A female’s happiness starts here. The mirror confirms her self-love, aka appreciation of who she is. The mirror also provides nourishment to her sense of self-importance, aka appreciation for what she does. With those satisfactions, she becomes grateful for herself, and gratitude is the essence of happiness.
A female’s unhappiness starts here. Poor choices at the mirror contradict her self-love and under-nourish her self-importance. Those two dissatisfactions nullify self-gratefulness, which leads to finding other ways to feel good about herself. Overeating compensates and overweight follows.
When the mirror doesn’t make her feel good enough about her appearance, she abandons her natural tendency for caution and eats like men. Overeating drowns her intuitive nature about showing off her prettiness.
Mirrors spout guilt and generously spray women with desire to improve what they see. Thus, the secret to weight control and proper weight resides in mirrors made friendly by a female’s heart and nature. When the mirror is her enemy, she makes poor choices and betrays self-interest. She chooses to do too little, takes shortcuts, or otherwise fails to develop a satisfied appearance for the moment, day, or life. Poor choice today leads to more tomorrow, and future views at the mirror bring disappointment, frustration, and embarrassment.
Each female has both an easy weapon and strong ability to achieve her desired weight and shape, namely the mirror and new attitude. Change her actions and self-talk at the mirror and she changes her attitude.
Attitude is the outward expression of her heart. To change it requires actions that reprogram how she feels about herself. If she drops poor choices at the mirror and adopts good choices, her attitude changes, her appearance improves, and need to overeat diminishes. So, let’s define poor and good.
Poor choices follow this attitude. ‘I’m unable to fix or make future benefits out of one or all of my discouraging features. Therefore, I will copy others whom I envy for their appearance and ability to attract guys’. Her determination fertilizes decisions to become poor habits.
Good choices follow this attitude. ‘I’m dedicated to always make my features look their best and with improvements in mind for making each feature better, even if it takes years. To copy others whom I envy betrays my uniqueness and weakens my ability to compete with them for the man of my dreams. I’m my own person’. Her determination fertilizes decisions to become good habits.
Poor choices damage her ability to be grateful for herself. Gratitude brings happiness, and gratitude for how she looks is the first step. So every poor choice at the mirror takes a chunk out of future happiness.
The toll road to both slenderizing and happiness starts first thing in the morning as summarized in article 1440 and others mentioned there. At the mirror each day, this toll is paid: She identifies another good idea to study, tries and appraises improvements, and determines to turn into habit whatever prettiness presents her at her greatest before others and especially family. When at her prettiest, she believes in herself, manages her family better, and wields influence far beyond what poor choices produced earlier in life.
All women are pretty in their hearts. If they don’t expose it by prettifying their outward appearance,* they lose influence with females and personal effectiveness with men. Choices made at the mirror determine a female’s life, lifestyle, and happiness.
*Contrary to modern custom, neatness and bright colors magnify female prettiness. Males are colorful in the animal world to out-compete other males for sex and enable females to hide for protection. Females use neat and colorful attire in the human world to out-compete other females for a protective mate. Doing so lures males away from their protective places, methods, and manners.
What Women Never Hear 
Females use neat and colorful attire in the human world to out-compete other females for a protective mate. Doing so lures males away from their protective places, methods, and manners.
LOL… love this!
This is wonderful. Thank you for the reminder as it is always about choices. Our thoughts become action!
I am overweight as well, but healthy changes, counting calories and not fat, weighing carefully to-be-consume food, as well as speech, I have manage to make a significance difference in my life for this new year.
To a wise and knowledgeable year!
Another great post!
I agree with you completely that a woman should be mindful of her appearance and weight.
Not only do I see a ton of women who are dangerously obese, then there is the opposite extreme—the “super fit” woman who strives to have every muscled “toned” and will spend hours at the gym and basically starves herself, not to mention teeth whitening and fake tans and enhanced boobs on top of it. It’s a cookie cutter look that is everywhere in media today—and men are eating it up as I believe they are being conditioned to like that sort of body image in a woman.
The look of today is a far cry from the 40s movie star women who were just a naturally feminine women who were modestly covered. Or even look at the women in historical paintings. Their body builds were naturally feminine back then.
To me, that “sculpted” fit look is actually verging on “masculine” however, a big pair of boobs is usually thrown in the mix. Which, if I may be blunt, people who are naturally thin, usually don’t have giant boobs! To me, this trend we see of women is not naturally feminine and it takes an enormous amount of energy for MOST women to achieve.
And we can’t forget the tragically thin/anorexic women that have been glorified in fashion that have claimed to have eaten bathroom tissue to stave off hunger. It’s interesting to note that most fashion for men is designed by gay men. Why wouldn’t they want to make the female look more manly? But that’s a completely different story of how our genders our now being removed in our culture.
