2102. Compatibility Axioms #561-570

561. If husband expects wife to dress seductively in public, he wants other men to admire him for having her. This reveals his self-centeredness, and when aging makes her less youthful or attractive, she becomes expendable emotionally if not physically.  [202]

562. If he were as good as she expects, he would have bypassed her and chosen another woman  [202]

563. If his commitment—whether true or disingenuous—is enough for her to yield sex their first time, his devotion will likely never grow to her later satisfaction. [202]

564. If she chases a man or men, then to the man and men she’s desperate and therefore disposable because she lacks self-respect and is therefore not respectable enough for much more than sex. [202]

565. If she is unhappy with her man, he sees it like this: Her ingratitude appears unjustified, because he is a good man doing his best. If he thinks otherwise, he does not care about her unhappiness and probably looks elsewhere already. [202]

566. When men have to make arrangements for their own meals, whatever woman they are with becomes more expendable. [202]

567. A man enjoys looking at an attractive, pleasant looking female. When his woman looks sloppy and uncaring, he’s bored, knows that he has earned more, and soon looks for something more attractive. [202]

568. She acts ungratefully with and for her man. Then she blames him for her unhappiness. Her ungrateful actions dominate her feelings. [203]

569. Jean Jacque Rousseau was wrong about many things, but not this one: “The more women want to resemble [men], the less women will govern them, and then men will truly be the masters.” [203]

570. As with all of us, he produces better when he lives for something or someone higher than himself. Another reason why married men are more successful and live longer lives than their uncommitted, unattached male brothers. [203]

 

347. Abstinence Pays

Girlhood abstinence reduces male dominance.

As part of the sexual revolution, women abandon the lessons of their mothers and grandmothers. They exploit newly proclaimed sexual ‘rights’, and abandon the time-honored American female strategy of No Sex without Marriage.

But, they go too far. Feminism inspired greater sexual freedom for females, but women could not keep it from flowing to adolescent girls. The younger the females available to provide sex, the greater their sexual attraction to men committed to someone else. (Who says abstinence education for girls doesn’t pay off?)

If they choose, girls and younger women can easily disrupt tightly bonded marriages that appear unbreakable. Today they do choose. Many seek committed married men as already proven worthwhile for matrimony. Men separated and divorced remain unproven, and their value goes down relative to the still-married.

Girls and adolescent-minded women, such as college booty, lack maturity to undercut male domination. Mature females are fearful of losing their man. Consequently, females submit more easily to male domination in both the social and home arenas.

333. What daughters never hear — Section 09

The female nature provides women with extraordinary skills for eliminating confusion interacting with men. But, women don’t trust their nature anymore, so they look for admin, legal, or political assistance.

♂♥♀ Some women follow their nature and dress up fishing for compliments. Other women dress down, abandon their female nature, and miss compliments that could uplift their feelings.

♂♥♀ Men see a female as more lovely when she is happy, merry, cheerful, full of life. Her glass half-empty shrinks it.

♂♥♀ Men flirt to good naturedly but cautiously intrude and avoid or delay outright rejection.  

♂♥♀ Men tease to make a woman smile, which makes them prettier, more feminine, more appealing. It’s affection in the form of attention.

♂♥♀ Women can’t tell the difference between being hit on and just teasing. They automatically think the worst of uninvited initiatives.

♂♥♀ Married men compliment her. She takes offense, because she concludes he’s flirting and married men should not do that.

♂♥♀ Married men flirt. She calls it harassment, because men are no darn good.

Brooding about men after the condemnations of Feminism, women either can’t read, or they misinterpret masculine intentions. The unintended consequence: Women want more attention than they are getting from the opposite gender, and need more affection than they get from their man.

[Eight other posts about this title are listed in the Content page at the top.]

327. Her sexual history — Part 10

♂?♀  If he won’t honor her privacy about her sexual past, he probably won’t honor her other expectations either.

♂?♀  Her undisclosed sexual past defends their relationship, because his ammo box lacks her historical bullets to fire back in domestic squabbles.

♂?♀  He may very well hold against her what he knows nothing about. Especially when he’s jealous, irrational, or flawed in character. Courtship is the time to figure out if it’s likely to happen.   

♂?♀  The forward-thinking woman convinces all her female friends to never leak anything about her past to her dating partner, boyfriend, husband, or any other man. (But this ultimately fails too, because friends betray friends. They steal dates, boyfriends, lovers, husbands.)

 

318. His Mindset About Sex

The female mindset: Women worry about three phases of sex: foreplay, intercourse, and intimacy afterward. Men don’t.

Background

·        Adolescent male nature:  Intercourse is just intercourse. Foreplay should be unnecessary but can be fun. Intimacy interferes with recovery. Who’s next?

·        Mature male nature: Certain emotional involvements—such as respect and affection for her—add meaning and necessity to a man’s foreplay and intimacy. Her likeability adds too, but her attractiveness does not. (Attractiveness inspires the chase, but its emotional involvement fades after foreplay.)

A man’s sense of responsibility, significance, and permanence with his partner add considerations and connectedness that she appreciates. But his devotion makes him far more receptive to fulfilling her needs, especially after romantic love fades in a year or two.

