2172. Mid-life Dating — C7: Her Sexual Past

NOTE: During proof reading this sounded like an alibi for men. Not intended. I labor for truth and clarity and hope my writing confirms each.

Men don’t respect others until they earn it. Women lay the foundation for earning  masculine respect through usage of their sexual assets.

The male psyche is guided, albeit unattractively to women, by this conviction. Respect for females begins with respect for how they handle their sexual assets. It’s not the only but most important female behavior that impacts respect early in relationships.

The conviction is stimulated by the male primal drive to compete with Nature and men and to shape human events. Every discouraged conquest means a competitor failed, which adds respect for her. Every conquest means a competitor succeeded, which reduces respect for her. Marriage provides the only exception, because a husband earns his conquest; it wasn’t given to him.

The fewer her experiences and closer to virginity, the more respect is due a woman. His sense of significance is partially based on his ability and success of beating out his competitors for conquest or nearest thing to it. Men mostly fear insignificance. Discovering their woman to have been promiscuous activates those fears, and spikes his interest in restoring his significance, which could be at considerable cost to her.

Consequently, men have an insatiable appetite to know their woman’s sexual past. However, the more details they hear about, the more details they want. It becomes ‘not enough’ once she starts to reveal her history. As she describes whoever and whatever preceded him, his curiosity grows to determine how many, meaningful, lovingly, and legal were her experiences.

He’s really in pursuit—however clouded by disguised intentions—of how his performance ranks in her mind and heart relative to his predecessors. He starts from the conviction that he’s by far the best lover, and so every revelation of hers that enables him to think otherwise sinks their marital ship just a little deeper in the waters of separation. A man can’t live very long with the thought that his woman thinks more of another man’s sexual abilities. He can even be jealous of a dead husband.

Modern women have had enough sex partners that it clouds future relationships. A woman’s next man wants certain reassurances that flow from knowledge about her past. She may provide it, she may withhold it, or he may find out from others.

Political activists and political correctioneers declare it unfair. Her sexual history is none of his business. However, modern sex practices change the dynamic of what’s best for each woman with each man.

Her man wants to know her past. He knows she’s been active. So, he probes until she reveals the details. Even counselors preach mutual candidness. That does not make it good, only acceptable to continue whatever relationship they have.

Advantage accrues to her, if she can keep her sexual history secret or as nearly so as possible. The less he knows, the less he can judge her in jealous or other incidents. The fewer the details, the fewer the thoughts that energize more inquiry. The less he knows, the less he can use against her in future squabbles.

The more he knows, the more likely he will make her pay some price for her past. She may never know or understand what’s happening. Yet, her man may strike back because of her earlier sexual events. It takes very little for reminders of her past to grow into self-generated humiliation for him. Her history affects his sense of significance, whether she knows it or not, accepts it or not. And he’s always eager to restore any loss to his sense of significance; saving face, as it were, by blaming her. 

 

1998. Compatibility Axioms #443 — She Duplicates Men

443. Women generate incompatibility when they endorse male values by copying masculine behavior. Their short-range wishes torpedo their long-range thinking. Their future begins to melt and they later morph into the multiplex of singleness, disappointment, unhappiness, abandonment, loneliness, isolation, hopelessness, despair, depression, divorce, gloom, and misery. (I don’t argue against the comfort or convenience, but only how such things affect men and weaken respect for women generally and each one individually.) A few examples of wrongful copying:

