Category Archives: sex differences

2465. Follow Up on Satisfying a Husband

Post 2456 described two ingredients that wives provide that surpass all else to fulfill a husband’s wish for marriage. He’s happy as women call it, but men don’t do ‘happy’. A man’s equivalent of happy is satisfaction; in this case that he’s comfortably situated in marriage.

Things go smoothly when wife smiles regularly in his presence and she doesn’t complain to him. Her smiles reassure him and lack of complaints confirm that he needn’t worry, all goes well. He must not be guilty of anything, so he’s not done wrong or disappointed her. It’s what he expects from having been so particular in selecting the right woman to marry. Her smiling and agreeable countenance confirms his astute judgment and satisfaction.

She has to, of course, first want to do all that; it’s nearly impossible but she’s highly skilled. Not as simple as I describe it, but two guiding lights help wife satisfy husband. It puts her directly in control of how well and comfortably he fits the saddle on their marital horse. Keep him happily mounted on his charger, and it frees her up to make their marriage successful and future brighter.

But he has another saddle, and the same ingredients add some more satisfaction. The identity of many if not most men includes their primary vehicle. Part of his reputation among men is wrapped up in it. It’s part of who he is among competitors, his significance, even if he can’t afford what he dreams of but lives with second best. And it’s especially more true of functional vehicles such as the truck he uses for his business.

His vehicle will provide the equivalent of smiles if he has what he admires. Also, he should hear no complaints from it. Squeaks, rattles, broken parts, and features that don’t function are complaints so he tends to spend freely on it. The more admiring care he puts into maintaining its beauty and operability and preventing complaints, the more valuable and smilingly it calls to him for another ride and adds to his sense of satisfaction with himself.

Any lessening of husband’s desire to drive his dream machine in favor of helping their relationship survive is a sign that wife caught a good one, if she can keep him. (It’s mighty easy for wife to overdo it, to expect hubby to give up too much for her in order to prove her importance or his love.)


Filed under Dear daughter, How she wins, marriage, sex differences

2458. Journey to Feminine — Part 11

The most popular tactics that women have to pique a man’s curiosity, stir his imagination, and hold his interest come naturally to the feminine woman. Moreover, the tactics die in the presence of Feminism.

  • Her heart finds it easy to generate ladylike behavior and inspire it in others.
  • Feminine mystique takes a man’s focus off a single mother’s burdens, status, and expectations. Mystery expands his self-interest toward lifting burdens.
  • Modesty attracts men; its uniqueness creates its own mystique and slows a man’s high flying self-confidence.
  • Modest attire and manner shift male eyes from sex and onto her as a lady. It opens her role as woman and more than just a sex object.

Obeying her feminine heart more dynamically guides a woman. More easily she can bypass feminist-think and slip naturally into behaviors that present her best qualities when dealing with men. Such as these:

♣ Feminine women don’t permit masculine grossness in their presence on the basis that it dishonors female dignity. By defending her dignity, she earns manly respect, which is essential for a man’s love.

♣ Feminine women in principle don’t accept masculine-style sexual freedom as desirable female behavior. It turns love making into coarse primal urges. Expecting her to participate offends those who conscientiously expect to be treated as a lady.

♣ Feminine spirit avoids ‘getting in his face’. Avoidance protects a woman’s ability to win a man’s cooperation and shape his thoughts and behavior.

♣ Feminine women use their natural flexibility. It flows out of female soft-heartedness, mothering instinct, cooperative spirit, and other qualities. All of which is monitored by their inborn hard-headedness. A feminine woman appears that much more unique, because men lack that natural flexibility for identifying much less smoothing out the wrinkles of life.

♣ Feminine women expect no legal assistance to elevate women over men. They know how to overcome male dominance and promote male worthiness. Handling the remainder they face makes their gender superior.

♣ Feminine women keep the political, legal, and economic status of females out of the home. They know it can backfire into turmoil and damage a relationship.

♣ Feminine women know not to use anger and ridicule to put a man ‘in his place’. The proper place for her man is either alongside or pursuing her and not driven away with short temper or vengeful thoughts.

♣ Feminine woman energizes husband to keep his seed at home. Being neither sycophant nor slave, she respects his domination, expresses gratitude for who he is, and confirms with actions her dependence on what he does. She eagerly salutes his sense of significance and just as eager not to weaken his significance in bed.

