304. Lifelong husbands—made, not born — Part I

Many complications muck up lifelong marriages in modern America. Five follow.

1.     The wisdom of the ages is lost. Women can’t learn from their moms, because their moms didn’t listen to their moms. It exploded four decades ago. Girls and young women rebelled and spouted slogans with revolutionary zeal: Don’t listen to anyone over thirty, Down with authority, Distrust parents, Ignore authority figures. We’re several generations deep now with women shaping their lives around these adolescent values. What one generation allows, the next practices.

2.     Men do whatever they have to do to have frequent and convenient access to sex. Because many women provide unmarried sex, men are encouraged not to swap independence for responsibility.

3.     The feminine nature presented with pride and charm appeals and turns men ON for female influence about helping fulfill a woman’s hopes and dreams. Our forefathers followed that model. But not modern men. Feminist politics, theory, and dogma turn men OFF for yielding masculine independence.  

4.     Men seek justice. Women seek equality. As women seek greater equality with men, they give up justice. The PC crowd—political correctioneers— destroy justice. PCers and feminists disconnect females from male empathy and sympathy. They reject the separate but equal roles that family life requires for mutual respect, harmony, success, and longevity.

5.     Morality serves women more than men. Women can use it, men don’t need it. Our Judeo-Christian cultural heritage serves women even better. It goes beyond morals to guide men and women into separate but equal roles in home and society. However, ideologies such as humanism, secularism, relativism, and elitism replace morality and religion with values that expand male dominance, serve males over females, and throw away what’s best for families.*

* See the Worldviews page for more about these ‘isms’.

302. Her sexual history — Part 09

♂?♀  Her faulty reasoning: She seeks a man’s empathy or sympathy about her ex. Whatever she gains will be lost as he ponders about or imagines her sex with ex.

♂?♀  Uncovering her sexual history is masculine due diligence. Men want to know, but least is best.

♂?♀  Knowledge is vital to his future interests. What should arouse his suspicions? How can he estimate her potential and confirm her faithfulness? How should he react when encountering men who have laid with her?

♂?♀  Feminine intuition tops full-disclosure. While not easy, women have the skills and expertise to hide who, what, when, where, why, and how of what he doesn’t already know.

♂?♀  Former relationships may be known to her man, but no mention should be made or details disclosed. It’s taboo.

♂?♀  Women should plan and develop non-disclosure tactics long before a relationship begins.

298. Female malpractice — Part 9

♣  Relationship maintenance gone awry:  Blame or expect him to resolve whatever ails their two-way relationship. This doesn’t mean that he’s not due some blame, just that treating him as such is counterproductive.

♣  Nagging doesn’t get more offensive than that which tampers with his sense of sexual significance.

♣  Marital longevity shortens under pressure of sexually accessible women outside the home. The sisterhood’s sexual freedom thus devalues marriage.

♣  Women favor to live with a man rather than spend time choosing a great mate. One made less great, because he begrudges his predecessor(s).

♣  To satisfy their self-centeredness and exercise their will over others, women use conditional love to manipulate their man and raise their children. The effect torments everyone.

♣  The more that women practice masculine-style sexual freedom, the more dedicated becomes the sex-chasing lifestyle of men. Things domestic lose their allure.

♣  Trying to change a man sours his affection for whoever tries. Her pressure offends.

♣  After split up, she’s the only one qualified to tell her how wrong she may have been. But listening to others eases her pain.

[More about female malpractice appears in posts 278, 236, 221, 206, 189, 175, 164, and 150. Scroll down or search for the number with a dot and space following it.]

291. Sex and the fickle girl — Part 13

♀  She can’t fix her love life, if she can’t call it broke because of her misapprehensions, miscues, and mistakes dealing with her man. Blaming him takes her eye off her relationship expertise. (She chose him, her decision prevailed.)

♀  Women look for love in all the wrong places. His love never blossoms or seldom lasts, when she places his showing affection ahead of her showing respect, his fashion-plate image ahead of his rugged individualism, his hunkiness ahead of his character.

♀  Women expect men to hear what was never said. Men cannot, will not, or do not follow a woman’s verbal meanderings and impreciseness as other women can, will, and do.

♀  People miss a major point about teaching abstinence for teens. Girls firm up their confidence, expand interpersonal skills, and boost their relationship expertise by repeatedly saying ‘No’. Boys learn what’s permissible, acceptable, and valuable in the female world.

♀  Pretty women are treated better, and any woman can be prettier. Clothes and grooming impress both men and women.

♀  It’s rhetorical, but why do women try so hard to please men with sex but not please them with feminine charm, beauty, and strength of character that men admire? Men admire beauty, but they use sex.

♀  Shack up as substitute for or step toward marriage puts a couple’s destiny in the man’s hands. (Also, eighty percent of marriages fail after escalation from cohabiting.)

[More about sex and fickle females appears in posts 259, 246, 229, 216, 201, 184, 170, 160, 148, 137, 93, and 34. Scroll down or search by the number followed by a dot and space.]