So I have a couple of questions for you if you don’t mind:
1. Do you think today’s woman’s look is different from years gone by?
2. What is your take on the look of today’s “super fit/thin” woman described above?
3. With these images of women being bombarded to males everywhere as an “ideal,” are men conditioned to like this sort of shape—or does the naturally feminine shape ultimately trump the manufactured shape of today?
Men are not conditioned to like anything. Male attraction is born and innate. It may evolve due to personal experiences and tastes, but men are not that susceptible to media images. Many studies across many different cultures have found that men universally are primarily attracted to 2 things in a woman: Youthful looks and an hour glass figure.
Most other qualities, like thick lustrous hair and clear glowing skin are attributes of youth.
So a young looking, hour glass figured woman who is not a super fit/stick would find plenty a male interest.
Sir Some Other Guy.
Thanks for another gem-nastic contribution.
Guy
Always enjoy hearing your perspective, Some Other Guy…very interesting point. Makes perfect sense. Now that you mention it, I remember reading some of those studies too a long time ago. I guess in reality, despite looks, things always seem to come back to one of the themes in this blog—it’s not necessarily looks that will keep a man, it’s all those other things that makes her unique to him.
Very kind of you to say MH’s WIfe. You are right, looks are not the be all end all. A sweet, disposition, feminine energy and respect for the husband are the most important. Looks are very important though. Men do not expect their wives to always be a 20 y/o model. But we do want them to take reasonable care to make the most of what they have. So if I my wife weighed 250 lbs when I married her and she weighs 250 25 years later, then that’s goodness. If she weighed 125 25 years ago and now she’s 250, that’s not good.
And these are common sense things. My wife certainly has expectations of me. If she married me when I was making $100,000 / year and now I’m making $10,000 / year, she is not going to be happy about that.
Those are great examples, Some Other Guy—thank you for explaining this phenomenon. The light bulb goes on for yet another reason to keep taking care of myself. I’m not sure where common thinking of “you’re married, your looks don’t matter anymore” came from as I’ve heard it a lot over the years, even from my husband. BUT…I know better than to believe that thinking as my gut (intuition) tells me different.
Sir Guy has stated this before, and I agree…. The person who benefits most from you taking good care of yourself is you. Feeling good about you is where feminine energy comes from. I think Sir Guy calls it mirror time.
Have you ever been around a woman who’s lost 20-30 Lbs. and is wearing a brand new fitted outfit? I’m telling you, the positive energy that she puts out there is intoxicating. She feels so good about herself that she radiates good vibes. People in the same room with her can feel it. Taking care of yourself will let you tap into that same energy.
I sure you must already realize that having a hot wife is a status symbol for men. Men will never tell you this, but when groups of couples hang out as friends, we are all comparing how our own wives stack up against the other wives. It’s not bad or good, it just happens. When I bring my wife to company functions, I get a big status boost because my wife is adorable and well put together. That is the essence of feminine power.
Glad you brought this up:
women today, do NOT WEAR bright colors even in the spring. IT seems like many MEN are starting to wear the ‘pinks and lilacs’ that women used to wear. It looks backwards. Women in CA are wearing ‘black and purple’ in the summertime, no pretty skirts that are ‘a-line and right below the knee” and jeans&tshirtsforever look.
I think the muscled look is TOO EXTREME.. ive even seen the female NASCAR racer (forgot her name) with uber muscles! and she almost looked like she was taking STEROIDS she was so big. I would hear about the guys not minding how a woman looks in this realm {could THIS be a reason they aren’t affectionate like they used to be?}…(i wonder if this was the argument against women in sports,unless it was ballet years ago)
an argument for muscles, is that when women get OLDER they would look better since muscle looks better then sagging flesh..
oops.. just remembered.. DANICA PATRICK.. with NASCAR..
Yes Boomer Babe–and there is the “body builder” woman type too which is just pretty disgusting. You’re right that is so completely masculine. I did see the Danica Patrick uber muscles, I guess it was a body suit for an ad, but none-the-less, she was portrayed as looking like a guy—as opposed to her highly sexualized Go Daddy ads look.
You are also right about the clothing colors between men and women. Was at the grocery store and was astounded how many women were in their tight faded jeans and dark hoodie sweatshirts barely distinguishable from guys.
Thank you@ My husband’s wife…. I was curious as to why more women seem to be wearing dark purple and gez whiz all black in the middle of the day!
Even though I wore some black today I broke it up with a black and white long skirt and had lacy white socks with heels, with minimal make up that lighten up my clear face and dangled earrings. It was a polished look. …the only difference between these black wearing babes? I had a nice smile on my face and walked with confidence! :o)
I remember doing the “black” trend in the 80s and, unfortunately, it hasn’t left me. Still trying to incorporate more color into my life after reading this blog (and your comments, too!) Mixing black with color will help during a “transitional” phase! I think a lot of us women think that black hides their body imperfections and is “slimming.” I hear that logic ALL the time from women.
