250. Female Fortitude—66 through 70

These ‘fortitudinals’ provide special themes or summaries. Numbers match the posts.

66.            A woman easily kills her relationship when she exhibits female weaknesses that harden her heart against cooperation and soften her head in favor of competing with her man.

67.            She recycles to the dreaded ex side of life. Her lament: ♫Where oh when ♫is my next boyfriend? She sighs, cries, and sponges up the sympathy and encouragement of her girlfriends. But the next hook up restarts the cycle.   

68.            Women hook up only to ask, Why does he not call? Many possible reasons apply both after weeks of dating and one night stands.

69.            Feminism encourages women to value themselves individually, as men do. Femininity encourages women to value themselves as part of a couple, as Nature endows them.

70.            If her ex is going to be any different than he was in their first marriage, he needs to respect her more than before. Only that will make him favorably different, and virtual virginity earns such additional respect.

[Previous fortitudinals appear in posts 245, 240, 234, 228, 213, 203, 199, 186, 182, and 176.]

249. Do women know jack about Jack? —Part 15

♀?♂  When unmarried women yield the first time to a man, he wins much more than sex. Men rule over women they conquer. If she refuses, he dumps her.

♀?♂  Men see friendship differently. Women don’t fit a man’s mold of pure friendship, except when they are not sex targets.

♀?♂  Men treat women according to what they appear to be—sex object, slut, lady, sloppy, neat, pretty, immaculately groomed, careless, desperate, disposable…. That is, she’s responsible for the respect with which she’s treated.

♀?♂  Men treated as sex targets by females learn that all women have little else to offer. Let the fun and irresponsible games continue. Visible groupies are more significant than unseen bed post notches.

♀?♂  Modern female fidelity is questionable to men, because so many women sacrifice themselves at the altar of sexual freedom.

♀?♂  More than sex, men crave appreciation for who they are and what they do. If not their wife, however, sex works just fine for today—thank you very much.

♀?♂  One major facet of a man’s sense of significance rests upon not having to face men who have bedded his woman.

[More jack about Jack appears in posts 232, 217, 202, 185, 172, 162, 153, 142, 135, 132, 114, 97, 91, and 7. Scroll down or search by the number with a dot and space following it.]

248. Virtual Virginity #14

♀ ♥ Virtual virginity means just say No to unmarried sex. The purpose: To separate mature from immature, real from fake, reliable from irresponsible, surprising from humdrum, decisive from spineless, adult from adolescent in men and boys. Otherwise known as assessing a guy’s true potential for responsible husbanding and fathering.

♀ ♥ Unless he chooses to drop her—very likely in today’s sexual arena—denial of unmarried sex makes a man focus more and more on her quality, value, and potential as whole person and, hence, wife.

♀ ♥ Conquest stops his looking so diligently for her weaknesses and thus learning about her strengths; other things become more important than sex with her.

♀ ♥ Conquest releases a man to focus on other things. It frees him to move his attention to something else such as job, hobby, buds, or other females. 

♀ ♥ If she can refuse unmarried sex until she conquers him for marriage, she expands her influence over his natural dominance. The winning conqueror shapes their subsequent relationship.

♀ ♥ Women play the man’s game. They shop for friendship, pay with sex, and hope the relationship leads to shack up or marry up. Friendship based on sex doesn’t last, which makes escape easier for men.

[More about virtual virginity appears in posts 231, 212, 198, 181, 169, 158, 147, 136, 125, 96, 70, 51, and 44. Post 25 describes options for girls. Scroll down or search for the number with a dot and space following.]

247. Newlywed Bonding #4 —Money as glue

Every couple has two options: Become enslaved to money, or make money their slave. Marriages fail more from financial problems than anything else.

We survived, but barely. We were broke for the first two decades of our marriage. Out of money before out of month. We tried everything. Grace managed money, and I overspent. I managed, and she overspent. We tried something else, and we both overspent. No savings, no cushion, nothing but repeated loans to consolidate debts.

Then, we hit paydirt. We developed a simple system that worked wonderfully. We prioritized our needs and wants and funded them with whatever we had.

We turned money into our slave. Overnight we went from broke to rich, meaning we had enough money for everything we needed, and some for what we wanted. We grew ever richer as we methodically eliminated credit card debt.

Details follow in future posts.

[More about newlyweds appears at posts 242, 230 and 224. Scroll down or search by number with dot and space following it.]

