2135. Compatibility Axioms #621-630

621. Blame neutralizes or kills compatibility. She is unhappy with her man and blames him. He doesn’t understand her; things aren’t that bad. She’s just ungrateful for him, it appears unjustified, and he after all is a good man doing his best. If she explains it, he disagrees. What else is he supposed to do? Blaming him tampers with his sense of significance, his greatest fear especially when his woman questions it. As his self-defense attitude tells him, he’s challenged as a man and determines to produce results different and perhaps opposite to what she wants. [217]

622. Over time men seek improvements in their lives. They keep trying to better these main objectives: Frequent and convenient sex; meals easier to fix; comfortable recovery from daily work; sex partner that reflects credit on him. A man does it until satisfied with himself. Or compensated with a satisfying alternative such as a good and attractive wife. [217]

623. Her outside appearance attracts a man, her internal qualities hold him. [219]

624. Men seek to marry a virtuous woman, one they find so virtuous as to be fascinating. She’s only as virtuous as a man admires her qualities including appearance, traits, and achievements. So, her rewards associating with men come mostly from being admired for qualities superior to those of other women. Marital inclinations start with one man’s admiration of one woman that exceeds admiration of others. [219]

625. Loneliness and marriage are incompatible. Loneliness comes from too much self-centeredness that lacks self-importance. Sincere giving of herself to others and finding gratitude outside herself increases self-importance and drives out loneliness. [219]

626. What she thinks about most, she gets. If it’s unhappiness, she turns unhappy. If it’s pleasure, she turns toward that. If it’s loneliness, she migrates toward more of it. If its suspicion of his cheating, he’s driven toward it. (The subconscious mind takes each of us toward what we think about the most, whether good or bad, desired or undesired, liked or hated, feared or coveted.) [219]

627. Everything for which she can be grateful adds to her happiness. [219]

628. Modest attire, feminine mystique, moral restraint, monogamous spirit, and proud breast display make gaining access to sex with her appear as a major challenge. He sees that much more togetherness will be required for him to score than with women who dress suggestively or erotically. Except for the ultimate challenge of conquest, challenges are better motivators of men than sex. [220]

629. Feminine mystique stimulates the male mind to slow his charge to conquer, else he may miss out. [220]

630. Modest attire stimulates the male mind to slow its boldness, else he might offend her and lose out. [220]

283. Female dominance: Gone! —Part 9

          Our foremothers courted as the buyer, married, and became the seller. Modern women court as the seller, marry, and become the buyer. The former married permanently, the latter marries temporarily.

Our foremothers knew the price and paid for their man up front. They withheld sex and qualifed his potential for Mr. Right. Then they married and she rewarded him for husbanding and fathering. This helped him grow into Mr. Right.

Modern women reverse it. They act as discount sellers to capture and marry. Then they act as buyer and expect husband to keep elevating his value at the discounted rewards wife’s willing to give—especially reduced gratitude and cheap respect.

Consequently, modern women rely on hope, because they don’t or can’t qualify a man’s potential for either Mr. Right or lifetime dedication to her.

Women give up their abilities. They provide sex in exchange for faux devotion, that is verbal commitment. Modern women then pay the full price when they lose their man or dump him as inadequate.

[More on the shattering of female dominance appears at posts 252, 237, 222, 209, 194, 173, 159, and 151.]

282. Non-verbals in action

     Finding a decent man is not the challenge. Being a marry-able woman in every man’s eyes is the challenge. This empowers her as the buyer, and turns men into sellers. Good buyers read and play the non-verbals.

♫ To the male mind:

·        Nearness without touch pulls magnetically.

·        Her touch of him signals trust.

·        His touch of her signals more to come.

·        Almost, but not quite, energizes.

·        Curiosity satisfied stops interest in that one thing.

·        Erotic suggests short term interests.

·        Suggestive suggests long term interests.

 ·       She yields her independence with promises of ‘not now, later’.

109. Women, where art thou?

Women can be anything they want, but they have two distinct strengths that work against them, unless they know how to focus those strengths for dealing with a man.

Women are born hard-headed. This means they possess all the logic and reasoning power needed to inject virtue in themselves and impose moral standards on their immediate environment. They have what it takes to impose the female will whenever appropriate and wherever needed.

But, sometimes they get soft-headed associating with members of the opposite sex. They give up their strength, and when it happens their man takes advantage. She can’t hold her own, so she loses.

Women are also born soft-hearted. This side of her nature strengthens her with empathy. It provides natural skills for encouraging, nurturing, and nursing mental wounds.

But, sometimes women get hard-hearted. They grow selfish, self-centered, and often vengeful to make others pay for offenses to their female ego. They grow short on empathy, nurturing, encouraging others, and nursing the hurts of others.

The women most successful dealing with a man assertively emphasize their hard-headedness before marriage. After marriage, when keeping their man is most important, they emphasize their soft-heartedness and push their hard-headedness into the background.

This works on a very simple natural principle: Her soft-heartedness does not challenge or compete with her man. Her hard-headedness does, and when she lets it loose, he resents, resists, and often retaliates.

 

82. HardToGet Pays Off — Vague 1

Modern women bypass playing ‘hardtoget’. It works to stimulate and hold attention of the opposite sex, but women so corrupted the art that men stole it. 

Our foremothers’ strategy forced men to devote time and effort just getting to know them. A man had to work to figure out what made her tick. It posed challenges instead of giveaways. Conquest took the back seat in his mind, because hardtoget forced it there.

It enabled her to dominate the pre-dating and dating phases. Her lack of eagerness made him eager, when she played it right. In the process he uncovered her attributes of value to him.

Hardtoget means to use disinterest to dominate any situation with a male of interest. One should keep plans and schedule personal. Show none and even hide eagerness. Don’t explain, don’t complain, don’t reveal intentions, don’t alibi, don’t offer excuses or reasons for doing or not doing something. She states flatly when and what she will and won’t do. Never why, never eager, never without his putting forth considerable effort.

The strategy works, because people do not appreciate what they are given for little or no reason. But what they earn, they appreciate.  

Hardtoget challenges a man to pursue her and to explore what she is really like. Or else, provide evidence that he’s not all that interested in her. The earlier she knows that, the better off she is.

The hard truth: Men now exploit this superior tactic, call it ‘vague and unavailable’, and women fall prey to the ingenuity of their own gender.