God designs each individual with free will and desire to get their way with others, which makes competition the most important motivator for pursuing self-interest. Men are competitors by nature. A man finds a woman to be an acceptable competitor until he conquers her. After which she’s expected to cooperate with his ‘ownership’ of her as sex partner. She ‘sold’ her assets and he bought them at whatever price she set and insisted he pay. If her price did not obligate him to provide and protect, he got off light and may not be involved with her future.
The better she competes and delays conquest, the more of his respect she earns, and a man can’t love a woman he doesn’t respect. Consequently, the greater obligation she works out of him before conquest, the greater his respect and love develops for her, and the brighter her future with him in her life.
I’ve learned and drawn two major conclusions after 66 years of studying human motivation and ten years of blog posting and discussion. 1) Women make themselves available for unobligated sex. Shifting more and more toward sex for pleasure, they play the man’s game, and it discourages and stifles men from uplifting their lives as responsible husbands and fathers.
Why? It’s full of masculine beliefs, assumptions, and fears. If she’ll do it for him, she’ll do it for many. No man wants to follow a competitor in her bed. If she’s loose before, she’ll be loose after marriage. His lovemaking may be inferior to those before him. The closer to virginity is her history, the more loyal and faithful she will be to him. Not the ‘used goods’ idea, but the increased threat of disloyalty and infidelity because she knows other guys to whom she may too easily retreat for solace or return to begin again. To a man, it’s easier to avoid being dumped by not obligating oneself to begin with. So, risk avoidance rules the masculine world when marriage is the expected obligation.
2) Fulfillment of a woman’s life is usually viewed as capturing a good man, making him better, keeping him for life and family. Unobligated sex prevents women from earning that satisfaction in such a life. Why? Because men for reasons cited above do not so easily sell or even view themselves as potential mates. Also, men don’t respect women who don’t protect their sexual assets against intrusion for little reason or at no cost. Men figure if they possessed such highly valued assets, they would charge a fortune for access of any kind. Yielding without obligation makes women appear dumb.
Those conclusions are cause and effect. Women are born with the relationship expertise and all else they need to more effectively get their way with men, find and keep a good one, and fulfill their girlhood hopes and dreams. Men are willing as long as women recruit and keep them in ways that satisfy each man with himself, which puts women in charge when they use the relationship expertise they inherit at birth and which men lack.
Men have the mental and physical strength to fulfill their dominant role in the present. They think little about the future and figure they can handle whatever comes; it weakens their dominant role. Wives gain the advantage when they focus and achieve balance in getting their way for the future and let their husband have his way in the present.
A man’s ability to get his way relies on belief in his potential for strong mental determination and physical strength. The superiority of the female gender, however, enables women to outwit, outsmart, and outmaneuver their man by focusing on future events and arranging everyday matters to keep their man’s focus on the present.
Women have discovered sex for pleasure. It enables men to effectively deal with them as something close to sex slaves. It’s an unstable social condition because women don’t get their way often enough in other matters and female friendliness falls by the roadside. There’s no turning back either, until women recapture dominance of cultural values, standards, and expectations that guide and pressure the rest of us on how to live in society.
What Women Never Hear 