Her Highness Cocoa tipped me to the need for this post and a problem I hope to resolve.
I’ve misled you ladies when you think a man should be denied a response when he inquires about you. Except about your sexual history, a man’s curious questions should not be met with silence or what he sees as very limited information. To pursue mystery for the sake of mystery works against you; you’re insincere which isn’t natural or feminine. You should appear as open as it serves your self-interest. IOW, your heart will guide you when not to be open.
But your response may not be what he wants to hear. For instance, he inquires about something too personal for the maturity of your relationship, and you respond with “I don’t know you well enough yet.” Very acceptable for your comfort. Or, he inquires about sex, and you change the subject to marriage in order to evade info you want to keep personal. Also acceptable to test for his intention. Neither is purposely designed to create mystery, although both may.
Without discriminating, I’ve been using three kinds of ‘mystery’. a) Accidental, as described above. b) Naturally, called feminine mystique, which generates a man’s romantic interest in you. c) Deliberately to better interest, capture, or keep a man by hiding your thoughts so you can figure him out before he figures you out.
Now, a) and b) need no further explanation, but c) does. The feminine nature is modest in conversation as well as unique in appearance, behavior, and future concerns. Focused on achieving your primal need for a brighter future, you are naturally reticent about discussing the present because it can have adverse effects on your future. Feminine means caution until you decide it’s unnecessary.
Being modest in conversation, however, doesn’t mean unable to be interesting, courteous, respectful, and polite. If a man seeks info that you don’t want to impart, you need a respectful response to divert the subject but retain his interest in you. For instance, his persistent interest in your sexual history causes you to face the toughest of challenges with adequate responses described in the Virtual Virginity series. OTOH and most importantly, sincerity, honesty, and innocent intention prevent you choosing manipulative initiatives.
It’s tough to be truly feminine after so many decades of Feminism. But it’s easily natural for ladies who seek it and thereby more effective to win men to your side in a relationship.