2861. Male Fantasy Realized

Another cultural debasement of females slips in under the awareness of Americans. It’s intended to slyly convince more people that sex for pleasure is the primary sex drive in humans. IOW, bring the excesses developed in porn houses into the home, and even women will learn to like it.

In no way do I seek to belittle the pleasure in sex. I condemn the motivational force that sponsors and encourages people seeking sex for pleasure. It’s not the pleasure that damages relationships, it’s the pursuit that betrays the goodness in human character—of which women should have the greater concern about avoidance.

I dispute it. I seek to convince women that it’s egregiously bad news for their gender, female life, and especially to capture and keep a man permanently and fulfill the hopes and dreams inherent in the female nature, to which it’s contrary.

My objection is primarily based on this principle of human life. Sex for pleasure always demands more the next time; what do you think makes porn expand into ever increasing and ever enlarging versions of tools and new orifices to attack? How does anal fisting appeal to females without it being a follow on to whatever went before?

Hooked on pleasure, one can’t get enough and expects more the next time. New tools, new ways, new refreshments, extra sensations, or new sources to exceed what went before. Men lead and drive the bus, but dumb women provide the fuel. Men get what they want, and women don’t realize how their lives are being changed from what they want as they miss the more important things in life. When relationships are dominated by sex for pleasure, the woman can’t achieve what she expects of life.

Actually, the sexes are designed against sex for pleasure. If it were part of our design, our most primal motivational forces would not be so obvious in our behavior. IOW, sex for pleasure, as you will see, is the aberration and not the standard. At birth both sexes inherit other motivational forces that govern their sex lives.

Both sexes are born to get their way associating with others. Women are born to recognize very early in life they have a valuable birthright that men will honor when each woman respects herself deliberately, sufficiently, and defensively against first penile penetration. That birthright difference enables women to get their way with men who are stronger, dominant, and intent on conquest and quick departure. Discretion to participate sexually belongs to each woman, and she’s adequately prepared from early girlhood to capitalize on her own success.

Her side of the “when to yield” puzzle looks like this. Five natural motivational forces energize sex in the woman’s world:

  • Born with a physiological urge to nurture, it triggers the urge to procreate.
  • She has a psychological need to assuage the wants of herself or the needs of someone else, either of which can stimulate her to copulate.
  • Possessing the primal need of self-importance, free will, and urge to get her way, it ignites ambitions to outdo and outshine other women as a candidate for mating. She empowers herself by negotiating sex such that she earns her own uniqueness and the respect of men or man; each man’s respect being essential for his love to arise.
  • She comprehends the worth of sexually yielding to each man, especially the uniqueness and value of their first sexual encounter together. (When she finally yields to one man, he paid whatever price she demanded. He easily convinces himself that he ‘owns’ her, expects not to compete anymore with her, and that she will cooperate with him and his ambitions. It’s the male nature in action.)
  • She needs intimacy, and it is a prime motivator for yielding sex. (Her nature craves intimacy; she can almost never get enough from her man. Especially when her spirits are down, which can be quite often. Intimate touching, fondling, caressing, and sweet words that enhance body closeness fuel a woman’s willingness or desire, which makes it easier to continue deeper into the process to please herself, her partner, or even make an unanticipated mistake.)

The wisdom inherent in the feminine nature empowers women to utilize sex for bonding, generating compatibility, and competing with other women. (Neither promiscuity nor orgasmic pleasure is natural to the female gender. Both arise from lessons learned in life about the urge to feel better or important about oneself, however momentary that may be.)

Those natural urges enable women to think they understand the male sex drive. Not so.

Primal motivational urges energize four versions of the male sex drive. These bring proactive sex into a man’s world:

  • His interest in sex brings females onto the playing field. Without the urge to conquer, women can be ignored.
  • He has a deep-rooted, unchangeable, and physiological urge to copulate with every female he finds attractive and maybe some beyond attractive. (Women witness but can’t comprehend the meaning behind this phenomenal and most primal expression of male sex drive.)
  • He has an instinctive competitive urge to outdo and outshine other men. In response, he seeks to conquer women that other men can’t, enable bragging rights by doing so, and add boaster’s value to virginity.
  • He possesses a steadfast ambition for frequent and convenient access to sex, and he’s willing to pay a high price for it, if and when the right woman coaxes, coaches, and loves him into paying her price.
  • He has an instinctive craving to do something pleasurable with each erection, and instinct pushes him toward penile penetration of a vagina. (Penetration completes his conquest, goal achieved. Beyond first penetration, however, he’s just another sexual performer—good, poor, wasteful, selfish, indifferent.)

Orgasm is not a prime motivator of men. Pleasurable and rewarding, yes, but not a driving force until it’s about to arrive momentarily and as expected.