The male mindset: Men are hormonally loaded to conquer attractive women. They plan around and worry about three things different than females: pre-conquest, post-conquest, and avoiding loss of their independence to hunt and conquer.

Of course, some men plan for and seek marriage. Being devoted to marriage is not the same as devoted to her, so she still has worries about his foreplay, intimacy, and even permanence.  

For more on the male mindset, see the Content page at the top for this series. Also try Do women know jack about Jack?

 

316. Female Fortitude—141 through 150

These ‘fortitudinals’ provide theme or summary of previous posts. The numbers match the source.

141.       When a woman talks about her exes, she places a magnifying glass over her own shortcomings.

142.       He offers his strengths for her to appreciate. If she shows no weaknesses, his strengths fade in importance, and so does she.

143.       Most men reveal their true character but not entire Self when facing a woman’s hard-headed and continuing delays for their first sex together.

145.       Spill her guts and end up in ruts.

146.       Feminists claim women are downtrodden by men and subjected to the injustices of male domination. Really?

147.       Females learn the most and the best about males by retaining their virginity, both real and virtual.

148.       When thinking as men do, women lose their relationship management expertise.

149.       Men marry the extraordinary woman. Extraordinary doesn’t arise from doing what any women can do.  

150.       Generally, women show too much disrespect for their man, and men easily tire of it.

[Previous fortitudinals appear in posts 310, 305, 300, 295, 290, 285, 280, 275, 270, 265, 260, 255, 250, 245, 240, 234, 228, 213, 203, 199, 186, 182, and 176.]

311. Preventive maintenance — Checklist II

The squabble-prevention checklist continues:

♥ Keeping him is easy but not simple, once she learns to use her female strengths.

♥ Feminine brightens his day. As one woman put it, femininity adds color to a man’s B&W world. [Alison A. Armstrong, Keys to the Kingdom, p.151]

♥ People respect those who are different, unique, and powerful within themselves. Her power thrust in his face offends, however, whereas well-controlled internal strength is admired.   

♥ Virginity, devotion, and marriage are recoverable. People make so many mistakes that recovery is everything. (Details in posts titled Virtual Virginity.) 

♥ She’s a keeper, once she learns to keep him.

♥ Hook up but no call? Moved in but no joy? Married but no peace? Then change herself, because men don’t or won’t.

♥ Women are the maintenance experts, men go along for a smooth and maintenance-free ride.

♥ Learn the difference: Self interest motivates everyone. Self-centeredness motivates you. Us-centeredness motivates us. Selfishness de-motivates others.

♣ Feminism sours his day.

♣ Attacks unsettle his day.

♣ If she’s never satisfied, it drives his thoughts to other options. (The wedding signaled she was satisfied with him, so dissatisfaction means she changed and is no longer the woman he married.)

[The checklist started at post 296. Scroll down or search by the number with a dot and space following it.]

309. Lifelong husbands—made, not born — Part II

The males’ default habits are not girl-, woman-, wife-, or even family-friendly. Females either program males around their defaults, or else husbands and fathers flop around eager to escape domestic responsibility and ‘confinement’.

Her nature craves togetherness; his craves independence. Men have little natural interest in yielding independence to fulfill female dreams for paired-up closeness.

Men need at least two foundations to rise above their default settings: (1) Unconditional respect for the female gender equal to or greater than respect for the male sex. (2) Appreciation and gratefulness for what a woman brings to partnership, home, and family above and beyond what he expects his woman to do for him.

Males have little or no natural interest in learning such things. They react and rely on the winning hormones of dominance. Except for mom’s nurturing before about age seven, males resent being taught directly by females. Of course, it ain’t fair. It’s Nature in all its permanence.

Before puberty, dad’s leadership and female teachers’ inputs help, but not as effectively.

Indirect methods of teaching, influencing, and persuading work beautifully, when hidden beneath the superior ‘weapons’ in the female arsenal. Weapons such as hard-headedness before marriage, soft-heartedness after marriage, charm, guile, and expectations for higher standards and living up to something greater than Self.

A man learns permanently, when he draws his own conclusions. It applies both throughout life and the four-phase process that helps females breathe longevity into husbands.

1.     Dedicated parents civilize boys for family life. Primarily, and for greater effectiveness, mother nurtures in the weans, father leads by example in the tweens, and both coach in the teens. (Details in posts titled Weans, tweens, & teens)   

2.     Girls use crossed legs to tame hormonal urges. What boys can’t conquer— whether girl or mountaintop—signals virtue, earns respect, and energizes determination to conquer. (Details in posts titled Chaste courtship works.)      

3.     Marrying-age women reject men for unmarried sex until manly devotion to one woman reveals husbandly potential. (Details in posts titled Virtual Virginity and others.)

4.     Finally, cooperative wives domesticate husbands for home life. They compensate for whatever shortcomings their man brings to the mix. (Details in posts titled The high cost of cheap sex and others.)

Males need mental adjustments throughout life to help fulfill female hopes, dreams, and expectations for family life. God designed and Nature makes females as the relationship experts. So, the responsibility for good husbanding and fathering falls to them, as both individuals and sisters in Womanhood.

[Part I about lifelong husbands appears as post 304.]