Unless taught otherwise before puberty, boys show disrespect for girls and girls show too much respect for boys. The lack of balance distorts the adolescent world to dramatically disfavor girls.
- Gossiping demonstrates lack of respect. Both boys and girls do it, generate teen anxiety, and cause bad relations. Gossiping slows and often stops among adult men that rise above their adolescent leanings. But it doesn’t slow among females, because their natural drive to help and improve others never dies.
- Boys gossip about girls to spread knowledge about sex. They seek background info to determine how to escape their own virginity, gain sexual experience, and facilitate conquests. Who puts out and doesn’t, plays around and doesn’t? Who’s hot and who’s not? Respect for the girls has little to do with boys in this frame of mind. The teen boy’s primary mission is to score. Failing that, he ridicules unyielding girls to protect his sense of significance and reputation among peers.
- Girls gossip about boys to spread knowledge of how to handle the imperfections of boys. Not just their unworthy behavior but their uniquely masculine faults that girls think they can remedy. They respect the boys except as they think particular boys need to be upgraded. But girls lack experience to inform them what boyhood imperfections mean in adult life, what ‘defects’ symbolize character flaws from a ‘growing up’ mentality.
- Reputations spread and girls face boys who have preconceived notions of each girl’s character and willingness to accept advances.
- The more a boy pursues a girl with the preconceived notion that advances are unwelcome and her resistance is impenetrable, the more he pursues her sincerely for who she is and not the sex she can provide. It’s why grandparents caution girls to guard their reputations.
- Withholding sex earns the respect of boys. Yielding slows or stops the earning of a boy’s respect. Yielding promiscuously destroys all promise a girl might hold for one boy to marry. Men don’t marry females that their peers have conquered.
Masculine love is based on respect first for the female gender and second for a particular woman. Cheap and easy yielding of sex earns a girl no respect and, consequently, qualifies her for less manly love later in life. (For more see four series titled Respect…, Virgin…, Virtual Virginity, and Virtue… in the CONTENTS page at blog top.)
What Women Never Hear 
How should a one respond to female peers determined to destroy reputation so that men will see her in a less than favorable light knowing she is hoping to attract a good guy when she is not as charming or as appealing as those slandering her?
Your Highness Lovely,
Allow me to rephrase your question.
How does A respond to B, C, and D who are determined to destroy A’s reputation so that men will see A in a less than favorable light knowing A hopes to attract a good guy of the same quality as B, C, and D hope to attract? She isn’t—or so the guys are supposed to presume—as charming or as appealing as those slandering her?
Let me know if I interpreted you correctly and I shall respond. It’s critical if we have two rather than just one question.
Guy
Yes that is the correct interpretation. She isn’t or does not feel that she is as appealing as those opposed to her and their slander only makes her situation worse.
Your Highness Lovely,
I presume too that your friend is very young, probably a teenager. It makes what follows evermore relevant.
A standard but immature tactic among females is to get revenge by turning one’s friends against them. Men are potential friends, so revenge may be their motive. Jealousy, envy, and similar emotions prompt female competition, and the slander you cite is pretty normal for immature adolescents.
Now why? What has your friend done to offend? In all likelihood she is just more attractive. Out of immature feelings of inferiority or inadequacy, she very maturely defends herself by showing pride that irks the others. Consequently, another briar appears in the briar patch; she’s more mature than her peers. She should be taken down a notch, or so her peers think.
We all become like those with whom we associate. Our personalities are shaped by our peers much more than by our parents. So, if she continues to associate with the same group, she will become more like them and perhaps slander someone else someday. Does she want that? She’s probably too mature but group pressures grow on members.
In the end, she’s associating with the wrong peers. If she withdraws from the group, then she escapes the slander. She need only to change her interests/goals/ambitions, which will enable her to find and identify with others with common and more mature interests.
Your friend is blessed to have you as friend. I suggest you coach her in ways to find self-gratitude. Together, you can use Female Blessings at Birth at blog top for coaching thoughts.
Guy