246. Sex and the fickle girl—Part 11

♀ Modern women let the need to have boyfriend override common sense. His commitment promises togetherness that remains open-ended.  

♀ Women that talk endlessly when with a man cannot also be mysterious. Unless, perhaps, if their jabber stays impersonal, which it seldom remains.

♀ Women make the institution of marriage of, by, and for women and children. Husbands are left out once children are born. Men don’t play second fiddle and remain with that orchestra.

♀ Women tossed away femininity and the social construct of the lady to make room for feminist theory and spirit. Men fake, sidestep, and b.s. around whatever they face to access sexual partners. They wonder, but not too much, why women traded female strengths for masculine weaknesses in order to deal with men.

♀ Wives win this way: Before marriage he proves through devotion that he’s worthy of her; he earns her hand. After marriage she proves herself worthy of him; she maintains his devotion.

♀ When a woman diminishes or weakens showing respect and gratitude for her man, she earns his disrespect. This shifts her away from marital sainthood and positions her for disposal to the ex lane.

[More about sex and fickle females appears in posts 229, 216, 201, 184, 170, 160, 148, 137, 93, and 34. Scroll down or search by the number followed by a dot and space.]

245. Female Fortitude—61 through 65

These ‘fortitudinals’ provide special themes or summaries. Numbers match the posts.

61.      If they’ve not had their first sex together, he hears, he heeds, and he modifies his behavior in whatever way he thinks will advance his agenda for bed time together. Long sex-free courtships accumulate more of his habitual changes that help fulfill her hopes and dreams.

63.      Morality serves women much more than men. If a woman fails to live within and uphold a self-imposed strong moral code, she can expect mistreatment by men.

64.      Some women discourage manly devotion by providing cheap, uncommitted sex. Other women inspire manly devotion by delaying a man’s conquest until he wants her for much more than sex.

65.      The two-year glitch arrives quietly as romantic love fades away in a couple’s second year together. Both undergo transformation. If an enduring kind of love has not developed mutually, separation is not far off.

[Previous fortitudinals appear in posts 240, 234, 228, 213, 203, 199, 186, 182, and 176.]

244. What daughters never hear—Section 5

♫♥♫ As one woman claimed, Femininity adds color to a man’s black and white world. (Alison A. Armstrong, Keys to the Kingdom, 2003, PAX Programs, Inc. Sherman Oaks, CA , p.151)

♫♥♫ Old School vs. New School—Until sixty years ago females largely withheld sex until engagement or marriage. Men married expecting to stay that way. Nowadays, with sex so freely available, men dodge marriage as unnecessary or depart it as a dumb move.

♫♥♫ She makes her single self worthy of a man and becomes seller instead of buyer. This clicks her for the recycle bin, although he may not dump her until later. 

♫♥♫ By conqueror’s right he takes control of  their sexual agenda. She needs to own it until marriage so as to lay groundwork for weakening his dominance after marriage.

♫♥♫ Men separate sex from the gal. Women stupidly let them get by with it.

[More that daughters never hear appear in posts 227, 214, 200, and 183. Scroll down or search by the number with a dot and space following it.]

243. Sex differences explain men — Chap.19

♫ Men go for full disclosure in clothing but not person. Women go for full disclosure in person but not apparel. 

♫ Women have a good sense of what transpires beneath the surface of interpersonal relations. Men don’t.

♫ Women have a natural and strongly motivating sense of guilt. A man’s sense of guilt, if he has one, is the result of early childhood teaching.

♫ Women relieve guilt by making amends. Men relieve guilt through escape or forgetfulness.

♫ A woman scorned tends to be viscious and vengeful. A man scorned turns his attention to someone else. 

♫ Men use imagination to weaken female defenses against conquest. Women use imagination to prepare men for marriage.

♫ A man nags his wife, and she’s inclined to do better. A woman nags her husband, and he responds in his own good time if at all.

[More that explains men appear in posts 225, 210, 195, 179, 167, 140, 126, 124, 112, 95, 83, 74, 63, 53, 43, 35, 29,  and 4. Scroll down or search by the number with a dot and space following.]

242. Newlywed Bonding #3 — Respect as glue

Women marry so buried in love that they ignore a more critical issue to fulfilling their hopes and dreams—the importance of respect to their man and for the male nature.

First, men marry for significance. A husband expects wife’s respect for who he is and gratitude for what he does. It symbolizes his significance.

