legal, political, and economic venues with which I take no exception here, Feminism disrupts and even cancels the superior influence of women when they deal with men socially and domestically.

Direct comparisons best enable me to dissect the Feminism-Femininity carcass that continues to stink up society and culture after nearly half a century.

Feminism empowers men to liberally spread their seed. ♥ Femininity enables and rewards men for female-friendly discretion and sexual fidelity.

Feminism demeans the significance of men. Spurred by their greatest fear of significance, men resent, resist, and retaliate against females. ♥ Femininity adds satisfying importance to females by admiring masculine significance.

Feminism appeals to female insecurities in order to enhance momentum for criticizing and demeaning men. ♥ Femininity combines and coordinates male and female strengths in order to minimize insecurities.

Feminism destroys fairness in the name of equality and fosters unbalanced competitiveness between the sexes. ♥ Femininity generates and nurtures cooperative and compatible relationships with men.

Feminism demeans male nature. ♥ Femininity appreciates male nature, applauds it, and relies on it to provide, protect, and stabilize family safety and security.

Feminism fakes women into thinking that hook up and shack up will lead inevitably to marry up and thus put each woman in control of her future. ♥ Femininity teaches girls that only abstinence during courtship elevates her with sufficient respect and influence to overcome and compatibly live with a man’s dominant nature.

Feminism confuses men about their role in society. It drives them away from domestic obligations and discourages acceptance of responsibility for others. ♥ Femininity enlightens men about their high priority, highly valued, and highly honored role as producer, provider, protector, and problem solver.

Feminism encourages women to value themselves individually much as men self-centeredly value themselves first. ♥ Femininity encourages women to value themselves as part of a couple—just as God designs, Nature endows, and hormones energize them.

Feminism energizes women to fight against male dominance. ♥ Femininity energizes women to tame and harness male dominance into serving women and children.

Feminism turns men off from honoring the female gender. ♥ Femininity turns men on to respecting the opposite gender, honoring individual females, and loving children.

Feminism energizes women to emasculate men. ♥ Femininity welcomes, endorses, and reinforces the virtues of manliness, and it makes women feel good about themselves in return.

To the exclusion of Feminism, Femininity enables women to deal successfully with male strengths, such as the marvel of male dominance and its ability to produce, provide, protect, and problem solve. Femininity also enables success dealing with weaknesses so unfriendly to females, specifically those of men loving job more than spouse and longing continually for conquest of unconquered females.

♥ Mothers tame aggressiveness or boys express it freely for life. Femininity strengthens motherly efforts to teach the blessings of femaleness so that boys for life carry ultra-respect for the female sex. Femininity also enables moms to nullify the masculine aggression that flares from the anti-maleness of Feminism.

♥ Teen girls civilize boys into men with promise for married life—or boys never learn. A boy is never more attentive to a female than when she’s sexually attractive but unconquered by him. Boys listen and heed and feminine girls have opportunity to teach boys about domestic responsibility and marital way of life. However, boys pay attention more to her than her dreams. The more they know about her, the closer they are to find the trigger that gets her to yield sex the first time. The promise keeps them coming back to learn more about her, which enables her to teach them how to become good husbands. On the other hand, Feminism says to have sex for sake of sex; no need to teach boys how to face up to marital responsibility.  

♥ Femininity promotes chastity, morality, and holding herself for a husband. Not to avoid sex so much as to uplift the virtue and promise a female has for wifehood. Feminism preaches or condones the opposite and tends to de-civilize boys into little more than narcissistic pursuers of sex.

♥ Bachelorettes and wives domesticate men to settle down or else men avoid devoting themselves to one woman. Feminine virtues of cooperation, gratefulness, and promise for a good life as a couple generate mutual respect and domesticate men. To the extent this model breaks down under the pressures of Feminism, relationships follow suit (as they have for decades).

♥ Feminine mystique works to hold men’s attention. A man’s curiosity, interest, and desire flow more easily toward that which he finds attractive but can’t fully comprehend.

♥ Our foremothers used patience, pleasantness, kindness, gratitude, indirect and non-challenging influence, and plenty of time to mold both husband and family. They smothered their family with loyalty and support. They served gentleness and kindness with generous platters of food. Lifetime marriages were in vogue. Feminism discourages the outcome of such lifetime marriages by condemning our foremothers’ way of harmonizing family and home.

As women go, so goes society. Feminists—especially political correctioneers—cause the sexes to fight over gender values. However, in the grand scheme of a happier life, women capitalize on male strengths to compensate for male weaknesses and fulfill female hopes and dreams. It’s best done by dumping feminist values and relying on Femininity that is so natural and potentially powerful for individual females.

