- To stimulate interest and help her for life, a woman convinces a man that he can be more of a competitive winner with her as permanent part of his life.
- Trying to find weaknesses to first get her into bed, a man uncovers strengths and qualities that hold worth and ability to support his way of life. She’s virtuous.
- Uncovering her sexual history is a man’s due diligence. He wants to know but the less the better, and least is best for her. If it can be used against her, it will someday.
- Total silence about her sexual history is best but not always practical. Smiles and light-hearted banter can change the subject and discourage excess interest.
- Under certain circumstances, women can change a man’s behavior. Mostly, it takes place before conquest or happens slowly after years of devoted marriage.
- Unmarried sex causes respect of women to not form, which invites male aggression, family irresponsibility, and violence against women and children.
- Using the virtual virginity strategy prevents a woman being taken for granted before marriage. It keeps boyfriends guessing, and thus adds to her mystery.
- When a man senses that a woman finds him attractive, appealing, or of more than friendly interest, his nature tends to take her for granted, e.g., players.
- In the face off of two conquerors, her yielding sex establishes her worth to him. If he’s invested little of his time, effort, and money, then she’s worth little to him.
- When a woman concludes that men are only after one thing, she ignores or downplays all else she has to offer. It weakens her as candidate for marriage.
2418. PROVERBS — Singles 10
Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, Fickle female, marriage, virginity
What Women Never Hear 
Hello Sir Guy,
Regarding #10, I remember receiving this message a lot growing up, and found it confusing and it did little to help me understand why I should even bother having anything to do with men if all they wanted was a thing that I shouldn’t give them just because they wanted it and I was less virtuous if I gave it to them. I mean, women have sexuality too, lol! I think part of the confusion also comes from not having a strong father figure in your life to help you understand the other things you can offer a man besides the thing he seeming values most. Perhaps you and some of the other ladies who had great fathers can help elaborate on this issue. Perhaps you’ve covered this before, but I’ve been around a TON of essentially fatherless women who all seem to have the same issue and I believe it worthy of greater exploration.
Shermy
Your Highness Shermy,
I think you read too much into #10. It’s theme is that when a woman blames a man as so pointedly aimed when around her, she makes herself vulnerable. Her attitude is one of blaming him for something he can’t help but has to restrain.
If you’ll be patient, I’m working on a new article for this weekend. It’s an overdue summary of why women should avoid premarital sex as matter of principle in order to allow her man to develop the kind of love and devotion that lasts a lifetime. You can fall in that kind of love easily; men must develop it themselves and you have to guide him both deliberately and rationally.
The article describes what fathers try to teach, but without knowing the male nature that surrounds what fathers teach, women can’t make much sense of it.
Guy
Sir Guy, I’d very much appreciate the article on what fathers should teach, I think I’d find it illuminating. I get what you’re saying about blaming men for expressing their innate drives
Hello, Sir Guy, what would you say about a man who has his hand on his girlfriend’s rear end in public? Disrespectful? They’ve been living together for 6 years now.They were also at a dressy affair at the time. Also, what about this same man making comments on her facebook about how he stops by just to see her picture as it makes him happy to see her, etc.? Somehow, it just sounds fake. Especially if he doesn’t really respect her. And not only that it seems like after all these years if he was so crazy about her, he’d marry her. He is in his upper 30’s and comfortable financially.
Your Highness Beloved,
What would I say to those people?
• To him she’s beautiful and he brags about his good fortune in public by putting his hand there.
• Dressy affair? He’s not a classy man but thinks of himself as a cool dude.
• Stops by facebook to see her pic? He’s a phony. Not very trustworthy.
• Doesn’t really respect her? That explains why he has never married her; he doesn’t love her. She’s his trophy.
• He’s in his late 30s and I’m guessing she’s in or very close to her 20s.
• If she hopes to marry him, dump him NOW. If he will ever love her, it will only be after he has to win her with dutiful courting over many months and all without any sex.
She can figure out how to get him to marry after dumping him. To recapture him if he returns to chase her, she needs to study these blog series: Virtual Virginity, Dating, and Recovery.
Guy
So, you say, “To him she’s beautiful and he brags about his good fortune in public by putting his hand there.” Are you saying that is disrespectful? Could you elaborate? And, also, you are good! You were dead on about her being in or close to 20’s! Thanks so much for your responses.
Your Highness Beloved,
See comment above.
Guy
Oh, and one more thing (sorry)…but, “I” am not saying he doesn’t respect her. I want to know if YOU say that his actions (hand on butt in public, not marrying her after so long, etc.) are showing a lack of respect. Ok, I think I clarified that now. Thanks so much!
Your Highness Beloved,
No, not disrespectful but not respectful either. It’s a juvenile form of a compliment. He’s likely to be an adultolescent, physical adult but mental adolescent.
As to marriage, it’s not a compliment but adultolescent unwillingness to commit.
Guy
“In the face off of two conquerors, her yielding sex establishes her worth to him. If he’s invested little of his time, effort, and money, then she’s worth little to him.”
How to recover from this situation ? In a situation where a girl don’t want to go back with him at all BUT want him to think that he made a mistake despite her bad behaviour and don’t think anymore that she is worthless ? I want to move on but can’t because it hurts too much to know that he thinks i am a worthless piece of s**t (sorry for bad words but that’s the reality). How to make him see me in a “new positive light” even after failing EVERY test he had for me and maybe regret and think he was wrong in his judgement.
Thank you a lot.
Your Highness Jumana,
Welcome aboard! I love it when pretty women join us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.
I regret it, Jumana, but you can’t change what he thinks. Recovery for you is best detailed in the same Shermy Brown quote in your previous comment at 2748. In fact, her response was aimed at your comment above and I used it for the other.
It’s worth repeating here to stress the importance that the best recovery often means to travel elsewhere in your thinking. There’s no such thing as motivating others; there is only self-motivation, which puts you always in charge of your life.
I present Shermy as the solution to many problems of your type.
“To me, and perhaps Sir Guy will agree, it is best to direct your energies elsewhere. You will waste your precious time trying to convince someone to disbelieve what they already believe. Take it as a lesson learned and move forward. Your energies should be directed toward generating greater self restraint, self-respect and perhaps review the advice in the top banner on “Female Blessings at Birth” and “The Path to Victory.” This is the best use of your time, wallowing in painful feelings and trying to change a man’s mind is a GREAT WASTE of time that you cannot get back. Value your time by training yourself to create the best life for yourself.”
Guy
To me, and perhaps Sir Guy will agree, it is best to direct your energies elsewhere. You will waste your precious time trying to convince someone to disbelieve what they already believe. Take it as a lesson learned and move forward. Your energies should be directed toward generating greater self restraint, self-respect and perhaps review the advice in the top banner on “Female Blessings at Birth” and “The Path to Victory.” This is the best use of your time, wallowing in painful feelings and trying to change a man’s mind is a GREAT WASTE of time that you cannot get back. Value your time by training yourself to create the best life for yourself.
Your Highness Shermy Brown,
Wow! What a monumentally well timed and magnificently relevant post you just made. I’ve already copied and re-posted several times to two women in need of recovery.
If you’re married, tell hubby one man thinks he married over his head but don’t tell my age. If you’re not married, could I have first dibs?
Guy
(blushes) Oh, Sir Guy, as a single lady, you flatter me too much! I hope the ladies can gain whatever they can from the comments and get on the road to recovery and then ascension to greater femininity!