2106. Hard-hearted Hannah — II

Women aren’t born hard-hearted. The modern females’ hard-heartedness weakens their judgment and stifles their influence with men and their man in particular.

Hard-hearted Hannah competes with her man, but he expects her to cooperate. She criticizes him, expecting him to be a perfect mate. She disrespects him, when respect is his psychic income for devoting his efforts to her. She finds fault, when he tries hard but fails to meet her expectations. She nags to remind him of her expectations that he should change. She drifts away from her feminine nature and acts more like men.

HHH makes herself feel good at his expense in front of others. She harbors and displays feminist feelings that do not interest him, mostly because Feminism seeks to exclude him from the role he naturally assumes dealing with females. She expects more from him than she is willing to provide as trade off. She expects him to change under her well-intentioned but poorly programmed nurturing, but she refuses to change herself for him.

She knows little about the nature of males and females, and less about how to make them complementary and compatible – even if she wished to. She gets in his face for which he will ensure she pays a price. She kisses her frog and then neuters her prince. She is ungrateful for her man and blames him for her unhappiness. She is dissatisfied with what satisfies him, when a man’s satisfaction is both what he strives for and his internal reward for doing something well.

She turns phony and hides her true character in order to get a man to marry her, and then she becomes another woman after their altar trip.

She wants to build her castle, not his. She rejects the idea of maintaining a home for him to enjoy daily relaxation, rest, and restoration. She refuses to honor his most primal need for a place to flop, eat, throw his things, and prepare for tomorrows’ dragons. If she won’t provide what he needs, he will provide his own or test drive other women, until he finds what pleases him. He has no greater physical need for a particular woman than maintaining his abode, except as a woman cultivates it into something more appealing.

HHH downplays his strengths that enable him to produce, provide, protect, and problem solve for family life in his own satisfying way. She rejects him as family hero and elevates the kids over him. She expects him to husband her without some tradeoff for his having given up his independence. She treats him as a domestic regarding household chores – all orders and little reward. She exhibits poor leadership by telling him how to do things instead of what to do. She makes his castle so ‘perfect’ in her eyes that it transforms into her castle.

She marries expecting him to change. He marries expecting her not to change. After marriage, she changes and pushes him to better fit her ideals of their life together. When she insists, he resists, resents, and perhaps retaliates. Caught up in a marriage he did not expect, he slips one leg over the edge of the escape hatch and prepares to jump.

HHH considers his machismo and the male ego to be ‘crimes against Nature,’ which signals that she wants a pansy or wuss instead of a real man to husband her. If she finds and partners with one, she finds that she doesn’t respect him as a man, which makes her worthless as mate to him.

She rejects an age-old custom. Changing her last name to his after marriage evolved to show her to be his faithful partner. Unwillingness to take his name sends players a message that she is not very tightly dedicated to her husband and may be more easily available. (Admittedly, it’s man-think). By adopting his name, she signifies willingness to be his with faithful expectations. Not taking his name does not imply she will cheat, but it tells others that she does not respect him enough to quell his doubts and fears and depend totally on him.

She expects his faithfulness without providing the equivalent for him. Her husband expects not only her faithfulness but guarantees of it. He perceives that failure to give herself whole-heartedly to him makes her more easily susceptible to cheating on him. Clouds of suspicion weigh heavily on his mind, and he keeps one hand on the ejection lever for either him or her.

HHH is entitled to be hard-hearted. But she should expect her man to resent it, weaken his own dedication to her, and prepare for a softer landing with the next female.