2153. Compatibility Axioms #671-680

671. A man’s natural pursuit of other females does not stop until one woman so captures his respect and captivates his imagination that he devotes himself to her alone. [234]

672. It’s a boob paradox. Women publicly appeal directly to the sexual interests of men. They capture men for sex, but they can’t hold one for long after infatuation, romantic love, and lust fade in a year or two. [234]

673. Men call it romance, whatever is required to initiate foreplay or sex. Women know romance as the special attention he pays her when sex is not at stake. [234]

674. She marries expecting him to change, but he doesn’t. He marries expecting her not to change, but she does. Both get what they don’t want. [234]

675. Erotic attire has one-person value: It puts the male mind on track to conquer or to show her off. Neither track is about her true self. [235]

676. After nakedness and conquest, there’s little left. Her ad campaign dies with conquest, as it kills his imagination except for future arousal. (Conquest is the man’s end-game. Booty sustains him between conquests.) [235]

677. Dating as a sex object plants the seed of booty for him but maybe only something better for her. [235]

678. Men want to move toward conquest at their pace. More mystery, modesty, and doubt about scoring slow it to her pace. [235]

679. Suggestive attire is more effective than erotic attire at energizing the imaginative side of the male mind. (The more he has to imagine, think, plot, and worry, the better for her.) [235]

680. The appeal of boobs lies in the challenge to get to them. Once uncovered, conquest is assured. [235]

 

2146. Compatibility Axioms #661-670

661. Virtual virginity is all about earning greater respect. A man’s enduring love—the kind of devotion that survives infatuation, lust, and romantic love that inevitably fade—is founded most deeply on respect that she earns and devotion that develops in his heart from the actions he takes to please her repeatedly, primarily if not all before conquest. [231]
662. Nothing focuses a man’s mind so assertively on changing a woman’s mind than continued refusals for their first sex together. Continued refusals either earn his respect or departure, and that’s the only way she can find out what he’s after primarily—her or sex. [231]
663. Trying harder and harder for conquest focuses his attentions on her. Looking for weaknesses, he uncovers her strengths, qualities, and virtues. Over time, it convinces him she is more worthy of his time, effort, and personal investment. Long courtships breed more of his investment opportunities for her to seal the connections. [231]
664. His dominance will always be present or threatening, but greater mutual respect upgrades her opinions and enhances her influence. [231]
665. When men have to make arrangements for their own meals, whatever woman pushes them to have to do it becomes more easily disposable. [232]
666. Manly boredom and female attractiveness do not show up together. A man always enjoys looking at an attractive, pleasant looking female. When his woman looks sloppy and uncaring, boredom does set in and his interest goes elsewhere—perhaps to looking for something more attractive. [232]
667. Men graciously live with the exaggeration that a man’s home is his castle. But it happens most reliably when his woman exploits her relationship expertise, showers him with gratitude, and recognizes him as head and her as neck of the family. Anything less is not a castle, and there’s a certain manly satisfaction looking for it somewhere else. [232]
668. Men highly value feminine virtue, qualities they admire, because the promise of eventual conquest adds honor to his manly persona and significance. [232]
669. Men intend to make themselves admirable (primarily to themselves) and their life significant (usually above all else). [232]
670. Men love working or doing what they feel compelled to do. The most reliable men turn their life into loveable work both at home and on the job. (There’s an old saying, Show me a man that loves his job and I’ll show you a man that never has to go to work.) [232]

 

2141. Compatibility Axioms #651-660

651. Devotion is observable. He courts her delicately and doesn’t push too hard for conquest, because he’s afraid of losing her. [222]

652. Commitment is infatuation, lust, love, or maybe half-empty words. The only proof lies in the absence of breaking up. [222]

653. Promises make a risky commitment, as females see it, but it’s often better than nothing. Women crave to be cherished but that only flows out of a man’s devotion. [222]

654. Inspiring and energizing her man without de-motivating him is difficult. But a woman’s natural relationship expertise provides enough talent and skill—if she also practices patience, indirectness, and cooperation instead of competition about decisions that are personally his. [227]

