Time and energy escaped me this morning. So, the next series article about teens will appear as Sunday’s post 1570. I substitute the following.
- Greatly simplified, parents intend their children to excel at three missions while growing up. In the weans they learn to strive for what’s good, avoid the bad, and obey the proper authorities over them. It’s the learning grounds. In the tweens they learn to fulfill responsibility and accept being held accountable for performance both good and poor. It’s the testing grounds. In the teens they learn what happens when they try to be the adults they fancy or imagine themselves to be. It’s the proving grounds.
- Female friends do everything together. One competes but the other cooperates. The prettier one can’t stand to lose out to the other, so she tends to choose the best looker that shows interest. The less pretty one observes better and learns more and often ends up with a more reliable husband.
- If you’re not up front blunt and candid with yourself, you crave companionship so that you get feedback to figure out what you want to be and do. It makes you dependent on others.
- Our beliefs are our most powerful possession. When they are questioned by someone, we instinctively stiffen against challenge and resist change.
What Women Never Hear 
Random question (unrelated, but not sure what would be a more appropriate post):
What is the best way to get an ex-boyfriend to pay child support?
I ask not for myself, but have just recently started helping teach a group of young single moms, and one of them (a senior in high school w/a 3-y/o daughter — do the math) mentioned that one of her problems she would like some help in, is to get the child’s father to pay child support. I think she said something about “his wife”, which to me sounds like he’s in his mid-20s at least. My first thought, if I’m correct about the ages, is that he should be in jail for statutory rape (the age of consent is 16 in my state), and she could use that as a threat… but something tells me that that is not the best way to handle it. He’s not really involved in his daughter’s life, which is sad for all involved (especially the little girl), but that also rules out any sort of “quid pro quo”, of “you can’t see her unless you help support her”, because he doesn’t really do that anyway.
Your Highness Kathy,
Under the circumstances you describe I have no suggestions. And anyway, it’s too far outside of the ballpark in which I play.
Guy
What does being up front blunt and candid with yourself look like/ how do you know if you are?
Your Highness Anonymous,
It means being honest with yourself about yourself and how you impact others. It means to boldly and deliberately shape your life the best way practicable to fulfill your hopes and dreams. It means to use logic and reason to accurately weigh the impact that your emotional decisions have on you and others. It means to make your self-talk as honest and accurate as you possibly can.
If it sounds tough, it is. But practice softens both the task and results.
Guy
Thank you, I understand now.