Second, husband’s greatest fear is insignificance, symbolized by wife’s disrespect and ingratitude. If she doesn’t depend upon him for a lot, or if she’s too independent, his sense of significance fades.

Third, a man’s love is based on respect for a particular woman. His unconditional respect for the female gender helps immensely, if he has it.  

Fourth, he wants her to stay the woman he married. He expects her not to change, but many women do. She loses both respect and her identity as the exciting thing that turned him onto marriage. His marital dream fades.

Fifth, she expects to change him into the man of her dreams. When she tries to change him, he resists. She pushes, he resents. She tries too hard, he retaliates. Ultimately, she loses so much respect that his masculine nature trumps his love.

Wife’s greatest fear is abandonment. A husband doesn’t stay long with a wife that he doesn’t respect or that doesn’t respect and appreciate him.

[More about newlywed bonding appears in posts 230 and 224. Scroll down or search for the number followed by a dot and space.]

241. Her sexual history? —Part VIII

♂ ♀ Her known past generates many more suspicions than acceptances and assurances. Her unknown past generates fewer suspicions to eat away at the mutual trust she hopes to build.  

♂ ♀ Counselors often advise full disclosure. When men actively pursue more about her past, they cannot not use the info they gain. Talked into full disclosure, women expect fairness and equality. The male nature does not originate fairness, and equality is a female concept.

♂ ♀ Full disclosure comes out uneven, unequal, unrepairable, because the male nature values her virtuous past far more than the female nature values his past virtue.  

♂ ♀ The harder a man works to draw details out of her sexual past, the more likely he will use it against her. It’s available to hold over her head and to rationalize or compensate for his future ‘mistakes’.

♂ ♀ Forgiving her sexual past with a lack of knowledge is far easier than forgetting what he learns from disclosure.

♂ ♀ People argue that trust cannot arise without full disclosure. Hah! Trust arises from convictions drawn from beliefs and speculation about a person. Trust does not arise when specific knowledge undermines such convictions.   

[More cautions about her sexual history appears in posts 166, 156, 145, 122, 121, 117, and 111. Scroll down or search by the number with a dot and space following.]

240. Female Fortitude—56 through 60

These ‘fortitudinals’ provide special themes or summaries. Numbers match the posts.

56.      Any organization needs a CEO, a final authority to whom falls the toughest decisions. Two-boss organizations inevitably fall apart, and people—think kids—are confused by two equal authorities to whom they report. It’s so easy to play one against the other.

57.      Women seek happiness with a man, but they can’t be grateful for who he is and what he does. It doesn’t work.

58.      ♀ Capturing a man for the long haul is all about salesmanship. Like any effective salesman trying to seal a deal, she learns to ‘take it away’ and stimulate his pursuit. It supplements the vague and unavailable and virtual virginity strategies discussed elsewhere.

59.      Even when sex is not cheap, a man ponders that other women look better than his present sex partner. As a skillful and successful hunter-conqueror, he could do better the next time. A woman’s challenge and only option is to make him forget the ‘do better’ and ‘next time’ parts.   

60.      Ignorant women begrudge male dominance. Smart women go around it, smother it with feminine charm, tease it into submission, and manage the pressures. No matriarchy has arisen in over 7,000 years, so evidence points to unalterable DNA as the root cause.  

[Previous ‘fortitudinals’ appear in posts 234, 228, 213, 203, 199, 186, 182, and 176.

239. Weans, tweens, and teens #9 — Selfishness

Selfishness is a minor subset of self-interest. (Post # 223)

Selfishness insists on getting one’s way at the expense of others. It’s natural to the human condition.

The need for and delivery of food and care teaches infants that being selfish pays off. Thus, long before an infant’s conscious mind comes alive, his subconscious mind gets ‘wired’ that putting self first is essential for living.

To the nurturer and observers, selfishness is unfairness. At first an infant puts too much pressure on caregivers, who quickly learn to handle or squelch the pressure. Later, it’s about sharing, especially with siblings.

Unfairness makes it an equality issue. Women, not men, favor and strive for equality. This better prepares mothers to ‘cure’ selfishness in a child. This makes it the province of nurturing, which means it’s more easily ‘corrected’ in the weans.

Later, as tweens and teens, selfishness becomes minor to the degree a child is led into making more mature decisions. By puberty selfish tendencies have been submerged behind other more beneficial habits in a child’s self-interest.