♣ The feminine spirit makes women think less like men. They find solace in thinking of ‘you before me’ and ‘us before you or me’. Thus enabled, it encourages them to exploit their natural expertise for holding a man.

In addition to more freely yielding unmarried sex, feminist-think prompts younger women to make more fundamental mistakes dealing with men. We look at reversing that next.

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Filed under courtship, feminine, Feminism: OOPS!, Her glory, How she wins, marriage, sex differences

2457. Consequences of Rejection for Sex

Modern society works different than expected and directly against women. It produces certain motivations on all men and intolerable effects on some.

Old school. Most women seek marriage before sex. When a woman denies sex to the man, he doesn’t take rejection personally. He blames the rejectionist for moral, religious, or female hang-ups, and it assuages his ego. His self-esteem and self-image may take hits, but he recovers easily. He understands that each woman is in charge of sexual mores and her own assets, and his self-interest keeps him in pursuit until discouraged or he conquers her. Sex targets are normal and men pursue without taking rejection so personal they want to punish the unyielding.

New school. When most females provide free, open, and even casual sex with little or no commitment, males take rejection personally. A man knows she’s doing it with other guys but not him. Why just him? His self-esteem bottoms out. His self-image as a ‘good man’ with a woman dwindles. His ego takes a humongous hit after his imagination ruminates over each gal’s put-down. His self-interest shifts toward inflicting revenge.

Some males cannot recover from one and much less repeated refusals. Repeated rejections can spin boy or man toward awful revenge—think stalkers, school massacres, date rapists, serial rapists.

It’s easy to blame men; they are supposed to be civilized and women have no influence over them acting otherwise. It’s because women don’t know jack about Jack or enough about Jill.

Men are programmed at birth to accomplish things, and first time sex with attractive women ranks high among their ambitions. It’s their first call to order on this planet. Their prime motivation of self-admiration aims them at accomplishments, and attractive women are everywhere. Ambitions aim them at the possible. Conquests produce personal satisfaction, which is the equivalent of female happiness. The accumulation of satisfactions delivers a sense of significance, aka their ego, which women love to cite as basis for blame.

As with women, frustration over something vital can induce unusual and even strange behavior. In older times, requests for sex followed a lengthy date/courtship, a road that men had to pave even before they asked. Modern women have so few and low hurdles that men expect a quick dash to the bed. Hurdles knock down easily and road doesn’t need paving. Just gravel to fill mud holes caused by inconvenience.

I claim old school culture was superior to fulfill women’s ambitions for a lifelong marriage and family. But that’s not the purpose here.

Men possess two very different sex drives as described in 2423. The primary drive aims to conquer attractive females and move on to the next. The old school culture harnessed and tamed that drive to give women a better chance at marriage and family; men had to obligate themselves to achieve sexual conquest.

New school culture removes restrictions and men are free to elevate their most primitive but most urgent sex drive to hit and run. They don’t obligate themselves because women don’t require it. Marriage is both tougher to achieve and rougher to keep. Women like to blame men, but men are having none of it and their desire to marry grows weaker each year. As women go so goes society.


Filed under courtship, marriage, old school, sex differences

2456. Men Expect This in Marriage

Perhaps this is why men are seen as simple beings. It compares how men are different at birth from what women criticize later in life.

He marries expecting that HIS marriage will be simple and thus good. He screens and tests her to be sure their life together will turn out to match his decision-making hopes. He has an inadequately defined short list of expectations for her. (However, it will grow later and lose simplicity when he sees things he can’t respect, like, or tolerate.)

A prospective bride can list and visualize dozens of clearly defined expectations to fulfill HER marriage. IOW, what she expects of husband to fulfill her hopes and dreams. Do you see a possibility for disconnect? He expects simple; she plots the opposite.

Most of what she expects, he doesn’t know are plans for him. She may explain a lot, but the details escape him. She over-prepares and he under-prepares. He’s mostly willing to step into his marital shoes, because he knows he can handle whatever she can’t. All will go well until it doesn’t. That’s how he faces the future or he wouldn’t play the game. Should something go wrong, he will deal with it if she can’t.

So, they marry and start living together with his expecting it to duplicate their courtship relationship. Her bright smiles and no complaints signify that she’s happy, or so he muses. Since happy is not a state that men seek, her smiles confirm that she’s satisfied. That must include him or she’d be complaining. She must have everything well in hand. For the most part she excludes him from everyday problems. He’s satisfied that she takes care of home while he takes care of outside the home. His satisfaction is the equivalent of her happiness that he measures by her satisfied smiles and lack of complaints.