Those primal sex urges combine to make men compete with other males for females and compete with females for conquest—but for little else afterward. After conquest, he’s beat out other men, he paid her price, and he expects cooperation from the woman he ‘owns’. He refuses to compete further with her. Men reliably find a way out or avoid competing with a conquered woman. Even if she’s a keeper and they marry, if he has to compete with her, she loses much of her likeability.

Why? Conquest changes their relationship dramatically. He used his persuasive interest achieving conquest, in ‘buying her’. IOW, he paid whatever price she demanded. Job’s done; she’s his. Afterward she belongs to him, and he expects cooperation. He’s now free to pursue others. He may lose significant arguments to her. So why take the risk of her winning and his losing the upper hand won with conquest? Men are not dumb; they only seem to be that way because women don’t understand how men are born to be different.

Even though born to be compatible as mates, the sexes differ greatly on matters of purpose, love, and sex. Society and life in it are as peaceful and satisfying as both sexes live according to their nature, the way they are born. Things start to fall apart, when the sexes begin for whatever reason to act like the opposite sex and thus betray their respective nature.

In which case, women lose dominance of cultural values, standards, and expectations. Men run society according to male dominated and female-unfriendly values, standards, and expectations. Neither sex appreciates or respects the other very much, blame spurs anger, and children self-develop to tunes played on the quarrelsome tongues of disrespectful parents, teachers, and adults.

Those primal sex urges combine to make males compete with males for females and compete with females for conquest but for little else afterward. Sex for pleasure as a motivational force curtails and probably ends the female friendliness of sexual relations according to their respective natures.



Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, Fickle female, How she loses, marriage, sex differences

18 responses to “2861. Male Fantasy Realized

  1. caroline

    “He has an instinctive competitive urge to outdo and outshine other men. In response, he seeks to conquer women that other men can’t, enable bragging rights by doing so, and add boaster’s value to virginity.”

    okay, so once he took virginity and is not in a relationship afterward and brags about it. How to make him understand it’s not respectful and hurts (and also makes a bad reputation for her). Is there a way that he will feel he’s hurting her ? I don’t know but something so that it doesn’t damage her reputation.

    Because it’s hard to try to change your life for the better if people are always here reminding you of your past mistake everyday of your future life.

    Your Highness Caroline,

    Don’t expect to make him understand. He’s not too interested in what a conquered female has to say. He paid her price, and so he ‘owns’ her. If he thinks he made a mistake, he won’t listen to someone make herself feel better by making him feel worse. If he thinks he made a mistake, it will rot a short time in his guilt locker. Either he will act to relieve the guilt, or it will soon be forgotten. It’s just the male nature. You may not like it but God designed him that way.

    Her reputation is always wrapped up in her actions. Preventing a man from broadcasting her failures is not to be expected. Such info may make other guys salivate, because men are made to appreciate new info as opportunity.

    Caroline, I don’t alibi for men. I just report their nature so that women can more accurately predict their expected behavior. A woman’s actions determine her reputation. As always, more full disclosure hurts her, even by a man to others.

    We all make mistakes. It’s why recovery is everything. Recovery makes life worth living. You can learn to live with frequent reminders of the past, if you teach yourself to like yourself regardless of past mistakes. No mistake exists that’s greater than your worth to yourself.

    To become a better person, find and live up to someone bigger or higher than yourself: Christ, Holy Bible, moral principles, parents, spouse.


    • Shana

      Caroline, I think the guy’s response would vary based on his general character. But I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for him to be “understanding”. He just conquered, so he will stand firm on that. Having bragging rights and looking like “the man” to his peers is more important to him than making her feel better and salvaging her rep. It can be brutal. He can chase and chase, and when she gives in, he can turn around and totally use it against her.

      Your Highness Shana,
      You’re right. The male nature enables him to do that, but it doesn’t follow that every guy will use it against her.

      • caroline

        “The male nature enables him to do that, but it doesn’t follow that every guy will use it against her.”

        So when he does use it against her there’s nothing to do except put our head down and shut up ?

        Your Highness Caroline,
        That’s the best way. Insist to yourself on maintaining your dignity as person, woman, and whatever roles you fill at the time and situation.

        • caroline

          Okay but he will laugh and think we worth nothing since we accept to be humiliated, and if we accept it he will be meaner and meaner because he can since we don’t say anything ?

          Your Highness Caroline,
          Along with dignity, use your other strengths to ignore him and whatever he says. Strengths include mystery, modesty, vanity, and monogamous spirit. Stand up to him without explanation or complaint; regardless of your mistakes, you’re better than he but only if you act it.

          • caroline

            I deeply appreciate your comments but can you give a concrete sentence to say in a real situation when you hear him say something bad ?

            Your Highness Caroline,
            How about this said unsmilingly, boldly, but not bitterly. Very determined: ‘I like me better than I like you. So, shove off mister, I have no use of you.’

            • caroline

              good idea thank you, in fact as I understand now we have to act as if nothing happened ? and he will lose interest to do it because we don’t react to it ?

