Category Archives: sex differences

2703. Minimize Risk of Husband Cheating — The Root Cause


Any mature man worthy of being depended on as a mate has certain traits that make up his worthiness. It’s not what a woman sees on the outside. When screening men, a woman should expect that these convictions exist within.

  • His self-respect exceeds his respect of others until each person earns much more than he originally detects and judges. (Women differ.)
  • He’s committed to successful accomplishments in his life. He expects to achieve what he aims at, and he works and perhaps fights hard to avoid failing or defer failure.
  • He knows he’s already good enough for any woman that will have him as her mate and lover. Consequently, he expects to fittingly sell himself to win a likeable object of his respect, lust, or love.
  • He does things and thinks and worries about physical connections. (Women differ.)
  • A likeable woman remains that as long as he’s satisfied with who she is and what she does. His initial feelings and the respect she earns make her likeable, but his satisfaction rests more on masculine values and expectations than her feelings about him.
  • He judges her by what he thinks. (Women differ.)
  • He seeks self-satisfaction that tends to confirm his admiration as a man. (Women differ.)
  • His prime mission in life is to keep himself satisfied with who he is, what he does, and who he does it with. (Women differ.)

Then, he marries the most likeable woman who earns his respect for who she is and what she does and can do, which are his personal standards for living with someone. IOW, her feelings about him are secondary to his expectations.

Consequently, he marries a woman good enough when they meet at the altar. But does she remain so? Does he remain satisfied with 1) committing himself to his altar-mate? 2) Devoting his life to their future together? 3) Preparing for what he can become with her dedicated to support his life? 4) Promising to brighten her future? It remains to be seen as married life unfolds.

The root cause of husband’s venturing into the cheating game lies here. Wife becomes different than husband expects. She sees him differently once he’s legally obligated. She doesn’t treat him as in courtship. She finds fault with him or his efforts. She spotlights his weaknesses and tries to do something about them. She imposes guilt trying to change him. She nags and criticizes and expects his reactions to favor her expectations. She tries to recover from having not screened him well enough, from having chosen wrongly. In short, she acts childishly to make him appear childish.

Women focus so hard on capturing a husband that they don’t screen adequately or know themselves well enough to be the good wife, defined by husbands as the one he courted and who acts the same before and after marriage.

IOW, he’s not the man she intended or hoped to marry and she intends to improve him, confirm that he’s not worthy of her, or recover the best she can. A little room exists within the character of a husband to permit her ‘recovery’ tactics. But not a lot.

He detects lack of respect, ingratitude, and unwillingness to depend on him. All of which corrupts her likeability and his sense of satisfaction living with her.

The more she becomes different from his bride’s behavior, the more quickly he considers looking elsewhere for the recognition that he thinks he deserves. Wife cheats him of his dignity, self-satisfaction, and consequent self-admiration, and his cheating on her is the most easily recognized method for husband’s recovery, respite, or revenge.

WADWMUFGAO. When wife feels good putting him down, he finds recovery outside the home. Hence, the root cause of husbandly infidelity is wifely dissatisfaction with husband’s inability to live up to her expectations that in all probability changed after the ceremony.

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2701. Minimize Risk of Husband Cheating — The How


Q. What should wives avoid to keep husband at home?

A. The strongest magnets in the marital world are these. Her likeability to him and his likeability to her as he sees it reflected from what she does — more than what she says — to keep him satisfied with himself. Men lack but women possess the relationship expertise to make all that happen. Consequently, wife has to take charge. She has to keep herself likeable to him and show that he’s likeable to her by doing whatever it takes to keep him satisfied with himself. It’s how she runs the marital show.

By maximizing mutual likeability, smarter wives generate the greatest insurance against their man cheating. By following just a few of the ‘wrongs’ described below, less-alert wives may encourage masculine infidelity.