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1781. Sex Difference Redux—Part 35: Female Dominance


Dominance means for someone to get their way and differs greatly between men and women. Male dominance is intermittently used, because men presume it to be unnecessary in order for them to get their way. To the extent a husband doesn’t impose his dominance, his wife perceives mini-voids and opportunities to expand her influence—and it’s a primal urge.

Male dominance is instinctive, well recognized, and focused on the present. With little or no conscious thought behind it, however, femininity easily outwits it, grows its own counterpoints, and smooths the harsh edges from it. In the natural course of events, female dominance yields to male dominance in the present so women get their way in the future.

Female dominance operates in background. It is reasoned, designed, reinforced, and proved daily in reality. Strategically, female dominance relies on indirectness, patience, negotiation, and cooperation and avoids direct competition with a man. Men don’t easily recognize the subliminal influence of female dominance, except when they see it in other couples and much later in their own married lives. On the other hand, the essence of a man’s devotion is his willingness to accept her dominance of things of vital importance to her.

Femininity counters masculinity with uniquely female logic, reason, gender influence, multiple agendas, deeper feelings, personal persuasiveness, parlaying the present for the future, and whatever else women individually and collectively use or can create to get their way.

Seldom acknowledged, women naturally rush to get their way whenever they find their man may be acquiescent. Wives almost never abandon their primal urge to brighten their future by improving their husbands. The only real obstruction is resistance in the form of male dominance, which is why women work hard to avoid their husband imposing it. She can eventually get her way if she honors his dominance today. That, incidentally, paves the road of his devotion.

The balance of dominance within a couple shifts later in life as the ratio of hormones changes for both sexes. The level of estrogen-to-testosterone falls as women pass through mid-life. They become more assertive and even aggressive, which enables them more easily to get their way. At about the same time in life, the level of estrogen-to-testosterone rises as testosterone decreases in men. It lowers masculine desire to get their way, and men acquiesce more easily to their women’s desire to lead.

Feminism set out to conquer male dominance. Men were offended and became irritated, moved out of the limelight, and privately reinforced their sub-culture insistence that males dominate females. Our foremothers knew how to make male dominance tolerable and less offensive. But modern women let feminist politics intrude their relationships, and for the past few decades male dominance has come out of the closet into which our foremothers had stuffed it—not stuffed completely but smoothly enough that devotion to wives and children became common.

The rest isn’t history so much as female misery. Men rise to leadership roles early in life, and women later. We now see many highly attractive, assertive, and even aggressive middle-age women finding that they have no man with whom to enjoy getting their way more easily, no man to lead through the fun, fulfillment, and ravages of aging. It’s slow to happen, but women have begun to realize that feminists taught women to overpower rather than use male dominance to help fulfill female hopes and dreams.

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1298. An Unflattering Light


I screwed up. I opened a subject I didn’t have to let out of the bag. Stuck with it, however, I owe explanation rather than dodge it. Remember: This blog focuses on the motivational forces that arise from the male and female natures. Their natures before individual values, beliefs, and emotions are implanted.

I commented: “However, what women never hear is this: Any woman loses the respect of the man that she permits to ejaculate anywhere on or in her but her vagina.” Here’s the rest of the story.

Values, beliefs, and emotions override this fact, but both males and females know intuitively that natural sex means intercourse, period. Anything else is wrong or at least contestable as to its propriety. For example, contestable by females.

However, male dominance plays out in many variations that go far beyond the natural. One variant in particular has a dominated person perform something the dominator knows deep inside is wrong. When the dominated person does as expected, they appear in an unflattering light or worse. It signifies to the dominator that he has greater than natural control over the dominated, and thus has less respect for someone so malleable to his will.

Four social and cultural conditions keep women unaware of some truths.

  1. Men dominate the pop culture and impose male-friendly values. (When women dominated cultural values, society followed more natural sexual behaviors.)
  2. The pop culture hides the universal naturalness of intercourse-only by inventing every deviation conceivable.
  3. Many couples continue in relationships with high respect flowing only one way, toward the man. Women learn to live with reduced respect and mutual toleration. Thus, men have frequent and convenient sex at lowest cost to their interest.
  4. Men blame other reasons for disrespecting a woman they choose to drop, dump, or abandon. (They exemplify the adage, ‘Never trust what people say motivates them’.)

The rest of the story ends here: Men lose respect for women that don’t hamper and prevent men from satisfying their sexual wishes. Women are kept unaware by the males’ natural drive to dominate. The roots go back a few decades. The Dark Side of Feminism series makes this point: Feminists seek to eliminate patriarchy, but they have only increased male dominance.

