2359. Doing TO and not FOR Brings Final Success

Sex is neither prime mover nor primary ingredient of a successful marriage. But it is the root of the final richness that confirms they did right by marrying. Surprisingly, it has to do with what they do TO each other rather than FOR each other.

Both romantic and puzzling, they both have to do a specific thing TO each other.

A couple’s compatibility is bred this way. His sense of responsibility pushes him to work and provide satisfaction with himself. Her sense of finding things for which to be grateful—enabled by her self-gratitude—pushes her to make the most of the happiness she feels within herself and her life.

Outside the home he competes and works at things to gain satisfaction. It promotes his competence as a man, which promotes his significance as her mate. Her self-gratitude promotes her finding gratefulness in their life together, which is the root of her happiness.

Their self-interests merge to become mutual as he becomes relatively satisfied with his accomplishments and she with her relative happiness.

Routinely they confirm each other’s contribution, worth, importance, and progress through collaboration and enterprising spirit.

Sex follows along as another routine activity, just part of the overall. Then two events seal their deal together.

1. After she has several orgasms in succession, he notices and praises her for the beautiful glow that embellishes her face. She follows with convincing words that his love making ability did it, and both come to believe it.
2. She wants to give birth. Shortly after achieving that wonderful status, the same glow appears on her face for no other reason than she’s with child. He daily recognizes the glow as beautiful. She gives him the credit due an expectant father with the high expectation of great fathering and simultaneous husbanding, and both come to believe it.

They spend the rest of her pregnancy celebrating their respective father/mother roles. Guessing at its gender, they leave out the baby’s involvement to celebrate their great fortune. Comes the birth, and the parents become secondary in everyday affairs.

Consequently, her glow after orgasms inspires her TO call his love-making perfect for her, which convinces him that he’s admired, significant, and essential for her life. He converts her TO pregnant, and she convinces him TO see himself as a great father.

Over time, the self-fulfilling prophecy works its phenomenal way in their lives. Her ability to glow beautifully from what he does TO her causes her TO call him what she needs most, loving husband and father. Without her conviction that he fills those roles, he won’t likely make it.

Husband mostly operates toward being satisfied with himself and wife operates toward her own happiness. However, the foregoing always lingers in background in reverse format. She wants satisfaction from his efforts regarding sex. He wants to be happy in response to his sexual efforts. While neither the most critical nor even totally necessary, those factors seal the deal better than other positives so essential to successful marriage.

Thus, the final key to sealing up marital compatibility lies with what they do TO each other rather than FOR each other.