The less-feminine woman can much too easily drive her man to cheat. She doesn’t care or can’t understand how her actions program husband against her interests. Actions and words that wife considers necessary very often register differently with hubby. For example, husband’s reactions to her unsolicited advice, recurring complaints, and constructive criticism cripple her likeability.

The bullets that follow describe what wives do contrary to husbandly interests that adversely impact mutual likeability and initiate husband’s thoughts of another woman. When a man is dissatisfied with his woman, self-satisfaction as a man becomes more important to him than that of a husband. IOW, for example, if wife tends to emasculate him, he looks to restore his self-image as a man rather than as a husband.

Here are some examples that work contrary to a husband’s interests.

  • She loses or never had enough self-gratitude as a woman to make a good wife. She feels undeserving. She finds fault in life and blames others rather than finding gratefulness for who she is and what she has. Mutual likeability declines.
  • She doesn’t respect husband enough for who he is as person, man, husband, friend, lover, and father. She caught him but now considers him to be inadequate, at least partially. She probably could have done better, which curtails her pride in him and reduces her potential to be faithful as he views her loyalty. Her likeability declines.
  • She doesn’t depend on him enough for what he does as provider, protector, producer, fixer-upper, and rescuer when they need a recovery. Thus, she effectively admits that he’s less than necessary and under appreciated. She’s less likeable.
  • Some wives continually complain about far too much. Husbands have one of three reactions: a) What he can fix, he does. b) What he can’t fix, he feels guilty because he can’t relieve his woman’s disappointment. Men don’t accept guilt from someone else and he resents it. c) Her complaints amount to just chatter or gossip that are meaningless to him. By not learning how he reacts to her complaints, she begins to complain about his having too little empathy or paying too little attention to her. New complaints trigger the same reactions as before.
  • She doesn’t express her gratitude enough for how he enhances their life together. She takes him too far down the road that she abhors for herself—she takes him for granted. Men don’t argue against being taken for granted. However, when it morphs into his dissatisfaction with who he is and what he does, her likeability begins to fade.
  • Because she doesn’t get enough attention and affection, he doesn’t live up to her expectations. She thinks he doesn’t deserve a lot of respect, confirmation of her dependence, and her gratitude. Mutual likeability declines.
  • If her expectations change after they marry, she becomes a different woman than the bride he expected to live with. It disappoints a husband and weakens her likeability.
  • She feels denied his attention, affection, and recognition of her contributions and importance. It programs her heart with resentment, resistance, and eventual bitterness. She questions the rightness of husband’s presence in her life. If he detects it, he takes offense, feels dissatisfied, and her likeability shrinks.
  • She begrudges his always getting his way in present-day matters. Her competitive spirit drives her to resent him, even though he’s willing to let her run their relationship as she aims it into the future. Resentment poisons a woman’s likeability.

In short, the heart and mind that governs a wife’s life on behalf of wedded harmony determines how her marriage will proceed and succeed. Husband is in charge of keeping them together as a couple, she’s in charge of making married life worthwhile and satisfying.

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2697. Refresher Thoughts — 13


  1. Men are grateful for what they do; accomplishment makes men satisfied with themselves. Women are grateful for what they have; the more grateful, the happier they are.
  2. For a man to feel good about himself, he need only plan, tackle, and complete some task either for himself or someone he loves. It satisfies him for the present. For a woman to feel good about herself, she need only find gratitude in something or somebody. It satisfies her momentarily and lifts her spirits.
  3. Children should never outrank father. When a man plays second fiddle in his mate’s home orchestra, he’s prompted to cancel his union membership and look to play a set or two elsewhere.
  4. As wife, she has responsibility to convince husband he is numero uno, period. As mother, she convinces all kids that husband outranks everyone else in home and family, but each child is convinced they rank foremost in mom’s heart.
  5. The mushy-headed woman accepts a man’s words instead of taking time to test and judge his actions. She believes too easily what men tell her, and so she falls for offers that favor his interest far beyond her own.
  6. Without using feminine thinking shaped around female-friendly principles and her standards, a woman can’t separate a good man for marrying from a man good for fun and games. Example: He wants to take her off for a weekend. She agrees only if they have separate rooms.
  7. Some women want their own man so badly they sign up with almost any male offer. Mushy thinking, aka following only their feelings causes short relationships.
  8. When a woman lets infatuation guide her into easy sex and she gets dumped, she overlooks her female best interest. Convinced by guilt that she deserves no better causes her to take up with the worst of men. Such as, the self-centered man full of himself who uses venomous words that parboil her self-esteem, reduce her self-image, and subvert her self-interest. [1908]