286. Wham, bam, thank you, ma’m! — Post 5 of 5

SUBJECT: Men are not considerate of her sexual wants, needs, and desires. Granted, they should be, but….

Love sits atop but does not dominate this subject. It may overcome and hold them together, and it may not.

 ♀2♂?  If conveying her wants, needs, and desires outweigh his satisfactions about their sex life, she’s not likely to get far without the tenderest diplomacy.

♀2♂?  She’s in charge. She’s in charge. She’s in charge. Not because he’s incapable, but because he lacks knowledge of her, and men often go to extremes to hide that lack.

♀2♂?  He sees little need for more than he already provides in love making. So, if she’s not satisfied, coaching him may help. (Nurturing demeans and teaching tends to humiliate him.)

♀2♂?  Any discussion of sexual shortcomings can push him toward consequences, up to and including abandonment, without her becoming aware.

♀2♂?  Husbands respond best to wife’s caution, indirectness, and patience. When he senses indirectly that she has an something unresolved, his problem solving persona emerges. He wants to uncover the problem and help. 

♀2♂?  Patience, soft-heartedness, and respect and gratefulness for who he is and what he does may capture and hold his attention. Those things show her love, as he expects to see it, and he’s much less likely to take offense about subjects sensitive to him.

♀2♂?  Devotion to her makes him want to pay attention and perhaps lavish affection on her. Thus, more devotion makes him more open to her wants, needs, and desires. 

♀2♂?  He expects frequent and convenient access to sex after yielding his independence for marriage. This may or may not make him devoted to pleasing her as she would like.

We can easily recognize that men should be more considerate of a woman’s sexual wants, needs, and desires. As we have seen, however, being married often interferes.

[This competes this title and subject. The rest appears in posts 281, 276, 271, and 266.]

285. Female Fortitude—101 through 105

These ‘fortitudinals’ provide special themes or summaries. Numbers match previous posts.

101.   Both change after their first intercourse together. He changes for the worse for her; she changes for the better for him. She pays the price, but he gets the reward.

102.   Living with or chasing small boobs means the man is willing to forsake adolescent immaturity and approaches sexual activity more maturely.  

103.   The end result of masculine-style sexual freedom for women is this: Men become more adroit at sexual hit and run, and women gain more experience living life as ex-girlfriend, -lover, -live in, -wife.

104.   Today, women measure his love by her standards, and so he repeatedly falls short. If men were born for closeness, nurturing, intimacy, and continuous dialogue, they would have been born female.   

105.   Women discourage displays of affection. They expect their man to do things that demean his masculinity—dishes and diapers? It’s not the doing that offends, it squeezes his sense of significance.

[Previous fortitudinals appear in posts 280, 275, 270, 265, 260, 255, 250, 245, 240, 234, 228, 213, 203, 199, 186, 182, and 176.]

284. The high cost of cheap sex — 12

♣  What one generation allows, the next practices.

♣  Living by high moral standards reinforces a female as right, proper, and courageous. Not living that way makes her easy prey for men.

♣  If she’s easy with sex, she’s of doubtful quality to the Marrying Man.

♣  Morality serves women and children much more than men. Highly moral cultural values make society female-friendly.

♣  Low morality energizes male friendliness and dominance.

♣  When morality declines, men operate with less female influence. They help downgrade social values further toward masculine interests.

♣  How females play the sex game dominates the lifestyle of males. Men keep trying to make frequent and convenient sex more easily available. The more loosely women play the game, the more men pressure for even more looseness.

♣  Men fill the power vacuum caused by women seeking masculine approval instead of holding up female-friendly values against male dominance.

♣  Females giving in to greater and greater male social pressure forces women to reshape the lifestyle of females and children.

♣  Men giving in to greater and greater female pressures forces men to reshape the lifestyle of males.

[More about high costs of cheap sex appears in posts 226, 207, 190, 171, 161, 149, 138, 99, 84, 39, and 2. Scroll down or search by the number with dot and space following.]

283. Female dominance: Gone! —Part 9

          Our foremothers courted as the buyer, married, and became the seller. Modern women court as the seller, marry, and become the buyer. The former married permanently, the latter marries temporarily.

Our foremothers knew the price and paid for their man up front. They withheld sex and qualifed his potential for Mr. Right. Then they married and she rewarded him for husbanding and fathering. This helped him grow into Mr. Right.

Modern women reverse it. They act as discount sellers to capture and marry. Then they act as buyer and expect husband to keep elevating his value at the discounted rewards wife’s willing to give—especially reduced gratitude and cheap respect.

Consequently, modern women rely on hope, because they don’t or can’t qualify a man’s potential for either Mr. Right or lifetime dedication to her.

Women give up their abilities. They provide sex in exchange for faux devotion, that is verbal commitment. Modern women then pay the full price when they lose their man or dump him as inadequate.

[More on the shattering of female dominance appears at posts 252, 237, 222, 209, 194, 173, 159, and 151.]