So, he needn’t worry, he must be pleasing her, no reason to feel guilty, and all goes well. He expects it to continue forever. It’s the man’s view of how marriage works and succeeds.

It’s how things ought to be. His expectations are met and he’s free to continue with his daily goals that produce self-satisfaction. It’s what he expects from his marriage; she makes everything come out just fine.

On that basis, their process of marital compatibility continues when reinforced by her actions and supportive words. Since respect and trust are reciprocal, then her continuous smiles without complaint signify that she’s happy and it keeps this process in motion: 1) His trust reveals that she handles everything well, which signifies to her that he respects her. 2) His respect of her returns to him as her trust of him, which satisfies him that he accomplishes what he seeks. 3) His increased respect of her shows up as increased trust of her. 4) Her fear of being abandoned fades away as his respect and trust of her accumulate. 5) With less fear, anxiety moves aside, and she keeps her smiles in place and registers no or few complaints. 6) He satisfies himself that marriage was a good decision. 7) His satisfaction and trust empower her to harmonize home and relationship to suit her intentions. She’s free to pursue the happiness that won’t come to her fully until late in life when her girlhood hopes and dreams are realized.

And that, dear ladies, is the way men are hardwired to expect life with a woman. With that process in place, men go happily along with hopes and ego firmly rooted in having done the right thing to choose her and their love blossoms on the strength of her ability to simplify life together.

Now ladies, I know you object. The burden seems all on her. But you see, she’s born that way and so is he. She’s blessed with but he lacks all the talent and skills to make their life simple and therefore good to him. So, if she doesn’t, a happy lifetime marriage doesn’t get done.

P.S. One lady’s description of her experience draws this confirming picture. My thanks to Insanitybytes22:

“This was really well said. I remember when we were first married my husband would often protest, “I’m a simple man!” I had no idea what that even meant. He really did think all I needed to do was smile and not complain and all would be well in his world. Women aren’t like that at all, we are far more complex and involved in all the details of everyday life. So hubby would frustrate me no end, because he couldn’t understand that my life was not simple at all.

“It took a while, but over the years I learned that it really is that simple, he is pleased, happy, content if I simply smile and don’t complain. That’s all he needs. My life is certainly not simple, but pleasing my husband really is. We women have a tendency to try to do all these “things” and “stuff,” when in fact it often [is] the simplest of things that bring contentment to men. Once hubby became content, I was free to create my own contentment for myself and that’s when things began to get really good.”


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, marriage, sex differences

2455. — Blame and Complain Don’t Work and ‘Tired’ is Subtle

Again, I use hyperbole to describe the imperceptible effects of a wife routinely claiming tiredness. I make it appear worse than it probably is to more clearly describe the effects on the psyche of husband and her.

In no way do I claim that she isn’t tired—perhaps all the time—for whatever she blames (there’s that dirty word). I do claim it’s both mental and physical and, therefore, more easily defeated in order to preserve her composure, dignity, and enjoyment of life. Rejecting the term and doing something else also protects her marriage.

Subtle advantages accrue to wife and hidden advantages accrue to husband when she refuses to admit that she’s tired. Oh, she gets tired all right, but her feminine ability to intuitively turn her thoughts to something else are possible, practical, and beneficial.

When women get tired at job or home, they don’t stop doing what they intend to do. They finish the day’s work, change the baby, do the dishes, clean the house, do the laundry, tend to sick husband, call sick mother for an encouraging chat, and think through how they will handle tomorrow’s schedule and stresses. So, being tired doesn’t stop but it leaves them frustrated that they can’t do what’s needed more enjoyably—or even do more. IOW, they love their importance about what they do, but they wish their tiredness was less discouraging of enjoyment. Tired and enjoyment become mutually exclusive, but it needn’t be that way.

Wife claims to husband that she’s tired as she continues to cook, wash dishes, clean the house, or not do what husband wants to do. She may be looking for sympathy or recognition of her dedication.

Females nearby recognize her hard work and easily extend sympathy to her, but husband isn’t as eager. He may offer a pat on the head or tad of sympathy or even a helping hand, but it’s seldom enough.

Basically, men are not tuned to respond favorably to such complaints. If he’s tired, he does something about it. It’s the male nature. He instinctively takes a break to relieve it.