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2695. Sex Differences No Longer Matter


There’s an old navy abbreviation, O.B.E.—overtaken by events, obsolete, and no longer expected to work as previously.

The feminist changeover of America grows older and bolder, and it makes knowledge of sex differences OBE. Interest in this blog also becomes OBE.

Trends tell us what’s coming. Dating is well on the road to becoming outmoded. By way of meeting and greeting others, friendly hook up rises in popularity. Immature college campus values and standards now convert mainstream maturity to immaturity under the excuse of feminist-think.

In the feminist model of cultural change, restrictions on sexual encounters move toward personal taste and away from moral, religious, and female-friendly principles. It foretells two effects:

1) One’s taste varies greatly compared to living by standards and principles, and so it foreshadows relationships that struggle without a backdrop of firm beliefs to guide the partners.

2) In the not too-distant future, and perhaps already here, less than highly attractive women will be less likely to find a suitable mate. A man’s taste begins with a woman’s appearance and is enhanced by her virtues. Sex without the experience of chaste dating means no incentive to discover her weaknesses that lead to conquest, which would normally lead to his uncovering qualities he can admire, aka virtues. Men seek to marry a virtuous woman, but if a man has no need to discover her weaknesses, her virtues don’t appear to him. Men don’t look for virtues, they discover them in the process of dating and trying to bed her. Without discovering her virtues and they subsequently marry, he does so with too little info to stick with her. His taste changes when romantic love fades, for example, and she’s not virtuous enough to keep him attached.

Women expect to develop successful relationships, but without dating they have little with which to negotiate and manage their relationships. They can plead old school cultural values and standards, rules that granny passed down, but those are OBE since the earliest stages of feminist-think.

Female interest in sex differences fade as feminist-think convinces women that men are no darn good as currently positioned in society. Consequently, feminist-inspired women either act like men or disrespectfully ignore how men are different.

Powerful feminist-dedicated women capture and hold wimpish men alongside. Less powerful women go with hopes and dreams unfulfilled. By exploiting sex differences, every woman has power over a man. By the female gender exploiting feminist values, standards, and expectations, many women are rendered powerless because it works contrary to their feminine nature and initiates confusion. A confused woman can’t hold a good man as her mate, so she looks for other options.

Since society is what we all do and culture is why we do it, feminists have conquered the culture and convinced us that men are no good and women should rule. Men have not been asked but forced to play the feminist game. The repercussions may not be pretty for women; men have been known to serve revenge on a cold platter. I daily see the lack of manly respect being shown to women; they are valued no more highly than other men. It may get worse.

This post began as a plea for questions about the no-dating scene and how women can become successful dealing with men in the quickie hook-up arena. I seek new info about what’s happening across society, so I can figure out how women can be more successful when sex differences aren’t recognized as important.

I welcome all questions and anecdotes about what’s happening as dating becomes OBE.