655. Only one way exists to find out if a man is really after a woman for herself. Withhold sex until he proves himself willing and worthy by honoring her ideals, standards, and expectations that he give up his freedom just for her. [227]

656. Long-term marriage boils down to this: She chose him. She’s the relationship expert. Experts critically qualify someone trying to sell them something. Later, they make necessary adjustments to live with what they ‘purchased’. [227]

657. Promises and words of commitment fade easily under daily pressures. Acts of commitment reinforce feelings, promote permanency, and grow into devotion capable of surviving daily pressures. [227]

658. Some women learn the hard way. They dress erotically to capture a man and follow up with sloppy dress and grooming. Eventually they find that it turns his head toward other neat and erotically attired females. Other women learn the easy way. They know and avoid sloppy appearance and inattentive personal grooming at home and in public. [228]

659. Feminist thinking in the home inspires women to favor ingratitude for their man’s imperfections rather than gratefulness for his manliness and strengths. Eventually, a man tires of it, his respect wanes, alienation sets in, and disruption or departure follows. [228]

660. Women expect to kiss a frog into prince hood. Men expect their woman to elevate them from prince to king. Modern women fail to provide this second ‘promotion’. [229]

 

859. Virtual Virginity #24

♫      Her romantic love pedestal crumbles when infatuation and lust fade a year or two after their first sex together. If she has not earned his enduring love by then, he shifts into temporary mode and starts looking around. The most fertile ground to earn his enduring love exists before they first have sex, and virtual virginity provides the greatest advantages. Provided, that is, she takes enough time for his thoughts about, habits with, and respect for her to change. Men are willing to change in order to conquer but not after.

♫      Conquest is more meaningful, when a man is challenged and then scores and out-competes other guys. This makes her sexual inexperience highly symbolic and significant to him.

♫      Men seek virgins, because they know they have beaten out other men. Her highly valued virgin beauty signifies that many others tried and failed. Men want dearly to be first among male competitors, and this makes virtual virginity the absolute next best thing for females.

♫      Permanent reconciliation does not likely follow having sex with one’s ex. If she wants to re-wed him, make it sex-free until he proves himself worthy of her and marries her again. If she does not withhold herself, she has no room to maneuver and change their relationship away from what it was when they failed the first time. Virtual virginity can alter their new relationship toward the altar and keep it under her control until then.

792. Love Revisited

• Women expect men to love and cherish them as females love others, but it’s another natural inequity.
• When demonstrating their love, men are very different from women. This chromosomal XX ≠ XY frustrates women into expecting a balance that never comes.
• If her man demonstrates his love as females show love, she loses respect for him.
• For a woman love and sex tend to merge. For a man love and sex tend to remain disconnected.
• Based on infatuation and lust, romantic love fades after a year or two. Enduring love can replace it, if courtship laid the foundation around his devotion of her rather than just his ‘commitment to them’ (more tomorrow at #793).
• A man’s enduring love is based on his unconditional respect for women generally and conditional respect of one woman specifically. It emanates from his appreciation of female attributes and her virtuous character, self-respect, and likeability as a mate.
• A woman’s enduring love is structured around her need for a brighter future for her and kids. It emanates from her emotional dependencies with her own life into which some responsible man enters.
• Enduring love being founded on deep respect, too much familiarity too soon and too fast short-circuits his respect for her. Full disclosure, touchy-feely, and easy sex are culprits.

492. Chaste courtship works — Part 10

Life is a power game. So are relationships with one exception. Successful courtships are predominantly a mind game, because they require that two masculine drives be subtly neutralized. 

Courtship mission statement: In order to marry with maximum hope for longevity, she broadens their relationship, stabilizes their future together, and deepens her love (her primal urges).

She does so by neutralizing without offense his drive for power and sex and substitutes other opportunities and promises that satisfy his urge to achieve (his primal urges).

In effect, courtship requires that his feelings be drawn away from his primal urges to magnify and focus on hers. Her biggest challenge is to enable him to change his infatuation into true love. (Contrary to what women believe, lathering on her love and affection doesn’t work. Smothered with love reminds of mom, nurturing, and childhood, which offends him.)