• Women too easily and too often discard lovely and attractive feminine attractiveness. They copy men with tee shirts, careless hairdos, black or dull and ragged clothes, tattoos, piercings. [152]
• Either not caring or presuming the right to argue in his face, women compete against their man after conquest, when the male nature expects only cooperation from a conquered woman. [152]
• Women adopt masculine-style sexual freedom. They let men get by dodging personal commitments, domestic obligations, and responsible habits. Lack of time before conquest prevents words of commitment rising to actions of devotion. Being given frequent and convenient access to sex without marital obligation, men don’t have to provide the extra-female-friendly things that truly benefit women as custom and each woman in particular. [152]
• By absorbing feminist politics, women condemn the masculine nature while turning off or tuning out their female nature. [152]
• If she can depend on herself, she doesn’t need him. If that happens, she’s not grateful for him. If that happens, he’s not interested in staying with her beyond the eagerness of romantic love. [152]
• Women discard feminine mystique. They quit using old school hard-to-get. They mistakenly expect that men appreciate a woman’s sacrifice of her sexual assets. With so little to do to score, men sun themselves later in boredom instead of pleasing women as women wish they could be pleased. [152]
• Women plead for mutual and meaningful full disclosure, but men have no obligation for being as accurate as women expect. Men hear weakness in her disclosures and use it to get her into bed. It fine tunes men to deal openly but with no obligation for either candidness or honesty. [152]
• Exposing her weaknesses before conquest reduces the size and intensity of the fascination and promise he sees in her that guides him to the altar. [152]
• Women think everything should be more equal, so they upstage men by initiating sex. Men welcome it, but it short-circuits or at least weakens a man’s respect that is so essential for enduring love to develop as romantic love fades. [152]
• Experience with many sex partners hardens a woman’s heart. It makes her cynical, suspicious, and unable to like herself enough to hold a man very easily. [152]

808. Gender Differences Revisited — Group R

1. Couples shack up to test for sexual compatibility. Women deceive themselves. Men applaud themselves.
2. Men presume commitment but women don’t. Women need assurance and daily confirmation, if confirmed only by themselves.
3. Women expect men to be romantic, but romance slows a man’s conquering spirit. Men are as romantic as a woman requires before accepting foreplay or intercourse.
4. Both wives and husbands resent facing previous sex partners of their spouse. Wife loathes the other woman. Husband holds animosity for his wife.
5. Women crave frequent little things and remembrances to remind that their man is thinking of them. Men don’t.
6. Men depart a relationship with hope for a less involved one the next time. Women depart a relationship with conviction she can do better the next time.
7. Women easily expand their thinking from ‘me’ to ‘you and me’ and then to ‘us’ and even to ‘you come before me’. (It brightens her future.) Men are slow to grow that way and also backslide easily. (His interest lies with the present.)
8. Women easily love a man, but men love their work—or whatever they have to do to prove themselves to themselves.
9. To women, and mother knows best, a person’s character is more important than what that person does. Men lean toward the opposite.

463. The high cost of cheap sex — 16

Who gets dumped the most? Women with none, few, or many sex partners? How many times has she become ex-girlfriend, -lover, -wife? The root cause? Sex made easy, cheap, or both!

Women try to use sex to shape a man’s thinking. But, they ignore that men don’t change as easily as they identify and disrespect the easy mark, desperate female, or booty candidate.

If men get by with it, the masculine pursuit of more and cheaper sex devalues whatever respect that ardent femininity naturally breathes into relationships and standardizes into cultural values.

Women pursue masculine-style sexual freedom to please themselves. This makes society become more male-centered, less family-centered, and leaves women and children to roast on the scorching coals of male self-absorption. The fallout weakens female gender influence over life, home, children, and culture.

Promises exchanged in response to infatuation, lust, and love require mutual dependency within a couple. Time and future relationship growth confirm devotion, earnestness of promises, and strength of commitment that undergird dependency.

Unfortunately, erotic trophies and hunks constantly lure partners and weaken mutual dependency. Breakup moves her into the ex- lane, where sex is even easier and cheaper and the chance increases of again becoming an ex-.

And how does cheap and easy serve females?

310. Female Fortitude — 136 through 140

These ‘fortitudinals’ provide theme or summary of previous posts. The numbers match the source.

136.       Before conquest, if she’s unwilling or unable to match wits and wills, his dominance will always prevail in their relationship.

137.       Casual sexual practices of the sisterhood poison faithful marriages.

138.       The more sex partners a woman takes up with, the less she learns positive and affirming things about men and how to keep one as her own.

139.       She’s twice as important for family success. He’s the head, but she’s both neck and heart.

140.       Men seek relationships for fun and functionality. Women seek relationships for emotional comfort.

[Previous fortitudinals appear in posts 305, 300, 295, 290, 285, 280, 275, 270, 265, 260, 255, 250, 245, 240, 234, 228, 213, 203, 199, 186, 182, and 176.]