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2692. Tradeoffs in Marriage #05


  1. He’s responsible to keep their marriage intact. She’s responsible to keep their relationship intact. Call it subordination if you will, but the arrangement exploits the abilities of both in the best way. (Also, domains function most reliably when there’s only one boss.)
  2. Necessity is the mother of a wife’s stream of actions. Frustration is the father of trying to get husband to please her as if he’s a woman.
  3. Wives seek to be happy. It arises when she acts grateful for who she is and what she has. Husbands seek to be comfortable in life away from job. It comes with his planning and freedom from interruptions.
  4. Wife seeks to be loved, cherished, and glorified as important in her multitude of duties. Husband seeks to be admired, respected, and depended upon for what he contributes as the essential man.
  5. Husband expects fidelity, respect, and admiration and even more than her love. Wife expects displays of affectionate love, recognition of her importance, and support to get her way in relationship and domestic matters. (The pressures from feminists teach men that “I love you” is usually enough, however insincere it may be.)
  6. Convinced wife can do better at what she does, husband corrects what he sees as inefficient or ineffective. Knowing it will take decades to improve him, wife ignores his shortcomings.
  7. Men do womanly things when it’s their own idea. It takes a good woman to convince husband that his ideas are more worthy than his expenditure of effort.

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2691. Tradeoffs in Marriage #04


  1. He likes to claim titles that make him feel powerful and in charge, such as king, CEO, or boss. Less interested in titles, she has the power that holds everything together for marital success. She’s seemingly overly burdened, but that’s not the destiny of one who successfully governs home and harmonizes family. Only the loss of pride, self-respect, or his love truly burden her excessively.
  2. When he cherishes her, his definition of it is just fine; she’s so proud and his version is fine.When she’s not cherished, her imagination comes up with all kinds of expectations that he could never satisfy, because she’s in the habit of finding him wanting.
  3. She doesn’t intrude in the domain where he is responsible, unless asked. He doesn’t intrude in her domain of responsibility, unless asked.
  4. She accepts full responsibility for raising the children until first grade. He accepts responsibility as back up in discipline matters and fun resource.
  5. Satisfied with who he is and what he does means satisfied with his marriage. Satisfied with her marriage means satisfied with who he is and what he does. Thus, the marriage revolves around his satisfaction with himself.
  6. If she governs home and family well, her attitude is infectious. His interest enables him to interact in spurts, and his attitude reflects from his direct participation and desire to please her.
  7. Husbands dream of what they can do. Wives dream of what they can have. (Contradictions arise from refusal to respect the dream-rights of each other.)

Truly cherished is missing in the life of many wives, which means it’s the gravy on a meat and potato relationship that she makes work anyway.

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2689. Tradeoffs in Marriage #02


Here are a few more ounces of prevention—that is, agreeable pressures—that help stabilize and keep a marriage on track. A couple’s time together works it out mostly behind the scenes, easily accepted and settled in background.

  1. He’s convinced by her love and keeping him satisfied that she’s faithful. She’s convinced that he loves her by his apparent satisfaction living together pleasantly. His cherishing her doubles her conviction.
  2. Sexual relations that satisfy occur when she’s happy with the intimacy he provides, and he’s convinced that she appreciates his performance.
  3. He’s convinced by his nature that he needs no improvements in lovemaking. She thinks he needs a lot. Nevertheless, they continue as before with her being disappointed for lack of aptitude or fear of offending him. (To the peacekeeper, unfair is tolerable.)
  4. Her likeability keeps him living with her. Who he is and what he contributes keeps her living with him.
  5. His steadfast connection to her depends much on her steadfast admiration of him; he presumes admiration includes her respect, dependence, and gratitude. Her steadfast connection to him depends on his satisfying her expectations of his responsibility to her and family.
  6. They agree to divide marital responsibility. He’s overall in charge of their marriage, and his domain includes his job, hobby, (clicker?), and all else that he claims as his alone. She governs her domain that includes all else. (This works far better when they arrange it openly rather than letting it develop in background.)
  7. Husband and wife agree not to intrude in the other’s domain unless invited; it keeps his influence in home and family subject to her final authority and keeps her from intruding in matters about his job—unless invited, of course. It also expands mutual trust.

To the extent that couples work out agreeable pressures that shape their thoughts and behaviors such as those above, they find less to complain about.

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