I agree with My Husband’s Wife that the actresses in old silver screen movies have a more natural and feminine shape than either emaciated modern fashion models or overly muscular female bodybuilder types. I got hooked on vintage movies about 10 years ago after graduating from college and that is what finally convinced me that I’m not fat–it’s the models in the fashion magazines I was reading that are too thin!
showing LADIES eating a HUGE SANDWICH and open their mouths VERY WIDE.. should be a reason women diet.. they look ‘hideous’..LOL
Cameron Diaz recently published, “The Body Book: The Law of Hunger, the Science of Strength, and Other Ways to Love Your Amazing Body”. Readers might find evidence of themes in harmony with the female nature as described on WWNH. She charms readers with frequent compliments affirming all females know they are pretty. Cameron also reinforces a time focus on a brighter future with dreams of what a happy and healthy body can do for her. Despite a few politically correct philosophies, her bright and sunny style makes the book a comfortable read, and ladies may be able to find new tips as they build their own brighter futures with happy, healthy bodies in mind. 🙂
Sir Guy, I returned to this post because I’m looking everything I can find re: mirror time. I am wondering if I have found the one time What Women Always Hear and What Women Never Hear may be the SAME. Namely, women’s hair. Might you be willing to comment on hair? My friends tell me I look great now that I recently cut my hair shoulder-length. And it occurs to me that women OFTEN encourage each other to “take the plunge” and cut their hair short-ish… and I so often hear men say they prefer hair long, too. Might this be one time “what women always say” is true — that its okay to go shorter if mirror time confirms that it looks better? I’d love your opinion! My friends all think my hair looks better & I think it at least looks equally as nice (but is so much easier!) Do I grow it back out for my husband, though? Or just presume he’ll get used to the new look over time? (For the record, my husband has said nothing negative about my hair… but I happen to know he loves long hair. And I don’t have it anymore.)
Your Highness Anne,
Super bravo if you’re over 40 and well done if over 30. Best thing you can do. Also, get out of younger clothes. Hip huggers broadcast desperation about growing old, which makes her attitude confirm it.
Every woman should adopt this philosophy after age 30. The more I fight aging in my appearance, the sooner I get to looking older than my age. Faking youthfulness with clothes and hair is antithesis to acting youthful. And both sexes are as youthful as they act.
I mention long hair in today’s article, 2064.
Guy
P.S. Worry about husband if he mentions it. In the meantime start using post 2059 to uplift him. Proliferate this comment in your life with him. “Men are never more handsome than when they please their lady (or specify accomplishments).” I bet he never gets tired of hearing it, although you may have to find different ways of conveying it: hidden notes in his possessions, quietly before sleep for no apparent reason, to his face in the midst of dining and for no apparent reason, and daily with locked eyeballs for each little task he performs for you. Try it, you might like it. He might forget about your hair if it is of concern. (I’m convinced men don’t particularly like long hair except to two reasons. 1) It reminds them of sex, which they don’t really need to be reminded of by such a non-contributing feature. 2) They are passing a compliment when appropriate, such as when asked or when they can find nothing else to mention.)
G.
Thank you. I am just barely 30, so I am glad you are of the opinion that the change is timely. I will focus more attention on “Men are never more handsome than when…” comments. Also, I am happy to hear that perhaps the “preference” for long hair is not of deep importance to men generally. Everything else you have ever written seems to apply quite soundly to my husband so I will presume this does, too. 🙂
Your Highness Anne,
Be sure you understand this. I’m an old man. I can’t tell you what to look like when you get through modifying your appearance. Shorten but make it stylish. Long, stringy hair is too common to make you look unique within the sisterhood where your competitors outshine you in other ways. If you’re not winning, change the way you play.
Neatness, freshness, and devotion-tended hair style signifies self-respect and dedication to yourself. It upgrades your emotional attractiveness as opposed to sexual attractiveness, which tends to focus manly attention on you rather than sex. Every little bit helps to shape the snapshot that immediately enters the male brain as first impression. You look great if it stimulates a man’s curiosity about who you are and stirs his imagination about the promise you hold for him.
While I suggest a change in both style and habits of hair care, you should figure out what will work best. The objective is to draw more interest to you and away from sex with you.
Incidentally, you’re too young to try to look younger. In fact, you’re better off to never try it, because it smacks of phoniness and less self-respect. Men marry trophies to ‘raise them’ to fit male’s inclination to dominate. Sex plays a small part except when he flashes her about on his arm to make competitors envious.
Guy
Thank you!!