 

 

 

 

 

217. Do women know jack about Jack? — Part 13

♂ Women try to be more like men, while men want women to be more female, feminine, and fancy.

♂ If he were as good as she expects, he would have chosen another woman.

♂ If his commitment—whether true or disingenuous—is enough for her to yield, his devotion will likely never grow to her satisfaction.

♂ If husband expects wife to dress seductively in public, he wants other men to admire him more than her. This reveals self-centeredness, and when aging makes her less youthful or attractive, she will be expendable—emotionally if not physically. 

♂ If she chases a man or men, then she appears desperate and disposable.

♂ If she is unhappy with him, he sees it like this: Her ingratitude appears unjustified, because he is a good man doing his best. If he thinks otherwise, he does not care about her unhappiness and probably looks elsewhere already.

♂ Over time men seek improvements on certain things until they are satisfied or otherwise compensated. These are the main drivers: Frequent and convenient sex; meals prepared for them; comfortable hut or better; disposable sex partners, or an attractive wife, that reflect credit on him to his male friends and competitors.

[More jack about Jack appears in posts 202, 185, 172, 162, 153, 142, 135, 132, 114, 97, 91, and 7. Scroll down or search by the number with a dot and space following it.]

191. When women act like men—3rd installment

♣ Sexually active women highly value hunks for looks and capture men poor for keeping. Experience with many sex partners—easy for hunks—weakens a man’s spirit for devoting himself to one woman.

♣ Especially regarding sex, each generation of females works harder to duplicate males. Females initiate everything more and more, but males retain the leadership role. They help females lower female-friendly values, standards, and expectations and to demean themselves just to please males.

♣ Women act and try to date like guys. They accept ‘whatever’ to keep a relationship going. They try to participate and enjoy masculine fun and games. They let desire for not offending a man override their nature—for example, tolerating embarrassment that offends her natural modesty. Her value as keeper weakens from not standing up for herself.

♣ Girls and women adopt masculine-style sexual freedom. Females devalue virginity. Girls ditch it, and mothers push its loss. Girls are popular. Women are adventurous. Both bypass virtual virginity that makes males try harder, that earns masculine respect, that makes men devote to one woman.

♣ To demonstrate their independence from men, women reject feminine virtue, duplicate masculine behavior, and even demo baser behaviors in public. By acting the same as men, women hope to be different? Successful relationships revolve around differences between the sexes that couples reduce to compatibility.

[More about women acting like men appears in posts 152 and 37. Scroll down or search by the number with a dot and space following it.]

 

138. The high cost of cheap sex—05

♀ The more sex partners a woman takes up with, the less she learns positive and affirming things about men and how to keep one as her own.

 ♀ Having many sex partners hardens the emotions and softens the thinking of women, especially vis-à-vis the opposite sex.

♀ Natural female beauty attracts sex partners, but it fades with both his conquest and her aging. The cheaper his conquest, the sooner the fading begins.

♀ Older women pass down lessons learned. Modern girls ignore their elders, their immaturity expands, and the behavior of boys and men worsens with each generation.

♀ Over time, delaying a man’s conquest pushes him to expose his real character, reveal her true role in his life, and correct whatever of his faults that displease her. Round heels remove the pressures on him.

♀ Female adoption of masculine-style sexual freedom generates cheap sex for men. This arouses,  encourages, and lures the male conquering spirit outside the home. Wives suffer the unintended consequences.

♀ The popularity of masculine-style sexual freedom misleads women into playing the man’s game, which devalues the woman’s game of marriage and weakens or destroys fatherly help raising children.

♀ Promiscuous behavior hardens a woman’s heart, softens her natural hard-headedness, and makes her easy prey for selfish or manipulative men. With girls, the damage is both worse and imprints for life.

♀ The promiscuous woman experiences too few tough decisions that mold the character required to promote her self-interest to the fullest with one man.

♀ Promiscuous women eventually learn that uninvolved sex leaves her empty.