2262. Compatibility Axioms #861-870

861. Women expect men to hear what was never said. Men cannot, will not, or do not follow a woman’s verbal meanderings and impreciseness as other women can, will, and do. [291]

862. People miss a major point about teaching abstinence for teens. Girls firm up their confidence, expand interpersonal skills, and boost their relationship expertise by repeatedly saying ‘No’. Boys learn what’s permissible, acceptable, and valuable in the female world. [291]

863. Prettier women are treated better, and any woman can be prettier. Clothes and grooming impress both men and women. [291]

864. It’s rhetorical, but why do women try so hard to please men with sex but not please them with feminine charm, beauty, and strength of character that men admire? Men admire beauty, but they use sex and it’s a throwaway. [291]

865. Shack up as substitute or step toward marriage puts a couple’s destiny in the man’s hands. (Also, eighty percent of marriages fail after cohabiting.) [291]

866. The easier a man’s conquest, the less valuable to him is the conquered. [292]

867. Sex is an emotional commodity that works like an economic one. The greater the supply, the lower the cost men pay in emotional involvement, time, effort, and courtship expense. [292]

868. The conqueror thinks more about ‘me’ than ‘you and me’. Denial of conquest first shifts a man’s focus seriously toward ‘us’. [292]

869. Functionality and comfort dictate what men wear and look like except as female influence and expectations dictate otherwise. [292]

870. Pressures of Feminism force men to change their behavior, but it does not change their nature. Men resent, resist, and retaliate one way or another. Individual women reap the consequences. [292]

281. Wham, bam, thank you, ma’m! — Post 4 of 5

SUBJECT: Men are not considerate of her sexual wants, needs, and desires. Granted, they should be, but….

♂ Tell any man what he’s doing wrong in the sex department and expect unintended consequences.

♂ A man readily assumes that each woman appreciates his sexual performance, or something is wrong with her.

♂ He’s never eager to admit fault about his sexual prowess. Nor should he be excused, but she ventures onto rocky terrain when she brings it up.

♂ Commitment to a relationship does not mean she’s cherished. Neither does commitment energize a man the same way or extent that devotion does. 

♂ He takes her criticism as personal affront. Either he did it wrong, or he should have figured her out better.

♂ If he disappoints, she’s confused. If she explains, he takes it personally. If she goes too far or too fast, he thinks she’s too experienced.

♂ Men can be changed. They dig in their heels, however, when not done with the respect they expect and the indirectness that they can more easily honor.

♂ Men may be insensitive clods to women. But they consider their manly sexual expertise and boudoir manner to be exceptional if not extraordinary.

♂ The female mystery that men perceive varies greatly from one woman to another. So, where does he start but to feel his way along? (No pun intended.)   

♂ Virtual virginity works better than bed-testing before marriage. It conditions his thinking that she’s highly sensitive about what she expects of him. (See post 273 et al about virtual virginity.)

♂ Women make unmarried sex so easy that men don’t have to pay attention to her needs, drives, and desires. But doubts arise about her history and worth for marriage, if she’s too easily conquered.

It’s easy to talk about men being more considerate of a woman’s sexual wants, needs, and desires. As we have seen, however, men often interfere.

[More on this subject appears in posts 276, 271, and 266 and ends at future post 286.]

166. Her sexual history? —Part 07

 

 

 

♀ Trust suppresses suspicions, but a man’s trust takes longer to develop than a woman’s. Whatever New Man knows of her sexual history helps instigate suspicions that slow, stunt, or undermine the growth of his trust.

♀ Her New Man’s inquisitiveness about her exes is natural. Hearing details, he shifts into his masculine competitive mode to question her and his imagination. Was or was not her ex or exes superior in sexual relations, manliness, attentiveness, likeability, dependability, or as producer, provider, protector, or problem solver for her? To himself he will proudly claim “not” for the other guys. Until, that is, he concludes otherwise from small details that she discloses or he uncovers. His conclusion of  ‘not’ adds greatly to her value as a keeper.    

♀ A sexually active past doesn’t demean her for conquest nearly as much as it does for their subsequent relationship. It doesn’t mean he won’t marry her, but an imagined score card looks something like this: She loses respect-points for each of her exes and leaves a trail of doubt for New Man’s suspicions. The more easily she is conquered by New Man, the more lost points for his predecessors, and the more snooping her past invites. Since a man’s love is founded on respect, especially for how she protects her virtue, refusing to have sex with New Man restores respect-points to the score card. It’s why virtual virginity works. (See other posts for details about the VirtVirgin concept.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

79. Hook up but no call—Part 2

Women hook up only to ask the question: Why does he not call? Possible reasons apply both after weeks of dating and one-night stands.

Ω She acted desperate and easily readable.

Ω He thinks more of her as candidate for his parade of conquered females than as a prize worthy of a return bout.

Ω He was just looking for a one-night stand.

Ω He’s committed to someone else.

Ω She’s sexy but unlikeable by him.

Ω She’s likeable but unattractive to him.

Ω She expects hook up to bond him with her.

Ω She yielded too soon. He learned nothing about whatever else she may have to offer.

Ω He’s an a–hole, which she should have taken time to detect.

Ω She showed signs of a nag, haranguer, meddlesome female.

Finally, obligation to return following hook up is a function of commitments made before hook up. This takes time to win him over for more than sex. Time’s also needed to build trust that he’s won over.