He doesn’t relate well with indirect pleas for sympathy or recognition. Rather than solicit thoughts and feelings from others, he takes a break that confirms his independent ability and avoids dependence on others. In short, he’s more an individualist and she is different.

Unintentionally and without knowing it, tired women discourage or guilt their  husbands. Whether she’s truly or just acting like a victim, someone else must be to blame for her working so long and hard, and he’s the most likely by his doing little to satisfy her. Probably unknown to her, but he receives “I’m tired” as he should feel guilty, which men arbitrarily reject. However, we can’t escape thoughts that enter our minds.

The mental side first. Here’s a model of what women are very capable of. They can do this reasonably easy. It fits their feminine nature to be mysterious about hidden abilities that lead to female success.

  1. The thought enters her mind that she’s terribly tired at the moment. At the first thought she shifts her thinking to find and remind herself of those or that for which she’s grateful. Big or little, hugely or conditionally grateful, she immediately begins counting her blessings. Then, she turns to doing something else to match her new thoughts.
  2. Husband comes quickly to mind. She has gratitude on her mind, loves to share it, and so she figures to please him. If for no other reason, she’s grateful for having him around. So, rather than focus on herself, she moves into action.
  3. Perhaps after finishing the dishes, she flops down in the den with him. During the next commercial, she speaks lovingly. “You know, honey, after a long (not tough or tiring) day, nothing rewards me better and comforts me more than you in bed where you do what you do best. I might even be more than just available if you’d tease me up a little bit first.” (Now we all know that she’s too tired for such action. But when she sets aside those thoughts of tired and begins to enjoy intimate possibilities with a husband inspired by her compliment that he’s good in bed and possibly more willing to please her, it can displace tiredness long enough to forget it. Sleep follows easily and tiredness fades or vice versa.)
  4. Another example: At the sink she feels tired. She stops, turns to husband and proposes they make love. He says no, not now. She says, okay. I’m going to shower and then come finish the dishes. She’s capable of independently changing her feelings, but it takes different actions than her current busyness. If he’s devoted or figures she deserves some sympathy, he may finish the dishes while she showers. Her new challenge: How to reward him for that kindness? (What he figures she needs motivates him more than what she tells him.)
  5. Another example: She’s very tired but they have to go out. The baby needs changing before they depart. She says, “Honey, have you noticed lately that the baby recognizes your face and smiles when you smile? He’s so cute when you tend to him. By the way, don’t let me forget to change him before we go.” Whether he takes the hint or not is immaterial. She got her thoughts off of being tired and her spirit is more enjoyable to baby and husband.
  6. There can even be simpler ways. Whatever changes her mind to think about anything other than tired. Anything. She can forget the word and the prospects for hurt feelings, if she can just focus on something else that she finds pleasant or rewarding. Gratitude for who she is and what she has is the best starting point.

These are more possibilities than certainties, but men are not like women. When wife claims of tiredness, husband may internally absorb one or more of these thoughts whether he responds to her or not. He thinks: 1) I must be to blame, but what am I supposed to do about it? I’m not expecting her to work that hard, not cracking any whip. 2) I’m expected to relieve her tiredness or do something else she wants to do? What? Let her tell me directly what she expects. 3) She wouldn’t be tired if she weren’t working so hard to please herself, she’s overly duty bound. But I can’t tell her that.

Another version starts with the old phrase, “Not tonight, honey, I’m too tired.” In which case he absorbs this message: “I guess I’m not the lover I think I am. If I were, she’d overlook tired because good sex is so therapeutic.”

Wife probably never intends for him to take her complaints that way. But over time they can accumulate negatively and can irritate sufficiently to offend. He absorbs reminders of his shortcomings and she loses some of her likeability.

Now for the physical side. Dehydration is a major cause of tiredness. Coffee and tea are diuretics. Soft drinks are laced with so much sugar that letdowns follow. Decaf and diet drinks are not good substitutes for water.

I have for many years followed a regimen of coffee and tea in the morning and at least three pints of tap water per day. I avoid ice—except iced tea—as it puts me under stress. Anytime I feel tired, I think dehydration. I immediately load up on at least two pints of tap water. (Two bottles after a 4-mile swim across Chesapeake Bay restored me so quickly I felt ready to swim back.) Escaping dehydration has never failed me. My tiredness shortly fades; I’m rejuvenated and my attitude changes totally away from tired.

Probably no one ever suspected that a woman’s habitual “I’m tired” could provoke disenchantment in a husband. But think about his hearing that complaint over and over for years. It probably contributes if other things tend to sour a marriage.

