2628. Stop Complaining

Wives take their frustrations and weaknesses out on husbands by complaining. It’s not a good practice, because husbands presume they dissatisfy their wives, and satisfaction is to men what love is to women. Complaints make him think he is not returning her love.

Modern women lack appreciation for the lives they live. They moan and groan about everything but their own appearances, dispositions and outlooks, which are the roots of dissatisfaction. Complaints self-excuse them from taking action to modify their appearance and improve their future. Also, women little realize that complaints/excuses weaken their self-confidence as it tars over and hides their feminine character, demoralizes their expertise of dealing with men, and thus generates additional complaints about self and husband.

They look for improvement in jobs and betterment in careers, and it works for awhile. But by their forties, they tend to match one lady who claimed she feels like “an unfulfilled old cow.” As told to me, “She is permanently depressed and has always overeaten.” It’s only an anecdote but illustrative.

I’m sure many women are satisfied with themselves and their jobs, careers, and even husbands. But even they have picked up many bad habits of complaining.

It’s endemic and men run from it. Why? Because her complaints—whether intended or not—point the guilt finger at husband, and men don’t accept guilt from someone else. Husband tires of it quickly and flees toward some woman not yet inflicted with complaints about him and excuses for her.

And each woman claims, I have no burden to satisfy men or a man. Of course she is right, if she has no interest in finding, capturing, and keeping a good man for herself. But that is seldom fact.

Wives can much more easily satisfy husbands, if they just drop endless complaining. Accept responsibility to fix all problems herself, and twiddle his nose slightly out of joint with a tactic I have developed. It only requires the feminine charm, patience, and dedication to her marriage that she already possesses. IOW, it’s far less work and worry for her.

Complaints generate more ill-will than resolve the causes. To encourage yourself to stop complaining, change your thoughts to this. After a short while of no complaints, adopt the new tactic below. It gets husband to thinking more of what he does and doesn’t do than you can ever complain about. IOW, he inherits new responsibility for identifying what works in the home and family more than whatever complaints/guilt you throw at him.

  1. Make this your worst, most negative comment, and your marriage will take on a new complexion. In a quiet moment, “Honey, your husbanding (or fathering the kids) has started to decline. You might want to think about it.”
  2. Then change the subject and refuse to explain or comment. If he pushes too hard, respond with: “You are the husband (or father) and so you know what to do, which may include nothing. It’s up to you. I am (or the kids are) just along for the ride you provide. I’ll do the work, but good leaders satisfy their followers.”

Of course, he doesn’t know what causes his methods of husbanding to decline. If he takes her comment to heart, he will figure out many more possibilities than she ever expected. His behavior may change about many things she did not expect, and some will be improvements. Allowing time to earn credit for his trying to do better, she’s wise to adopt the new tactic instead of returning to the wifely complaint syndrome.

From what a man figures out needs fixing, he remembers to do it much better than from being reminded of his shortcomings.


Filed under feminine, Fickle female, Her glory, How she wins, marriage, sex difference, sex differences

8 responses to “2628. Stop Complaining

  1. Miss Gina

    Dear Sir Guy,

    Love this!!!

    I think female complaining has its roots largely in feminism, which plays to the baser parts of human nature.

    Female complaining is the opposite of female empowerment, which takes creative responsibility for getting things done without ruffling feathers.

    A great example in the Bible that comes to mind is Abigail, a beautiful and wise woman whose wicked and ungrateful husband greatly snubbed David (the one who later became king). Her swift and decisive actions earned her a proposal from Israel’s greatest warrior and future king immediately after her husband’s demise. It’s a fascinating little story.

    Feminism isn’t about empowering women to improve their lots in life. It is about giving away feminine power to *men,* as it insists that only male actions can make a woman happy.

    Feminine empowerment is recognizing that, essentially, “If it is to be, it is up to me,” while learning to encourage and win appropriate responses from others without manipulating. It can be a lifetime education, well worth the cost.


    Your Highness Miss Gina,
    And I loved your response and story.

  2. Sarina

    How about a desire to abstain from insulting guys even when they deserve it? Women’s words seem to have an impact on men whether we’re aware of it or not. I wasn’t sure of this effect, but it’s great to know.

    Also talking with a possible partner about women problems might be a turn-off. I know a female friend that talks with her boyfriend about issues such as toilet matters, bodily functions and periods, she always pops pimples in front of him. No kidding, how does that scream ‘special woman’? We need to be careful what sorts of subjects we allow in our conversations with men

    Your Highness Sarina,
    Gross women kill their own mystery. Mystique about feminine and personal matters is a magnet that is de-magnetized by full disclosure.

    • gonemaverick

      Couldn’t agree with you more Sarina. I have never been able to understand women’s comfortableness with discussing ablution matters with men.

      • Femme

        Not to mention guys in the delivery room? (not just fathers).

        Your Highness Femme,
        Why exclude fathers? The effect that mothers hope to achieve is not the one that men experience.

  3. Wow! This is awesome stuff! Better than stuff, but I’m just sayin’! 😀 Guys really do seem to be clueless about our long.lists of expectations. We wives should learn to give it a rest. I’m trying to relax and realize in this life no one makes it out alive so just enjoy the ride. This helps to learn to accept our man. Good night.

    Your Highness Queenlyreign,

    “Guys really do seem to be clueless about our long.lists of expectations.”

    You’re right. Guys and even husbands being clueless compounds with her feminine mystery to make her more appealing to be with.


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