Newbies and passers-by, these themes apply:

• Women and men: Differences enlighten, likenesses mislead.
• Men commit for sex, but women earn devotion withholding it.
• Romantic loves fades in a year or two. Sure you won’t be dumped?
• Feminine RULES men; can you bring it?
• Blog description at http://wwnh.wordpress.com/about-2/.
• University enrollment at http://wwnhu.wordpress.com/orient/ 
• America First: Stop sign on road to tyranny at http://www.barnhardt.biz/ 

1520. Friendly Reminders — #10

• Women live as if they truly are the weaker sex. Men have nothing more exceptional than themselves to look up to, and so they look down on women.
• Women tolerate men or things that embarrass them, disturb their sense of privacy or person, or encourage them to act as guys do. Persistently avoiding and preventing such things generates female uniqueness, standards, and expectations that appear as virtue and respect to male eyes.
• Her hard-headedness tames the right man. Her soft-heartedness fine tunes him.
• Devotion outshines a man’s words. He acts out rather than expresses his feelings. He fulfills his promises. He spends what time he can with her for the sake of nothing else. He looks to her for confirmation, comfort, and companionship. He works harder outside the home to fulfill his manly role of provider and protector. His devotion shines from what he does for her, even though his affectionate words will be scarcer than she prefers.
• A woman that builds her nest to suit only herself soon finds faults in her man. A woman that builds their home to please her man finds worth in her man. His worth leads to her gratefulness, which brings happiness to her.  

 

1519. Friendly Reminders — #9

• Hardtoget stimulates a man’s imagination, persistence, and determination, which are more powerful than sex appeal. Most women have sex appeal, but too few stimulate a man’s imagination and persistence much beyond sex.  
• Women accept, encourage, and even duplicate female-unfriendly masculine behavior. Except for genitalia and sexual promise, they appear as just one of the guys. So, men conquer and move on. Women weep and long for Maalox relief from relationship reflux.
• Until they yield or unless they fail, women dominate relationships before conquest. Men move cautiously, even ease off their dominance, in order to avoid a no-score.
• Male bashing in emails, koffeeklatches, and entertainment media imply or accuse men of domestic irresponsibility. The self-fulfilling prophecy works, and modern women face men they don’t care much about—promise-breaking boyfriends, lackluster husbands, irresponsible fathers, other women’s castoffs, and violent spouses.
• Modern wives reject castle-building for their man. They enshrine themselves with him as prince consort to her as sovereign queen. Only wusses, feminized men, and PC advocates stay long with such women.
• Men enjoy the proliferation of unobligated sex brought to them courtesy of Feminism. Still, they prefer to marry a sexually inactive woman and the closer to virginity she appears, all the better.

1518. Favored Quotes—Collection 31

“Many times men don’t know what they want. They need to be in charge but want to please. It’s their nature!” [Anon… at 577]

“I AM a better person for choosing to love him and for submitting to the idea of a great marriage over feeling romanced on a regular basis.” [Ramona at 1461]

“I’ve noticed when there’s an overindulgence of these characteristics, vices appear. For men, it’s pride (with overindulgence of self-admiration) and for women, it’s vanity, envy, or gossip, or a combination of any of these (with overindulgence of self-importance). As a woman, it’s easier for me to identify what I often see with women. By providing men with admiration, and women with importance, both sexes can interact harmoniously.” [Laceagate at 1460]

“Then a few hours later, [my mother] said to me when we were alone: That boy is not afraid of me. If he really loved you, he should be a little afraid of me.” Joanna at 1464]

“I love what one writer has said (in contrast to the 1960′s, “I am woman. Hear me roar.”). She says “As women, we have the power of the whisper.” [Sharon at 1512] [NOTE: Lady Day said the first quote came out in 1973.]

“Many, many women — perhaps out of their woundedness — advocate manipulation (instead of indirectness), aloofness (instead of principled feistiness), superiority (instead of respect), etc. The differences might sound minor, but my experience has been that they instead are a gulf… and one avenue leads women to crustiness and increased discontent, whereas the other leads them to gentleness and increased peace.” [Not-so-annomymous Anne at 1409]

“Men are no longer content to be gentlemen and protect women; they feel the need to conquer incessantly and brag to their buddies. It’s no wonder you are all single and miserable and hate women. In your minds we have become the enemy – you make us adversaries instead of allies.” [Lauren about Guy Jr. at 1495]

1517. Friendly Reminders — #8

• Well-raised children aspire to become adults; they figuratively can’t wait. They expect to earn enough to pay their fare, and then craft a first class life with a mate. However, if treated as adults in childhood and elevated to first class as children, they aspire to just grow up. As adults they continue to act immaturely, because they learned as kids that that’s good enough.
• The longer and more persistently a woman keeps a man interested in her without yielding sex the first time, the more he credits her for chasteness generally (aka closer to virginity). His conquering spirit tells him that other guys were unsuccessful. If he can’t score, then others haven’t and can’t.
• The wife is the major nesting partner. The home is her domain. More figurative than literal, the successful wife creates a benevolent faux dictatorship. She builds benevolence by turning kingly requirements into queenly preferences. He takes credit for symbols but she uses faux dictatorship to preserve family values and shape outcomes. He’s front office. She’s back office. He fuels the bus with present-day leadership but she drives it with their future paving the road ahead.
• What happens in adolescence governs much of what happens in husbanding. Men learn as teens how to later treat women.

