2431. Mystery and Mystique

Her Highness Cocoa tipped me to the need for this post and a problem I hope to resolve.

I’ve misled you ladies when you think a man should be denied a response when he inquires about you. Except about your sexual history, a man’s curious questions should not be met with silence or what he sees as very limited information. To pursue mystery for the sake of mystery works against you; you’re insincere which isn’t natural or feminine. You should appear as open as it serves your self-interest. IOW, your heart will guide you when not to be open.

But your response may not be what he wants to hear. For instance, he inquires about something too personal for the maturity of your relationship, and you respond with “I don’t know you well enough yet.” Very acceptable for your comfort. Or, he inquires about sex, and you change the subject to marriage in order to evade info you want to keep personal. Also acceptable to test for his intention. Neither is purposely designed to create mystery, although both may.

Without discriminating, I’ve been using three kinds of ‘mystery’. a) Accidental, as described above. b) Naturally, called feminine mystique, which generates a man’s romantic interest in you. c) Deliberately to better interest, capture, or keep a man by hiding your thoughts so you can figure him out before he figures you out.

Now, a) and b) need no further explanation, but c) does. The feminine nature is modest in conversation as well as unique in appearance, behavior, and future concerns. Focused on achieving your primal need for a brighter future, you are naturally reticent about discussing the present because it can have adverse effects on your future. Feminine means caution until you decide it’s unnecessary.

Being modest in conversation, however, doesn’t mean unable to be interesting, courteous, respectful, and polite. If a man seeks info that you don’t want to impart, you need a respectful response to divert the subject but retain his interest in you. For instance, his persistent interest in your sexual history causes you to face the toughest of challenges with adequate responses described in the Virtual Virginity series. OTOH and most importantly, sincerity, honesty, and innocent intention prevent you choosing manipulative initiatives.

It’s tough to be truly feminine after so many decades of Feminism. But it’s easily natural for ladies who seek it and thereby more effective to win men to your side in a relationship.


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, Fickle female, Her glory, How she wins

4 responses to “2431. Mystery and Mystique

  1. Cocoa

    EDITOR’S NOTE: MY RESPONSE IS IN CAPS following your questions in lower case. GUY

    Thanks so much sir Guy for addressing feminine mystery. I like how you broke mystery to 3 categories.

    I see that keeping feelings and Intensions to oneself is critical. Meanwhile and that depends as you said on the maturity of the relationship, keeping personal information is sometimes necessary. For example, not all financial details should be shared. Or some health issues, say if a woman is going to have surgery and doesn’t feel comfortable or even appropriate sharing with the man of interest, is that considered insincere? SHE SHOULDN’T JUST GO IN FOR SURGERY WITHOUT NOTICE. TELL HIM IT’S GOING TO HAPPEN BUT THE TYPE IS TOO PERSONAL FOR HER TO TALK ABOUT. ASK FOR HIS TOLERANCE OF HER WISHES. Too much mystery he can’t take? WHEN HE ACCEPTS THAT, MYSTERY DISSOLVES INTO CONCERN. Maybe the issue is that the man thinks that the relationship is at a particular stage while the woman still believes it is not mature yet. Maybe this discrepancy in evaluation causes another problem?! SURE, BUT IT’S UP TO HER TO UPHOLD HER DEFINITION OF MATURE.

    We are not to share sexual history as it might or will indeed be used against us. I think we need to examine our hearts as what might be used against us and avoid disclosing it. Telling a man he’s Mr right or Mr perfect is another disclosure that needs not to be disclosed. LAST SENTENCE IS ABSOLUTELY CORRECT AND WISE ADVICE. WHEN SHE DISCLOSES THAT HE’S MR. RIGHT, HE THINKS HE’S ALREADY GOOD ENOUGH AND NEEDS NOT TRY ANY HARDER TO WIN HER.

    You are very right about feminism effects on men, even if they are mid age, the plague is everywhere. Feminism taught women to be like men, as in why keep anything private or sensitive to oneself, there is no such thing. Full disclosure is expected I guess in all interactions these days. Not good. AMEN!

    I believe if a woman was pressured by a man to disclose something she doesn’t feel comfortable disclosing, that she needs to stand firm and not give in, even if he chose to punish her with his withdrawal. Again, two hard heads are facing each other here… IF HE CAN GET HER TO GO AGAINST HER COMFORT, HEART, AND BEST INTEREST AT THE TIME, HE WILL HAVE LEARNED HOW AND DEPEND ON DOING IT THE REST OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP WHENEVER HE WANTS TO GET HIS WAY WITH HER.

    Thanks again sir Guy.

  2. Sarina

    Honesty is the best policy, except for very personal matters. Not only feminism, but also pornography is a huge cause for the degradation of women. I talk randomly with female acquaintances and they have this gross sexual language that is shocking, makes sleazy men look innocent in comparison. The power of technology! Guys at any age can access smut with a click of a button, that’s why relationships are so messed up, men cannot take women seriously and see them as equal, but rather as sex objects.

    Anyhow, it’s important to keep mystery, but I’ve also made the mistake of dancing too much around a subject before giving an answer and that also irritates some men.

    Your Highness Sarina,
    Add more smiles and humor to your dancing to minimize irritation. Give an answer when you’re ready. Better to delay than err.

  3. This was a very interesting read!

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