Selfishness provides one of the measuring sticks to forecast the adult from the child at puberty. The less selfish, the more mature. And vice versa.

Weaning a child from selfishness is minor compared to a major subset of self-interest. Self-centeredness follows in this series.

[More about childhood mental growth appears in posts 223, 208, 197, 193, 192, 187, 178, and 177. Scroll down or search by the number with a dot and space following it.]

238. From feminine mystique to feminist mistakes — Part 3

        Patriarchy is natural. Throughout history no matriarchy ever arose, but our American foremothers came closest. Our forebears converted and integrated immigrant patriarchies into a female-friendly, family-centered society.

Our Judeo-Christian value system empowered husbands to dominate workplace and society and enabled wives to dominate home and culture. This empowered our foremothers to promote manly significance and indirectly shape the future without violating the natural dominance of men.

Single men were minor players in cultural development, because most men married or sought marriage. Single women adopted, upheld, and even uplifted the virtues of Womanhood as spreader of all that is good.

Husbands fulfilled wifely expectations for a more civilized life. They tamed Nature, built wealth, managed single male excesses, observed rule of law, customized family-friendliness, and brightened the future for children.

Our American foremothers knew themselves and the male nature; they honored and exploited both. They pursued separate but equal genders.

Generation after generation made the USA more female-friendly. More law and order, security, generosity, compassion, wealth accumulation. Less male aggression, abuse, violence. Greater individual responsibility for family, fathering, husbanding.     

Women harnessed masculine energies to favor female-friendly and family-centered life. Without such wifely leadership, men don’t settle down to help women fulfill female hopes and dreams. As women go, so goes society.

Our foremothers never let up. Mothers tamed boys, girls civilized teen boys, and wives domesticated husbands. And that’s missing today.

[More on old school America appears in posts 218 and 204 below. Scroll down or search by the number with dot and space following it.]

237. Female dominance: Gone! Part 7

Except for the physical, feminine nature easily counterbalances male dominance. But modern women abandon their strengths.    

♀ Her mystery, morality, and modesty signal ‘permission denied’ for male boldness. It checks him, before he ventures too far. His need for caution makes him uncomfortable, which adds to her ability to dominate.  

♀ If he’s comfortable, he’s in control. If he’s uncomfortable, she’s in control.

♀ Female modesty rigidly enforced is the strongest natural counterbalance to male domination.

♀ Whatever embarrasses a woman reveals her unchanging nature. When she tries to overcome or ignore it for a man, she misses earning his respect and enlarges his dominion over her.  

♀ The next strongest counterbalance to a man’s natural dominance is a woman’s respect and attitude of gratitude for who he is and what he does.

♀ A woman’s moral standards set boundaries. Her enforcement holds a man in line, earns his respect, and sends silent messages about how life will be with her.

♀ Her lack of values, standards, and expectations means that she follows his. The lower his are, the more masculinity and male dominance direct his life.  

♀ She comes across as respectable, courageous, and strong—and maybe and unfortunately disposable—when she repeatedly has the strength to say ‘No’ to conquest.

[More on the shattering of female dominance appears at posts 222, 209, 194, 173, 159, and 151.]

236. Female malpractice — Part 7

♣ She assertively initiates unmarried sex—will she be led to church or left in the lurch? Odds favor the latter.

♣ New mothers that have no husband to love them indulge their children in hope mom will be more deeply appreciated. 

♣ She wears her heart on her sleeve, just to be sure he understands her—mystique or mistake? Probably the latter.

♣ She goes for one-night stands and bitches when he doesn’t call. Who’s at fault? The giver or the taker?

♣ Girls providing fellatio in public add dignity to the female gender. Right?

♣ Young women join adolescent men in raucously and raunchly applauding women stripping, pole dancing, using dildos. Debase your own gender and expect manly respect for anything but sex? Reflect badly on the gender? 

♣ She gets in his face loudly to win an argument. Is she attractive to keep around or just another guy to ignore?

♣ A woman kisses a frog into princehood. They marry. Then, she neuters him with words that wound his spirit for any kind of life with her. Then she can’t stand him, because he becomes more like what she calls him. Also, he can’t stand himself being with her.

[More about female malpractice appears in posts 221, 206, 189, 175, 164, and 150. Scroll down or search for the number with a dot and space following it.]