A better life awaits the wife who refuses to tolerate the terms exhausted and tired in her thoughts and speech. It’s simple with a new habit. With a little practice, she shifts her thoughts to something else until it become intuitive.

All of that above would not be worthy of addressing were it not for this conviction. When women work from a base of gratefulness, they can find endless alternatives that improve connections with a man and lead to their own happiness. The very term ‘tired’ discourages wives from both.


Filed under feminine, marriage, sex differences, The mind

2454. Blame and Complain: An Unsurprising Reaction

Her Highness Milena at 2453 makes a good case to justify what women do today. It’s logical, reasonable, stems from pop culture, which stems from Feminism, but which doesn’t work all that successfully with men. Such belief puts women at disadvantage because of the very different nature of men and women.

Without knowing why, modern women find that marital solidarity kind of weakens or fades. Husband just doesn’t work out to be the man a woman expects. It’s a sign that he dislikes what’s happening around him, and she’s usually in charge of that.

So, I have to verbalize why Milena’s model seems to work but believers unsuspectingly produce what they don’t want. Her paragraphs follow broken up so my comments can follow her statements.

“I’m a bit confused. I’ve read elsewhere that it’s better to be clear and direct towards men (in a respectful way of course, as we would treat anyone) because men are not good at taking hints.” It’s accurate and well-phrased. It’s the modern mantra developed to confirm equality. However, men do take hints; they simply pay more attention to people they highly respect. (Admittedly, women are more skillful at taking hints, and so they expect men to be the same.)

“And to back up your directness with actions instead of talking about it endlessly until the man zones you out. (I guess the latter would be considered complaining!)” Directness with actions should resolve her problem. Example: ‘Honey, the hose was leaking and flooding my flower bed. So, I tightened the fitting and it worked’. It’s a good reason to mention it. Her fixing it changes a complaint into more self-respect, which enables her to show more respect for hubby, which he sees as greater worth in her, which then strengthens the marital process.

“I don’t see how it’s healthy for a woman to always have to hide what is bothering her, or am I misunderstanding you?” You’re right. It’s not healthy but it’s not unhealthy either. If she’s looking for a solution or working on resolving what bothers her, hiding it doesn’t bother her. OTOH, if she’s so frustrated that she has to dump it on hubby, surrounding every frustration is a swarm of gratitude that can calm the frustration. She does, however, need to teach herself to let frustration trigger her to look for what all she otherwise possesses. Finding gratitude has a very calming effect on the female nature.

“Wouldn’t a man who is devoted to her want to know if there is something wrong, so he could try and fix it?” Absolutely, but it’s all in the telling. Directness can too easily come across as an order. Indirectness can easily come across as she depends on him.

“Of course we all need to take responsibility for our feelings and learn to make ourselves happy….” Dumping her problems on hubby does not make her happy although she may enjoy doing it (and perhaps even vengefully). Happiness flows from her gratitude for who she is and what she possesses that help generate her good life. Born to be good, she only needs to do good; the encouraging key to which is gratitude.

Can she be more grateful that she has a husband than what she wants to complain about? If so, she just took a step toward getting what she wants without disturbing his feelings toward her with blame or complaint. Encouraged by newly cited gratefulness, she naturally turns to her talents and skills as a relationship expert to produce a result that pleases her and hubby. Once she appreciates how grateful she is for all that she has, her attitude changes to love first and find fault and express blame never. Earning her way to happiness by finding more and more for which to be grateful naturally steers her clear of disturbing the peace and harmony she has already worked so hard to produce.

“…but if her husband is showing lack of respect or consideration towards her, I don’t think a wife should just patiently smile and take it.” Right! But she has other options than confronting him, which brings out blame, complaint, or expectation that he must do something to suit her. That is the result of directness, it raises his competitive hostility and men intend to not lose battles with their wives.

Demanding respect or special consideration from someone earns the opposite. It signifies lack of self-respect in the one who demands or even politely asks for respect.

A man’s respect of a woman forms before conquest. A different kind of respect grows after that from her accomplishments that he can admire. Prime examples: 1) She talks to God and turns her life around to follow Jesus Christ such that he admires both her dedication and new way that she views him. If she’s already saved, she gets closer to Jesus. 2) She develops new lifestyle habits at her morning mirror that empower her to take greater charge of her life and those around her. It’s a good place to ID all the things for which she’s grateful, which also puts her on the road to happiness and changes her attitude to a winner instead of complainer or one routinely needing help. (See the mirror time series at 2123-2127 plus others listed in CONTENT page.)