 

1516. Friendly Reminders — #7

• Often to ease her guilt, a woman talks about her ex, but it reveals her own shortcomings. However, sympathetic and empathetic listeners hear only her side and assuage her guilt and ease her blame. It confirms and reinforces her rightness, but a hex emerges. She senses relief from having to be different the next time, from having to change herself in future relationships. So, she gravitates toward guys much like her ex.
• Men don’t love competitors, but yet they find men companionable. It’s different with a competitive wife. A man learns quickly that he can never measure up; she always finds a way to win. She overrides or demeans his decisions in domains he considers his own. Her nature mandates that she be that way, if she can’t or won’t abandon her competitiveness to keep a husband.
• A man loves a woman directly for the person she is. Not so much for what she does and says, but his respect for her and the promises she holds to brighten his days. His imagination keeps his heart afire. He’s really very simple when truly in love.
• Female love is quite different and complex. A woman loves herself first and loves a man secondarily and indirectly. She qualifies him for what he does and says and for his ability to make her life worthwhile—especially her future. Based on her appreciation of how well he does what she expects, she loves him.
• However, a woman’s immaturity disrupts the previous pattern. Simply put, an immature woman doesn’t love herself. This shortage of self-love, usually fallout of inadequate fathering, colors her judgment and governs her behavior against finding a compelling and lasting true live.

1515. Friendly Reminders — #6

• The lure of a conquest stimulates a man’s overstatements and stirs braggadocio about his benefits to a woman. It’s his nature. It should trigger her hard-headedness for not only more but also sustained proof of his assertions, if she hopes to win and keep him.
• Women nurture, lead, and coach their stepchildren differently than their own. To let differences show stops or slows family blending and makes both classes of kids poorer as family members. Organizational togetherness and solidarity breed harmony, which husband wants to see and expects wife to provide.
• When most girls use virtue and abstinence to dominate social dynamics among peers, as in old school, boys turned down for sex don’t take it personal. Instead, girls are just hardtoget, overly virtuous, or daddy’s girl and respect grows between the sexes. When most girls engage in sex either easily or eventually, as in new school, boys turned down take it personal. They lack what they need to compete with guys, girls are blamed, and disrespect grows between the sexes.  
• Boyhood consists of little men that need their values shaped so they later help fulfill female hopes and dreams. Thus, girlhood determines what womanhood faces with manhood.

1514. Favored Quotes—Collection 30

• “’Pretty time’ has not stuck with me because I was not doing it for myself but for others and since I did not get the result I was expecting I did not put any more effort into it. Pretty time is self-respect and love for myself above all others, which is the only way it can stick because it comes from within. It’s not a veneer.” [Ettisen at 1143]
• “In my opinion, kids should be allowed to be kids and they have to fall sometimes or get hurt to learn how to pick themselves back up.” Brittany at 1380
• “No competition in the home, because men win sooner or later if they’re forced into competitive mode with their women.  Spouses and partners should be a team and not competitors.” [Miss A at 1386]
• “It was when I didn’t take the backseat and let things happen that my relationships fell to pieces. Think about it, when you try to force thing (a man) it never turns out the way you want.” [KP at 1434]
• “[E]very Mr. Romantic … used romance to dull my attention to his short-comings as a potential forever husband and father.” [Ramona at 1461]
• “I’m not big on hyphenated names. To me it looks faux-aristocratic. ” [Ginger at 577] Guy adds: and faux-European.
• “Nothing is more important than the breakdown of the family. As it goes, so goes the nation.” [Beauregardtheman aka Stephanie at 1376]

 

1513. Denise Confirms It’s All About Respect

Her Highness Denise posted the following comment at 1216—Respect for Women Before Feminism.

Dear Guy,

I was so touched by this post. I know it was not meant to be sentimental, and I didn’t take it as such; but this was the best picture of classic American society, ideals and values that I have ever read–through high school, college, and law school.

I’m having difficulty knowing how to describe what exactly moved me–maybe it was finally reading a credible account of what exactly helped this society to become what it is…and hopefully will continue to be. Perhaps it is that the educational institutions of this country tend to be very cynical, and this post shows that cynicism to be false. They say that the more formally educated a person becomes, the more they tend to lean left. I can’t argue with that statistic, but speaking from what I have seen and experienced, it may have a lot to do with the picture of this country that is often presented: hateful, racist, sexist, oppressive, violent. And the more that picture is thrown in one’s face, the more one believes it must have been true. After all, very few of us were actually there to be able to know how it really was.

It’s like having to make a judgment about America without knowing what actually happened. The conservatives make their arguments that it was one way, the liberals their arguments that it was another. Most on both sides come across as too ideologically driven to be trustworthy. But this concept of respect is compelling as a lens through which to view the social dynamic of yesterday’s American culture.

My great aunt was an African American woman who was a nanny and housekeeper for a wealthy family for years, who made her enter through the back door, cook their holiday meals without regard for her time with family, and paid her a pittance. Her story could be analyzed through either a feminist or racial lens with respect to her limited opportunities. And yet she carried herself with such class and was revered by myself and other family members as being worthy of the utmost respect. When she was alive I often wondered how it could be that those who are now considered to have been the most oppressed and victimized carried themselves with more dignity and self-respect than those who now have more liberty. That itself ought to be the indication that something has gone awry.

I have two women friends who graduated from college in the early 1960s. They told me about how utterly different things were then and all the rules girls were subjected to (to which the young men were not). But neither complained. One said that while she appreciates the greater opportunities for women now, she felt that women were more protected then. Neither claimed that things were perfect, but something needn’t be perfect to be “better”.

It seems that, on the whole, man, woman, black or white (child, chicken or duck…), everyone had a degree of self-respect and an understanding of the necessity of treating others with respect that we simply do not have today. I see that respect is key, and yet I don’t quite understand where it went. What exactly led to people disrespecting themselves and one another?

Denise

P.S. Sorry for the dissertation! I was very encouraged by reading this. It provides a clear picture for me of what to pray for regarding our country. And moreover, it has revived my former political sensibilities, long wilted under the heat of politically correct liberalism.

D.