Her Highness QEII at #827 inquired about men that cheat: “Is there a certain untrustworthy type of man (because of upbringing) or does it always come down to a balance of power and respect in particular pairings?”
All men are not destined to cheat, but all are susceptible. God’s design and Nature’s hormones lock in primal urges to both compete with men and conquer females. Many men purposely move from susceptible to cheater. Others slip. Still others are lured.
One characteristic most often pressures men to be unfaithful: Adolescent-mindedness carried into adulthood. Unfortunately, it’s fairly common.
Robert Bly, author of The Sibling Society, claims society has millions of adults with adolescent mindsets. Some families are several generations deep in adolescents raising adolescents. Throughout life adult-adolescents unconditionally respect their own generation—as if they’re all siblings in life together—but they show highly conditional respect and often disrespect for other people.
Her Highness QEII nailed it with this phrase “because of upbringing.” The values that bring success to teens imprint for life, but earlier childhood lays the foundation.
Life between infancy and puberty shapes children for life. Brought up without being taught to live with and within mature adult values, boys and girls pass through puberty and teen years with vacuum-cleaner minds sucking up adolescent values. The child enters adulthood by keeping whatever mixture of mature adult values and newly absorbed adolescent values that brought success as a teen.
Thus, adult-adolescents carry a predominantly teen mindset for life. Remember WADWMUFGAO—we all do what makes us feel good about ourselves. Immature adolescents show much less respect for and discretion regarding others. This translates as less conscience regarding faithfulness.
This tends to confirm once a cheater always a cheater. But it doesn’t allow for a man’s makeover from guilt, religious salvation, or newfound respect for spouse. Many cheaters are capable but too few become willing, perhaps because too few women have escaped the same mental shortcoming of living an adult life with an adolescent mindset.
In the final analysis, the best insurance against cheating is a man’s loyalty to himself, his own personal integrity. His word to himself means more than other words, temptations, or enticements, including those of an attractive female drawing him into her web. (I wonder how many wives encourage and reinforce husband’s personal integrity, his sticking by his words and commitments on principle—especially when she dislikes the outcome.)