The human mind works diligently to erase conflicting and disruptive thoughts or ‘noise’ in one’s mind, aka cognitive dissonance. For erasing the noise, actions overpower feelings, e.g., action cures fear. Consequently, deliberate actions can change one’s feelings. 

Actions that contradict emotions overwrite feelings with new ones. For example, act as if you love someone, and love will blossom. Act as if you love them more and more, and love deepens.

Women do it naturally. Men don’t, which is why long non-sexual courtships work best to capture and hold a man.

She expects and he demonstrates his infatuation with actions—flowers, gifts, hot dates, surprises, special attentions, deep inquiry into her interests. Having to simultaneously suppress lustful urges creates noise in his thinking.

Such actions also stimulate greater displays of infatuation in hope of getting her to yield sooner. More mental noise. Over time in a long courtship, his actions that confirm infatuation reprogram it and his lustful feelings into true love.

463. The high cost of cheap sex — 16

Who gets dumped the most? Women with none, few, or many sex partners? How many times has she become ex-girlfriend, -lover, -wife? The root cause? Sex made easy, cheap, or both!

Women try to use sex to shape a man’s thinking. But, they ignore that men don’t change as easily as they identify and disrespect the easy mark, desperate female, or booty candidate.

If men get by with it, the masculine pursuit of more and cheaper sex devalues whatever respect that ardent femininity naturally breathes into relationships and standardizes into cultural values.

Women pursue masculine-style sexual freedom to please themselves. This makes society become more male-centered, less family-centered, and leaves women and children to roast on the scorching coals of male self-absorption. The fallout weakens female gender influence over life, home, children, and culture.

Promises exchanged in response to infatuation, lust, and love require mutual dependency within a couple. Time and future relationship growth confirm devotion, earnestness of promises, and strength of commitment that undergird dependency.

Unfortunately, erotic trophies and hunks constantly lure partners and weaken mutual dependency. Breakup moves her into the ex- lane, where sex is even easier and cheaper and the chance increases of again becoming an ex-.

And how does cheap and easy serve females?

442. Trust but verify

Advice for lovelorn females: Women get confused, desperate, and make poor choices. She should take time to trust a man but verify his actions. The learning process will unclog her mind and heart, especially if she starts to learn early in adolescence.

Unless she ignores it, as the unfortunate do, each woman’s love is built on a foundation of her self-love and hopes and dreams for a bright future with a man. She has three options to work toward: To be cherished, get his commitment, or generate his devotion. The former goes too far, the second disfavors her, and the latter option improves odds for marital success.

Cherished, the kind that princess daughters enjoy from their fathers, goes too far. Nevertheless, some women seek to duplicate father’s presence, or they missed the father-princess phase of life.

If she finds such a man, disappointment sets in. She can’t always get her way. He’s not as much like real or imagined father as she hoped, so she judges him continually on a father-standard. Her ingratitude and disrespect follow, because he never measures up to what he can’t read—her imagination.

Commitment is short term, present oriented, full of loopholes, and favors men over women. Couples stir their infatuation, lust, and romantic love with words that herald commitment to each other. It works well until domestic life intervenes and romantic love fades in a year or two.

More than words are needed to seal their future together. So, the wise woman searches for confirming actions that signal his devotion. A man’s feelings and intentions are expressed more in actions that mislead her than words that please her. Long courtships thus enable her to discriminate and evaluate his worth to her.

Devotion can be seen in actions that outshine a man’s words. He acts out rather than expresses his feelings, fulfills his promises, and spends what time he can with her for the sake of nothing else. He looks to her for confirmation, comfort, and companionship. He works harder outside the home to fulfill his manly role of provider and protector. His devotion shines from what he does for her, even though his affectionate words will be more scarce than she likes.

Summary. Being cherished as by father can’t be duplicated by a man worth keeping. Commitment too strongly favors a man over her. Practical living confirms devotion as essential to the females’ preferred domestic life.