              If you were the man in this situation, what would you think if you hear someone you conquered say that to you ? you don’t care, you think she’s dumb, you are angry … ?

              Your Highness Caroline,
              I would respect her for standing up so strongly for herself, proving that she’s someone to be reckoned with, some one different than the one I conquered, someone whom I may not have truly conquered.

              • caroline

                ” proving that she’s someone to be reckoned with, some one different than the one I conquered, someone whom I may not have truly conquered.”

                what does that mean ?

                Your Highness Caroline,
                It means for him to respect who and what you are, your newfound strength of character, as someone of greater stature than he. Of course, you’re faking it and bluffing him, but that’s how you get out of the jam you’re in with dignity.

        • Meow Meow

          Caroline, never ever “Put your head down and shut up” nor accept to be humiliated. That isn’t what Sir Guy is saying! Silence can be powerful, but it doesn’t mean you accept what a man is saying. Keep your mystery. Sometimes, saying nothing is more powerful than trying to “explain yourself”. If you absolutely must say something in public, turn the tables and comment, “It was actually rather a disappointing experience…..” and nothing more. Don’t accept humiliation. Get up and walk away. Go out, dress to the nines, and ignore him by occupying yourself with other activities…..If you are being harassed on social media, block the person. It sounds like this person is gossiping and bullying you. Don’t waste any more time on him and one day he will regret his behavior (but don’t wait for it.)

          • mimi25566820

            hi, I am bullied by someone who i gave my virginity easily (i didn’t know all of this) and everytime he sees me he point his finger on me and laughs with his friends, it’s been 8 years and he is still doing that, it’s bullying. nothing i do make him stop, do you have an idea ?

  2. Jubilee

    It’s also possible that porno could lead to LGBTQ in children, if it isn’t stopped.
    Besides, how could women like intercourse on the wrong place…similar to homosexuals😟😔

    • Shana

      I wouldn’t say it leads to LGBTQ in children, but I do believe it can awaken desires of all kind, that may otherwise stay “asleep”.

      Your Highness Shana,
      Nope, Shana, you’re not wrong but I think Jubilee is more right. In fact I think the connection is very direct between porn and LGBTQ. The first causes the second in many cases.

  3. Magnolia

    Bravo! Another brilliant post.

  4. My Husband's Wife

    Wow! Brilliant! Completely outstanding work, Sir Guy! I think this is one of my favorite articles.

    To make sexual pleasure one’s ultimate goal turns something beautiful into pure selfishness which ultimately leads to relationship destruction. The product of our culture of sexual hedonism is human objectification and exploitation—which has increased exponentially. No one in the “Me Too” campaign has been able to connect the dots. They still love their sexual “freedom” and wonder why abuse is rampant.

  5. msarianne

    Very well said Sir Guy!
    I have seen this happen in our technology based world: Man and woman meet. Man persues woman and if sexual conquest happens it’s pretty much over from there. No further persuit, at least not for marriage maybe just for sex. Just as you say.

    Also men pursue for “online conquest” whether that be for inappropriate pictures or sex talk. Would you say online conquest would have the same results? It’s the same game? Even if no physical penetration has occurred?

    Your Highness Msarianne,

    Wow! Super tough question. Would he lose interest in her physically if he conquered her online with words and pictures? Penetration was likely his hand.

    I may change later but for now I say this. Yes, online conquest would nullify his interest in her attractiveness, which would squelch his interest of her in person. Guilt about his hand-job would also likely interfere. Not sure I can explain it completely yet, but that’s the conclusion I’ve reached now.


    • Magnolia

      Ms. Arianne,
      I read with Renee Wade from thefemininewoman.com that when a man watches porn, even though it’s a fantasy, to him he possessed the woman. He owns her. Men have a great need to feel powerful and dominant and porn helps meet that need. That’s why they are so drawn to it. An online encounter with a woman where pictures are exchanged, they chat and/or they use a camera would be the same.

      It seems to me that the lines between fantasy and reality get blurred with men when it comes to this stuff. It might seem weird to women, but it’s not to men.

      Your Highness Magnolia,

      The male mind works like this.

      • With curiosity stirred, his imagination fires up to assess whatever opportunity is available.

      • One can change one’s mind repeatedly by imagining something, and it programs the heart accordingly.

      • Repeated viewing of porn thus transforms the male heart into dedication to the pleasures of sex and programs the heart accordingly. Thus, programmed exposure overwrites normal sexual urges.


      • msarianne

        Thank you Sir Guy and Lady Magnolia!
        I know some young ladies who believe that online “sex” is harmles. You have explained it is quite the contrary. I hope they will listen.

    • msarianne

      Wait a minute! He would likely have guilt feelings? I had not thought that a possibility. Very interesting.
      So his guilt would cause him to eventually withdraw from the lady?! I understood him loosing interest in getting to know her further but I had not considered guilt as part of it.
      The male nature is so very fascinating to me.

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