At this point, I prefer to drop the subject. I know many objections are forthcoming. However, unless you wish to dispute the natural aspects that I cover, I wish no further comment. We’ve nothing to gain enlarging a subject more appropriate at other blogs.

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1273. Keepers for Keepers—Assortment 35


  1. The more grateful the female to be female, the greater her ability to offset, live with, and even overcome male dominance.
  2. Women sing: ♫ I can do anything he can do better.♫ Men respond: ♫ Just you wait and see. ♫
  3. A man’s love can’t coexist with disrespect shown to him.
  4. A man’s sense of significance crumbles, if his woman continually demeans who he is or what he does.
  5. Men appreciate cheap and easy sex. But, they don’t much value unearned gifts.
  6. Females associate with the testosterone-driven pop culture and become like those in it—just as our mothers predicted.
  7. To each man interested in her, she’s a sex object. She yields and becomes something else. She does not yield and becomes something better.
  8. Modest attire sends the message she’s interested in long-term relationships. Immodest attire signals she’s interested in men, period.
  9. Everything looks and tastes better when you’re grateful.

 

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889. Female Sexual Freedom: A Right or a Wrong?


Nature works this way:

  • Women value men according to each man’s potential or actual worth in fulfilling her hopes and dreams for home and family. Men value women in three stages: first for conquest, then for sexual availability, and finally for support in carrying out his missions in life.
  • Men respond to how and why females act as they do, what females value, and what females expect in order for men to have frequent and convenient access to sex. Females are thus empowered to mandate female-friendly and supportive behavior in males. But do they?

Modern women short-circuit these Nature-based interactions and ignore centuries-old lessons. They lay claim to masculine-style sexual practice as their due and ‘right’. However, the consequences work against women, teens, and even pre-pubescent girls.

Females practicing masculine-style sexual freedom empower males to escape responsibility and obligations for what each man sees as her greatest asset: first time sex with him. Female sexual freedom also damages relationship permanence:

  • If she’s so cheap and easy for him, she must also be the same or easier for other men. This dampens any extraordinariness he may have perceived in her before conquest.
  • She gives readily, and he takes easily after paying attention to little but sex. Men escape proving themselves worthy of such women.
  • Less proving their worth as potential husbands means no social pressures build to favor the female gender, to make females more respected generally. This emboldens and hardens male dominance, which women so eagerly criticize. But worse, it also means less respect earned by women breeds more abuse and violence against them.
  • Frequent and convenient sex with no pressure to learn something new reinforces that men need not change for women or a woman. This makes men even more unchangeable, more difficult to civilize, ‘tame’, and domesticate.
  • Men not successfully pressured to ease up on their natural aggressiveness and sense of independence produce less reliable men—at least as women consider them for domestic life. 
  • Less pressure, minimal testing, and lower qualifications for worth to females means that fewer men become qualified for sustained relationships.
  • Fewer qualified men means women spend a lot more time picking, choosing, ditching, and either putting unworthy men back in the parade or marrying Mr. Wrong. Mr. Good Enough becomes much harder to find.

Masculine-style sexual freedom promotes these things: Men go from conquest to conquest to conquest. Women become his ex, another’s ex, and yet another’s ex. Children go from uncertainty to pain to misery on parental breakups and witness no examples for doing differently in their adulthood.

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867. Gender Differences Revisited — Group X


  • A woman’s love shows up as words and actions that reveal her affection. As she demonstrates affection and loving kindness, she becomes more loving of the object of that affection. A man’s love shows up with his producing, providing, protecting, and problem-solving for someone for whom he feels responsible. His loving actions confirm to him his love for that someone.
  • The internal forces that push a man forward—qualities such as work ethic, responsibility, rugged individualism—are comparable to the internal forces that warm a woman’s psyche such as love, affection, and intimacy.
  • Women complain about male dominance. The more a woman likes herself as a female for being female, and the more feminine she portrays herself as such, then the less she permits men to dominate her. Men learn easily to use much softer gloves with women they highly respect. And men respect friendly and feminine females that exploit their unique nature to the fullest—which excludes as a guy, man, feminist, radical, or something else.
  • In the matter of self-respect, self-worth, and self-confidence: Women expand and strengthen those qualities after they capture a boyfriend, mate, or husband. Men possess those qualities before capturing a mate, and if wife weakens them, she makes herself more burden than blessing.
  • Women disclose their feelings easily; they view very open relationships as non-threatening. Men don’t need open relationships, and they don’t disclose feelings, unless it helps accomplish something.

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