“In that case, it would be better to be single with your self-respect and well-being intact.” Yes, you can easily exchange places with another woman who seeks a man, while you start looking again. If a woman looks and finds gratefulness in her life, she won’t be thinking about that option.

Most women prefer the misery of marital uncertainty to the certainty of single-life misery. For those who prefer the former, I recommend devotion to God or devotion to self. More church for the former, more mirror time for the latter.

It goes further. Women like to object that men claim she’s his woman, in effect he owns her. OTOH, she can own everything else in her life when she relies on her natural skills, talents, and interpersonal abilities to generate and manage her relationship and marriage. She elevates him to chairman of the board and herself as CEO. In real life, CEOs don’t complain to their chairman. Their worthiness arises out of their serene management as the chairman sees it. She works to make everything work but reserves veto power for him. When it works that way to his pleasure, she has uncorked Mr. Right. It’s not short but a rewarding journey for a wife.

Thank you, Milena, for a well-prepared and -expressed comment. That I disagree reflects our political differences. What you cite has no bearing on how well you’re appreciated for this contribution to better understanding men and women. You opened a door that has needed opening for a long time.


Filed under Dear daughter, Feminism: OOPS!, How she wins, marriage, sex differences

2449. Male Dominance and Who Handles It: Part V

I continue to explain men to women. All goes pretty well except for getting women to understand the two male sex drives without them taking offense. Seemingly connected to feminist propaganda, their minds don’t want to open. The loudest complaint is that it’s unfair, men shouldn’t be that way, and they change the subject.

That isn’t the way to learn something new (of course they could be objecting to me personally). The result is that women forego their natural ability to deal with men successfully. So I keep trying to find simpler explanations, such as the following that also explains the primal need for male dominance.

The harder I try, the more complicated my writing and confused I become from lack of feedback that women understand it. Finally, I think I can describe where it all comes from, the root as it were. To me, it is now simple to explain, and I hope the following conveys the same result to you.

How we are designed as a species is critical to understanding men and women. It may be too deep background for this blog. However, it enables me to more clearly explain the male sex drive, which is critical to understanding male motivations successfully and managing relationships more pleasantly.

At the macro level of humanity, each sex is designed for compatibility in order to propagate the species. Men have two sex drives and women have two love drives. The primal purpose matches the strongest and weakest drives, one sex connected in common interest with one love.

The strongest love, mother love, matches up with the strongest male desire, which is to have sex with sexually attractive females. Spreading their seed—given the unpredictability of female ovulation—improves the odds of impregnation at the macro level. Mother love handles the results. But that isn’t enough to fulfill the primordial design, that humans won’t die out; unprotected children die too easily.

Each sex has a weaker drive too. Women love others; they are encouraged because it makes them happier when they do so. Men are strongly motivated to have access to sex but with a lesser but efficient urge to make it frequent and convenient. It motivates them to have a female nearby, which positions women to attract one to love and to help raise the children—permanently too, if possible, as the kids won’t be around forever.

Male dominance arises from that primordial root. It helps ensure enough conquests spread enough seed and serves later to do what’s necessary to have frequent and convenient sex. Women are born with their equivalent of male dominance, which is the ability to love develop, guide, and manage relationships, which better enables the handling of a mate in the raising and survival of children.

He wants to have a woman nearby. She wants to have extra protection for her children. So, why not mate? She has her love drive to connect with him, and I expect it arose from the female’s relationship expertise that marriage developed in order to more effectively seal a couple’s deal of raising children.

In the primordial sense, male dominance helps to both spread seed and protect children. While voluntary for men, finding long-range interest in a woman he has impregnated makes a man available to be kept nearby. Using her love drive, she can then expand on his ability to provide and produce in order to make their partnership more efficient and successful.

Consequently, because females may have no say about impregnation, one could say the primary motivation of women is to provide frequent and convenient sex so she can earn the support of a mate to help raise children to adulthood. All else is secondary or less.

However, it begs the question. Is sex enough to keep him with her? Women think her love should be adequate; she gives her all. However, the answer revolves around whether she can induce him to love her because to him she is unique, likeable, dependent on his dominance, and respectful of who he is and grateful for what he does. But that’s another story for another time.


Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, marriage, sex differences, The mind